Mother. Write. (Repeat.)

Why I Won't Be Blogging for the Foreseeable Future

2012-01-24T10:21:00.000-08:00

I don’t post a lot of pictures, especially of my kids, butin this particular case, a picture really is worth a thousand words:) (Besides,newborns all kind of look the same, don’t they?) I’m pleased to introduce youto Baby Number Three, whom I will affectionately call Monster around the Internet.(He has a real name, honest, but you know how much I like nicknames. AndMonster is the name our four-year-old suggested when we asked him what hethought we should name the baby.)

The delivery was uneventful--or at least it was after theanesthesia finally worked. (For some unknown reason, the spinal took five extraminutes to kick in. (I didn’t particularly care for those five extra minutes.))Monster was born just after daybreak on Wednesday, January 11. He was a whopping eightpounds, seven ounces, which is almost a full pound heavier than Lady was whenshe was born, and he was twenty-one inches long.

Ironically enough, Monster has been the least monster-ish ofall our kids. He actually sleeps sometimes, and he hardly ever cries. Still, Idon’t plan to blog for the next couple ofmonths. I need time to adapt to my new normal.

I’ll be back later this spring, probably sometime aroundApril, and as I mentioned once before, I already have some interviews andadditional rounds of “An Agent’s Inbox” in the works. Until then, I hope youall have a great first-few-months-of-2012. I’m sure we will.

Book Recommendation: ICEFALL by Matthew J. Kirby

2012-01-10T07:47:00.000-08:00

Before I take my blogging break, I wanted to share one last book recommendation with you. I first heard about ICEFALL after reading Jenilyn’s review, and even though I hadn’t been too crazy about Mr. Kirby’s debut, she spokeso highly of ICEFALL that I decided to give it a try. That turned out to be agood decision on my part.

ICEFALL features young Solveig, a Viking princess with apenchant for storytelling. When a neighboring tribe attacks her father’skingdom, Solveig and her two siblings--her younger brother, the kingdom’s heir,and their older sister--wind up at their father’s stronghold with a handful ofservants and soldiers, all of them handpicked from among the court’s mosttrusted inner circle. With the fjord frozen over until the spring, the winterappears to be a long and boring one--until they discover they have a traitor intheir midst.

That was my favorite element of ICEFALL--how the story morphedinto an Agatha-Christie-style mystery. The cast of characters was fairlylimited, and none of them seemed to have a motive for betraying the royalfamily, so the questions flew on ravens’ wings. I also loved the novel’s worldbuilding. Solveig’s world and time were lush with all kinds of little detailsthat made me believe Mr. Kirby knew what he was talking about. In fact, readingICEFALL made me want to write a Viking story of my own:)

If you love MG mysteries set against richly layeredbackdrops, definitely give ICEFALL a read. And if you have any other MG titlesto recommend, feel free to leave them in the comments!

Agent-Author Chat: Tricia Lawrence and Adam Heine

2012-01-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

Today’s interview features an awesome agent-author duo, Tricia Lawrence of Erin Murphy Literary Agency and one of her newest clients, Adam Heine. Ms. Lawrence and Mr. Heine came to work together in a slightlyunorthodox way (which you can read about below), so instead of focusing on hisquery letter, we’re going to hear a little more about Mr. Heine’s overall querying experience--andhow Ms. Lawrence came to be a part of it.

BUT if you’d like to check it out, you can find Mr. Heine's query on Matthew MacNish’s helpfuland informative blog, The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment. (Andguys, it’s a good query. You’ll want to check it out.)

All right, back to the interview! Mr. Heine’s answers willappear in orange and Ms. Lawrence’s in blue.

KV: Mr. Heine, how did you first come up with the idea forAIR PIRATES?

AH: The world was a conglomeration of a bunch of things. Iwanted airships, like Miyazaki'sCASTLE IN THE SKY. I wanted cool characters with dark pasts, like COWBOY BEBOP(this is all anime, if you're not tracking yet). I wanted pirates like, well,Disney's PIRATES.

But my viewpoint character, for whom the world of airshipsand pirates was brand new, became this cowardly bookworm who believed he wasn'tgood at anything and never would be--everything I was as a teenager. And Irealized I wanted to take him on the same journey I took to learn that he canbe good at anything if he really wants to (though his journey involves a lotmore sword fights and explosions than mine did).

KV: Tell us a little bit about your querying experience. Howmany queries did you send? Did you send them in batches or all at once? Did youever pull back and revise your query and/or your manuscript, and if so, why didyou decide to do that?

AH: So I originally wrote and queried AIR PIRATES as anadult novel then, after about 50 rejections there, revised it as YA. There area LOT more YA agents than adult SF/F, and I knew very little about most ofthem, so I ended up sending out 140 more queries (do I wish I had sent fewer?Oh, yes). I most definitely sent them in batches.

I tweaked the query occasionally (like if I got feedbackfrom, say, an Agent's Inbox contest), but for the most part I made sure myquery was as good as I could make it even before I queried the adult version.I'd already made the mistake with my first (trunked) novel of sending a lamequery to my top agents. I wasn't about to do that again.

KV: How did you learn about Ms. Lawrence?

AH: About four days before she offered representation ;-) Ifirst heard about Tricia when Ammi-Joan Paquette, whom I actually queried,passed on my manuscript but said the newest agent at her agency might beinterested.

As it turns out, I couldn't have queried Tricia even if Iwanted to. For one, Erin Murphy Literary doesn't accept unsolicited queries(Ammi-Joan contacted me after reading my entry in one of Nathan Bransford'scontests), but more than that, Tricia wasn't an agent until after I'd sent outmy last query letter.

KV: Ms. Lawrence, when you received the referral for Mr.Heine's manuscript, what caught your attention?

TL: Ammi-Joan Paquette, my fellow agent, forwarded me Adam'squery and manuscript and told me that she was so, so, so, so close, but itwasn't quite for her and would I be interested in taking a look. I took a lookand was immediately intrigued. The first chapter alone makes you want to knowwhat in heck is going on in this story. Joan also sent it to my boss, ErinMurphy, who immediately said that she would definitely take a look after me, ifI decided to pass (yes, I got first dibs! and I'm so happy!). So, what got myattention? An excellent referral, and a fantastic first chapter.

KV: Obviously, the manuscript met--or exceeded--yourexpectations. What did you love about AIR PIRATES?

TL: I loved that I cared immediately for the main charactersand that the writing gave me perfect details--just enough to get me to read,but not so many that I didn't have to use my own brain to imagine it in myhead. Plus, I loved the idea of air pirates. Who wouldn't? And in Adam'sversion, we've got Jack Sparrow and Malcolm Reynolds and Gandalf the White allwrapped up together in a bow.

KV: How quickly did you read Mr. Heine’s manuscript? Is thatpretty typical of your response times on requested material, or do those vary?

TL: I read very quickly (within two or three weeks) and thatis not typical at all. Our typical response times on requested full manuscriptsis about four months, but I am attempting to improve on that. We're alwaysattempting to improve response times; it's our constant resolution, New Year'sor not. Agents and editors are deluged; that's just the plain truth.

KV: Mr. Heine, now that you’ve reached the querying finishline, what do you wish you had known when you were back at the start gate?

AH: I wish I'd known the third query I sent out would be theone ;-)

Seriously, I wish I could've been smarter about who Iqueried. For a lot of agents, there's only so much information out there, and Ididn't want to limit my options by not querying someone, but if I could do itagain, I'd make a short list (you know, like less than a 100) of agents Iactually wanted instead of querying everyone under the sun. (Then again, Idon't think I could've made that list until now, so I don't know what to tell you).

KV: Ms. Lawrence, what querying tips do you have?

TL: A query should interest me so that I ask for morematerial. Your promotional plans and your previously published work doesn'treally matter until I've seen your writing. Show your stuff in a query; writewhat you think should go on a book jacket if your book was on shelves, or whatAmazon gives as the blurb when they are selling your book. Interest one personand you just may interest a wider audience!

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like toshare with us?

AH: Don't let rejections discourage you for more than a day(for easy ones) or maybe a week (for hard ones). The pain does go away, and youcan use it as motivation to do better next time.

TL: If this is your dream, do everything you can to get it.Read, read, read. Study, study, study. Practice, practice, practice. Submit,submit, submit. Don't give up. Dig deep!

And there you have it! Thank you, Ms. Lawrence and Mr.Heine, for sharing your insights and experience with us. You’ve given us a lotto think about.

I’m sure all you YA and MG writers wish you could query Ms.Lawrence, so take a nod from Mr. Heine: Participate in the online writingcommunity. Share tiny pieces of your work through contests and other forums. Andmaybe, just maybe, you’ll get a bite.

Have a great weekend, all!

Coming Soon

2012-01-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve been trying to come up with an obligatory New Year’spost for a few days now, but nothing’s come to mind, so I’ll just fire a fewrandom thoughts at you instead.

First off, I wanted to share this article with you, “Livingthe Abundant Life,” from Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of JesusChrist of Latter-day Saints. It’s the best New Year’s thought I’ve got, and somuch of it applies to writing (not to mention querying). I especially likedthese lines:

“Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’scoveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and mustmake a second effort to achieve.

“Have the determination to make the effort, thesingle-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only toface the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort,should such be required. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end ofthe day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’”

Next, I have another interview for you, this one our fifth installmentof “Agent-Author Chat.” Fellow blogger Adam Heine and his new agent, Tricia Lawrence of Erin Murphy Literary Agency, agreed to come on the blog and answera few questions about how they came to be a team. Watch for that post to go upthis Friday.

Lastly, in case you haven’t heard, I’m having a baby, like,next week. Exactly one week from today, Honey Bear and I will welcome BabyNumber Three to our family and the world. (That is the one good thing abouthaving C-sections: their predictability.) So I’ll be taking the next couple of monthsoff. I’ll definitely post something about the birth, but after that, I’m notplanning to blog again until sometime this spring, probably in April.

But have no fear! I already have a handful of agents waitingin the wings to do interviews and judge more rounds of “An Agent’s Inbox,” sowhen we come back in April, we’ll pick up right where we left off. In themeantime, I’ll do my best to figure out this whole taking-care-of-three-kidsthing.

Happy New Year!

The Best Christmas Present Ever

2011-12-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

Stealth isn’t usually one of Honey Bear’s strong suits,especially when it comes to presents. I always manage to figure out what he’sgiving me, even though I don’t make any particular effort to do so. I guess Ijust know how his brain works. After all, we’ve known each other for nearlyhalf of my life.

So imagine my surprise when he put the last present underthe tree this year and I had no idea what it was.

He even warned me this was coming. Last December, he told methat there was something he wanted to give me but that he wouldn’t be able to giveit to me that year because it was going to take some time. I thought thatsounded interesting, then promptly forgot about it. But Honey Bear didn’tforget. In fact, he started working on this gift on January first.

Fast-forward to this Christmas morning. As soon as I pickedup the mystery present, a small, book-like package, I knew exactly what it was.I’d seen him writing in it pretty much every day for the last couple of months.(He’d kept it hidden from me before that.) I’d assumed it was a journal, and itwas. I just hadn’t realized it was all about me.

This journal has an entry for almost every day, and in everyentry, Honey Bear expresses his love and appreciation for something specific Idid that day. On one day, he wrote about how much he enjoyed seeing a moviewith me in the theater. On another, he told me thank you for taking care of thekids all day while he did homework and went to school. And on another, he expressedhow beautiful I’d looked that day.

It is, without a doubt, the best, most thoughtful present I’veever received. The small journal itself--and the acid-free pen he bought towrite in it--aren’t worth more than a few dollars, but this will be a gift Itreasure for the rest of my life.

December's Winners!

2011-12-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

Here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Withoutfurther ado, I give you Mr. Sherman’s picks!

Runners up:

#2 BODY AND SOUL
#9 FRACTION OF STONE
#15 DRIVERS

These entries win a request for the first 3 chapters and asynopsis!

Winner: #6 KILLING KESSLER

KILLING KESSLER wins a full request!

Congratulations to the four of you! Please e-mail me atkvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit your materials toMr. Sherman. Here’s hoping all four of them turn into offers!

UPDATE: In addition, if Mr. Sherman mentioned that he'd be willing to read more of your entry, feel free to query him at brooks(at)fineprintlit(dot)com with a REVISED query and the first 5 pages of your manuscript. With any luck, a few more of these contest entries will turn into requests!

Last but certainly not least, a big thank-you to Mr. Shermanfor taking the time during the holidays to give the entrants his thoughts, anda big thank-you to all of you for contributing your feedback and advice. Ireally appreciate your support, as these contests wouldn’t work without you.

Have a great Tuesday!

The Agent = Brooks Sherman of FinePrint Literary Management

2011-12-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

December’s agent was Brooks Sherman of FinePrint Literary Management! FinePrint is in the process of overhauling their website, so Mr.Sherman’s profile isn’t available just yet (although they expect to have their revampedwebsite up and running after the start of the new year). In the meantime, if you’d like moreinformation about our esteemed agent, you might check out these links:

Mr. Sherman’s Twitter page
Mr. Sherman’s profile on the Guide to Literary Agents blog

And from that profile: “He is seeking: On the adult side,literary and upmarket fiction running the gamut from contemporary (with an eyetoward multicultural or satirical) to speculative (particularlyurban/contemporary fantasy, horror/dark fantasy, and slipstream). Brooks alsohas a weakness for historical fiction and a burgeoning interest in crimefiction. For nonfiction, he is particularly interested in works that focus oncurrent events, history, and pop science/sociology. On the children’s side, heis looking to build a list of boy-focused Middle Grade novels (all subgenres,but particularly fantasy adventure and contemporary), and is open to YA fictionof all types except paranormal romance.

Brooks is specifically seekingprojects that balance strong voice with gripping plot lines; he particularlyenjoys flawed (but sympathetic) protagonists and stories that organically blurthe lines between genres. Stories that make him laugh earn extra points. Recentfavorites include WHITEMAN by Tony D’Souza, THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE by AudreyNiffenegger, the Monstrumologist series by Rick Yancey, THE THIEVES OFMANHATTAN by Adam Langer, and HORNS by Joe Hill.”

Winners coming up in a few hours...

Ding! Round Six!

2011-12-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

The entries are up, The Agent is here (or will be shortly), and the critiques are flowing in! Entrants, please remember to critique at least 3 other entries; everyone else, critique as many as you want. If you want to think like The Agent, you might consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" as you give your feedback, but I'm sure the entrants would love to hear anything you have to say (so long as it's constructive, of course).

I'll reveal The Agent's identity and announce his or her winners and prizes sometime next week. (Since Christmas sandwiched itself right in the middle of this month's round, I thought The Agent deserved a couple of grace days.) Until then, critique away!

P.S. Entrants, if you notice any problems with your entries, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail so I can fix them.

An Agent's Inbox #20

2011-12-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Mystery Agent,

Before Mia Tanaka decides to attend Vega Preparatory Academy, the hardestdecision in her life is choosing what college to go to; after she gets to Vega,she has to choose between her dream of becoming a time traveler and saving theworld.

Vega Preparatory Academyis a place shrouded in mystery. Even the brochure Mia is offered by Vegarepresentatives Rhys and Jesse, who happen to be beautiful, at her school’scollege fair doesn’t provide any helpful information. Mia gives the school noreal thought until Rhys impresses upon her how much Vega needs her, and inturn, how much she needs Vega.

Later that day, when Mia arrives at work, a strange woman grabsMia and warns her that she must not attend Vega Preparatory Academy, and if she does,there will be grave consequences. Despite the warning, Mia feels drawn to Vegaand decides it is where she wants to go.

During Mia’s first day at Vega, she is reintroduced to Rhys,who seems to be interested in her romantically. That would be great if itweren’t for Angelica, the mean girl who decides to make life miserable for Miabecause she has it in her head that Rhys is her man, and Jesse, Rhys’s handsomeand mysterious cousin who Mia can’t help but have a crush on.

Vega continues to intrigue Mia as bits and pieces of its secretcomes out. When Mia finally learns that Vega Preparatory Academy is the trainingground for time travelers, something clicks inside of her. This is what Mia ismeant to do. The only problem is there is just one lone female time travelerspot open, so Mia will have to fight for the position. Mia has never had tofight for anything in her life and isn’t sure that she has enough in her to getpast Angelica’s conniving ways, the strange woman from the diner who attemptsto shut down Vega forever, and most of all, her own insecurities.

VEGA is a YA Fantasy novel complete at 100,000 words.

Growing up on the sunny shores of Kailua, Hawaii,I avidly read books like A Wrinkle inTime, Tennis Shoes among the Nephites,and Anne of Avonlea. These booksopened my mind and prompted me to dream of traveling to long lost times andbeing a part of different worlds. As I grew up, I realized that dream wasimpossible. VEGA is, in a way, my rebellion. After gaining my Bachelor of Artsin History from Utah Valley Universityand learning even more about the times I yearned to be a part of, I decidedthat if I wanted a world in which I could time travel to exist, I needed tocreate it.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

J.K.

VEGA

Normally the last place I would want to be at 8 AM on a Saturdaymorning was at school, but here I was. The cafeteria was not as stuffy andstale as usual. The smell of yesterday’s tacos was still lingering, but at leastit was a less nauseating smell. It took a back seat to the hope that could befelt in the air; it was almost tangible. There were fewer tables than normal,and they were all pushed along the periphery of the square-shaped cafeteria. Thecollege reps sat against the wall so that the students could gather on theother side of the tables.

It was the annual college fair, and Principal Mayner had talkedit up so much that I was actually kind of excited to be there. James Adams High School had not onlyreceived the highest test scores in the state this year, but we also had astate championship football team. That kind of prestige brought in lots ofinterest from the surrounding universities and colleges. My parents and in turnI had always assumed I would go to Boise State like both of my parents did, butnow the idea of not following in their footsteps, seemed rather appealing.

I didn’t notice that my best friend Jenna had come up besideme and she startled me when she said, “I still can’t believe you dragged me hereon a Saturday morning. What’s the point anyway?”

An Agent's Inbox #19

2011-12-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

I am pleased to submit for your consideration the youngadult novel, THE SPARK. At 81,500 words this fantasy combines astrological andastronomical elements, but rooted in the modern world. When seventeen year oldEllie Hawkins wishes that the printed words in her favorite novel become real,sparks fly between her and otherworldly, Elan Channing, but danger accompaniestheir romance and they must fight dark forces to preserve their love andultimately save the world.

After Ellie moves to a new school in a small New England town, she finds escape from her loneliness inbooks, dreaming of a life filled with the adventure and romance found withinthe pages. On her birthday she unwraps the newest release by her favoriteauthor which promises to provide her with hours of fun filled fantasy. As Ellieblows out the candles on her cupcakes, she wishes the fantasy she holds in herhands would become real. In the moment the last flame darkens she setssomething in motion that turns her world upside down, inviting the cosmicforces of the Celestial Pantheon and the love of exchange student Elan. AsEllie’s life starts to display shocking parallels to the novel she discoversElan is not an ordinary teenager, but a member of Celestial House Polaris.Along with romance, Elan ushers with him danger. Entwined in their story isLucien, mysterious, sinister and a member of rival Celestial House Cruxis. Heis determined to go to any length to diminish and destroy the Spark, the lightwithin, that unites Ellie and Elan.

As fact and fiction intersect; Ellie’s life takes unexpectedturns that not even she, the most imaginative of dreamers, can foresee. Ellieembarks upon a journey to find out who she really is and the role she plays inthe celestial fantasy that had appeared only to be ink on paper. Pursued byLucien, she faces dangers that could bring the world to an explosive end.

Pasted below are the first two-hundred and fifty words. Ilook forward to hearing from you, reading the comments and thank you for yourtime and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,
D.H.

THE SPARK

The phone rang unwillingly pulling me from a juicy dream. Ianswered groggily.

“Good morning,” Lily, my endearingly chipper best friend,trilled.

“Morning,” I replied with less enthusiasm. Not good, butblah, another blah day in a blah town.

She got right to the point, “So last night while you weretucked in with three hundred and fifty pages of inky fantasy, I was at a partyon the riverbank.” That explained the noise I heard in the distance late lastnight.

“Kyle was there, oh Ellie,” her tempo slowed as if inreverie, “he’s so cute and I think he might…” Her words faded as I wonderedwith alarm when did Lily become interested in parties and guys? Had she contractedsomething during her vacation to Niagara Falls? She and I bonded specifically because we had nointerest in all that lameness.

Her voice bounced back to me. “We were hanging out aroundthe fire and a car was speeding down the dirt road. It came to a sudden stopand this wicked hot guy, who I’d never seen before, got out,” she paused foreffect, “he asked if any of us knew Eleanor Hawkins.” I squirmed as she said myfull name.

“I walked right up to him and said, ‘Who wants to know?’ Heglared at me, spit on the ground and then he got back in his car and sped offsending sand flying everywhere, a very dramatic exit. So who is this mysteryman Ellie?”

An Agent's Inbox #18

2011-12-21T08:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent,

Bo Wolf is not your average bully slaying eleven-year-old.Sure, his arms look like flexi-straws, and other kids tell him to go back tohis home on Dweeb Island, but Bo doesn'tcare. With his mad fencing skills and soon-to-be smoking good looks, he'sconvinced he's on the road to awesomeness.

After impressing a schoolyard gang by defeating their leaderin a broomstick combat, Bo agrees to help them take on the meanest and ugliestbully known to middle school--Grendul--who's taken the playground jungle gym forhis own.

However, when Bo puts the smackdown on Grendul, he finds amuch more powerful adversary in the bully's mom, the school lunch lady. Angeredby her precious son's defeat, the lunch lady, who's actually a witch, plots topoison the entire school with her irresistible gingersnaps. But with the helpof a spunky girl named Reagan, Bo discovers the witch's diabolical plan.

In his attempt to stop her, Bo befriends a drocket (a dragonthat shrinks to fit in your pocket) that's been enslaved by the witch's darkmagic. Bo must face his doubts and embark on a rescue mission with the drocketto save the middle school from an imminent cafeteria-induced death.

Complete at 36,000 words, I'm Here to Save Your Day--TheAdventures of Bo Wolf is a middle grade humorous/adventure and a modern versionof the epic poem, Beowulf, set within the tumultuous battlefields of the middleschool playground.

Thank you so much for your time. I look forward to hearingfrom you. The entire manuscript is available at your request.

Warm Regards,
J.L.

I’M HERE TO SAVE YOUR DAY--THE ADVENTURES OF BO WOLF

I hated first days.

I turned toward my mom with big glossy eyes behind myglasses, (well, one eye actually. Yeah, I wear an eye-patch, so what?)

“Just one more day,”I pleaded. “Please, Mom? Don’t make me suffer.”

"Give it up, Bo. You’ll have to go to schooleventually, might as well be today. Now, you don't want to be late. It's goodto be prompt and make a good impression."

She always insisted I be on time. Ugh.

"But, Mom," I said, "school doesn't startuntil eight. It's only seven-thirty."

She smiled and leaned over, giving me a big mom hug."You need to sign in at the Administrations Office. They're expectingyou." She paused, tapping her lip with a purple painted fingernail."Well, maybe I should go with you. You might need some help signingin." She took off her seatbelt.

"No, I got this," I said. "I'll be fine,Mom."

She smiled. "All right, I'll see you at two-fifteen.Good luck, honey. Go get 'em."

She kissed me on the cheek and I looked around frantically,hoping no one saw what very well could've been my imminent downfall before eversetting foot at my new school. How was my coolness bound to spread if my momwas giving me kisses in the open?

An Agent's Inbox #17

2011-12-21T08:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

Lia Lewiston hasn’t had a peaceful night’s sleep since shewas orphaned as a child. Chased through the woods by a hunter and his ruby-hiltedknife, she believes her nightmares are the product of her tragic past--untilshe meets Colson Vane.

Now, Lia doesn’t know what to believe. At night he kills herin her dreams, but by day Colson becomes the one person she connects with themost. Drawn to him, she longs to reveal the truth about herself--about the familyof exotic pets she was given at her christening. The rambunctious and adoringpixies who each presented her with a gift: music, wit, dance, grace, song, andbeauty. But these are secrets she can never tell; not to someone she knows iskeeping secrets from her. When the terrifying queen of the faeries appears inher dreams, Lia’s beliefs are again changed. Because the truth about why thehunter kills her night after night is worse than she imagined. Doomed to die onher sixteenth birthday, to keep a faery prophecy from coming true, Lia now has tofight for her life or the danger of her nightmare will become the reality shefeared.

SLEEP, a YA romantic suspense retelling of Perrault’s SleepingBeauty tale, is complete at 72,000 words. While intended to be first in a fairytale quartet, SLEEP is a stand alone novel.

Sincerely,
M.H.

SLEEP

I see the black clouds first, puffing from the trees andtrailing up like wispy smoke. My palms prickle, because I know what happens next.He’s coming. Same as he has in a thousand other unchanging dreams.

A shiver bristles from the base of my spine to the top of myscalp as trees beckon with pointy fingers. I keep my gaze forward. Pretend notto notice their hollowed eyes in burl faces. Their wide grinning mouths as theyreach for me. I need to run but I’m rooted in the middle of a gravel road. Thecrooked sign ahead must be some kind of subconscious joke. CAUTION, it warns.As if I need the warning.

My stomach jumps to my throat when I hear it--the crunchingof gravel paces ahead.

Crunch. He movescloser.

Crunch. Closer still.

Crunch.

The hunter moves into sight, fingers clenched white aroundthe ruby encrusted hilt of his knife. My heart bursts, screaming for me to run,and when my feet pull free of the road, I whip around and pitch forward. Thegrinding behind me signals the chase is on. I’m fast, flying down the road, andeven though I know what happens next, I pray that maybe, just maybe, this timemy dream will change.

But the hunter is faster than me. He reaches out, grabs myarm. Hooks my leg with his foot and I fall face first. Then he is on me, breathwarm on my neck.

An Agent's Inbox #16

2011-12-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Awesome Agent,

It’s present-day America, and after being weakenedby countless natural disasters, our country opens its airspace for aid. Insteadof the much-needed salvation from our allies, what is left of the devastatedwest coast finds itself nearly obliterated from above. No one knows how or why,but Americais under attack.

Following the first round of air raids, Dr. Rachel Parkerloses her beloved husband, Andy, in a house fire as they escape with theirchildren to the nearby Rocky Mountains. Inrefuge, she’s thrust into depending on her husband’s best friend, Joshua Hughesfor comfort and protection. Amidst her pain, Rachel can’t face Josh’s ill-harboredfeelings for her, nor her own confused desires.

High school senior, Tom Mason has spent the last few yearsterror free, thanks to Dr. Parker. Between his skill at HAM radio and afterhaving been raised by conspiracy theorists, Tom is prepared to hide from thesefaceless attackers, and even manages to save the teenaged Jenny, who captureshis attention for more than just being the lone survivor at a campsite.

Rachel’s sister, Brenda Krous escapes a fallen city withnothing but the clothes on her back, and is quickly captured by the unnamedenemies. Terrified and alone, Brenda is protected by the enigmatic DanielBastian even while he helps to hold her captive. Brenda soon discoversinformation about her sister’s psychology work for the government that couldspin the free world into a tumultuous frenzy where the unknown is safer thanreality.

Into the End is a heart-pumping, action packed apocalypticromance I can provide to you in full, per your request. It boasts 90K words,and is the first in a three book series that is sure to capture not only yourheart, but also poses the question: Can love survive the end of the world as weknow it?

Sincerely,
B.R.P.

INTO THE END

The end of the world had come.

Finally.

Rachel hadn’t had a solid night’s sleep in twenty-threemonths, three weeks and two days. An hour, maybe two a night for the last twoyears. Twenty-four hour news flickered on the TV.

Crisp May air breezed through the open windows. Racheltucked the blanket tighter under her chin and readjusted her legs on the couchcushions. Restless leg syndrome would be a perfect excuse for hersleeplessness, but couldn’t be further from the truth. Her legs weren’trestless. She was.

The news anchor returned from commercial. Rachel turned upthe volume. A squared picture flashed of burning buildings and gaping crevices.The older woman on screen sighed, weariness covering her lack of surprise.“Another earthquake in the string of disasters to the west coast struck an hourago in Ellensburg, Washington. The Washington coastline has now been decimatedto the middle of the state. Experts project a following tsunami to the newislands created from the Cascade mountainsshould manifest in the next few hours.”

Ellensburg? Mere hours away. Andy had been right.

The camera shifted to the man who shuffled paper. Liftingeyes desensitized to the horrors from recent days, he continued below a newpopup screen. “In other news, after almost ten years of closed, high securityairspace, the president has released a statement declaring that the airspaceover the States is now open. He has asked for requested assistance from othercountries.

An Agent's Inbox #15

2011-12-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

Ash has landed in Southeast Asiato begin an exciting, high-stakes job. He’s young and inexperienced, but hisnew employer sought out and recruited him because of one importantqualification--Ash is suicidal.

As it was explained to him, Ash will be the real driver ofan armed robotic vehicle that’s supposed to be completely unmanned andautonomous. His new employer, the company that makes and operates the robots,oversold their abilities to a foreign military customer, and now they need alittle supplemental intelligence for their artificial intelligence.

Robots do the jobs people shouldn’t. In warfare, that meansthe jobs that’ll get you killed. This will be Ash’s last suicide attempt. He’scommitted and literally locked into it. It’s too late for second-guessing. Ashdoesn’t want to feel hope, especially not because of Zephyr, another doomeddriver.

But Ash just isn’t any good at dying. He feels worse thanever after surviving his first op while the other drivers died.

Then Zephyr also survives, and things start to change. AsAsh gets to know her, he decides if anyone comes out alive, it should be her.

She feels differently. Just the opposite, in fact. She wantsAsh to live. She understands him. She really cares, even though she doesn’thave to. There were so many reasons to die, but one reason to live mightoverrule them all.

Unfortunately, their employer won’t let either of them walkaway. He’d rather see them die than lose his job. They know too much.

One reason to live is all Ash needs. Actually escaping is alot more complicated.

DRIVERS is a psychological thriller, complete at 79,000words.

Sincerely,
B.S.

DRIVERS

I don’t exist anymore. Not as a real person, anyway. I’mmore like cargo. Expensive cargo, with my own guard and a corporate jet. Thesteps down to the tarmac are steep but sturdy. The sky arches overhead, splashedwith clouds. A city squats nearby, skyscrapers reaching. And the air smellsforeign.

I’m not a prisoner, exactly. I’m an employee. My first dayon the job has been everything they promised--exciting, new, well-paying. Mylast day on the job is less than a week away, though they’re not certainexactly when. That’s too bad, because I’d really like to know when I’m going todie. Mostly, I just want to get through the days until then.

My guard hands a passport to another man who must be airportsecurity. “Ash Palmer,” he mutters, glancing up at me. I guess it’s mypassport. This ain’t normal airport security. There’s no metal detector, nocustoms, not even a desk. Just the one guy who writes something in a book anddoesn’t bother stamping passports.

There were four of us on the plane, each with his--or her--ownguard. Mine looks like Yul Brynner. Bald, sharp jaw line, intense manner. Hecollects the passports of the two recruits who went through security first,drops them into a small vinyl pouch with mine, and waits for the girl behindme.

She’s the only girl. The guards, security guy, and the otherrecruits are all men. I suppose that applies to me as well, though I’m stillmore comfortable with “boy.” And she looks about my age--college dropout age.Old enough to buy a drink or die for her country, but too young to be takenseriously.

An Agent's Inbox #14

2011-12-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Mystery Agent,

Reddos can answer any question in the world--at least theycould until seventeen-year-old Sophie Rowan’s simple question stumps them.

When Sophie helps new-boy-at-school Hugh Kedoa, Hugh revealsthat he’s a Reddo, a human who possesses infinite knowledge and offers fiveanswers to those who help him. According to Hugh, a Reddo can only access thatknowledge by giving answers. But when hopeless romantic Sophie asks if she hasa true love, Hugh draws a blank.

So much for infinite knowledge.

Sophie’s search for her answer leads to an unexpectedfriendship with Hugh’s family. They confess that a power-hungry businessmanwith a vendetta is hunting them. He learned how to kill Reddos and take theirmost dangerous ability for himself. If he tracks down the Kedoas, Sophie’s truelove dilemma is going to be the least of her problems. The enemy hates otheroutsiders involved in the Reddos’ world more than anything.

Now Sophie has to figure out how to protect herself from apsycho, why Hugh couldn’t answer her question, all the while becoming moreaware that she’s probably too involved in the Kedoas’ lives. But she would ratherput herself in the enemy’s crosshairs, or even sacrifice her answers, thanabandon them.

Turns those might be the only ways to save them.

UNANSWERED is my 85,000 word YA urban fantasy with strongseries potential. Thank you for judging the Agent’s Inbox contest!

Best Wishes,
A.D.S.

UNANSWERED

Sophie slipped and crashed to the ground, tucking her chininto her shoulder to save her eyes from the spray of muck. The downpourexploded puddle water into her face anyway.

All evening she had treaded the slick trails like walking atightrope, and now because of one measly lack of concentration she was coveredin mud.

She pried away a strand of damp hair plastered to her face.Her hand froze in midair, and her eyes locked on the shadow the limb cast overthe trail’s edge.

Boot prints.Sophie knew better than anyone that these prints meant someone had left theclearly-marked trails at Ellery Wildlife Preserve. After all, she spent most ofher day tracking down the rule-breakers, the ones that somehow couldn’tunderstand what the big WALK ONLY ON THE TRAILS signs meant.

But this was different. These impressions originated at theedge of the path and trailed away, disappearing into the green-tinged fog thathad swallowed the forest. Sophie’s fingertips skimmed across the indents thefaint zigzag tread had left. She leaned back on her knees and frowned at themud.

Footprints couldn’t start at the edge of a trail, unlesstheir owner had dropped out of the sky into the forest. And Sophie hadpersonally made sure that all the visitors left an hour ago, when the preserveclosed to everyone but the preservation crew.

These prints meant someone had broken the law to get intoEllery.

An Agent's Inbox #13

2011-12-21T08:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent,

Oddly, for Mike Fitzroy, it's trying to avoid the popularcrowd that gets him into trouble.

To Mike, St. Brigid High, despite its elite reputation, wasjust another stop on a long, wandering road. He figured it wouldn't be anydifferent from any of the others he's been in and out of over the years.

Boy, did he call that one wrong.

Initially offered a chance to join the in-crowd, Mikeinstead falls for the wrong girl (twice), makes the wrong friends (the Lepers)and ends up on the wrong side of Lee (the sophomore class's golden boy and leadbada**). And all because Mike breaks his own rules--head down, don't getinvolved, and wait 'til Dad moves the family again. Caring makes lifecomplicated.

But when Lee and his Six Stooges start pushing, Mike can'tpush back. He made a promise--no more fighting. The last time cost way toomuch.

So now he's stuck. Defend himself and his friends bybreaking his word or give up, take the beating and try to go back to followinghis rules? Can he live with either choice?

WELCOME TO THE LEPER COLONY, a contemporary YA novel, iscomplete at 94,000 words. It can work as a standalone novel, but is meant to bethe first in a six book series.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
P.O.

WELCOME TO THE LEPER COLONY

Chapter 1: At Least the Natives Are Friendly…

Some days just aren’t worth waking up for. High school seemsto have a lot of them.

“Hey, Snowbird, think fast!”

Like today.

There's the soft thump of shoe-on-soccer ball, followed by aloud whistle of air. And from the Doppler shift of the whistle, it's headingright for me.

I glance up from my book and lean right. The ball hurtlespast my head, ricochets off the palm tree behind me, and flies back.

Looks like their aim'simproving, if not their hospitality.

The ball clips the top of the low retaining wall in front ofme (the one that marks the drop-off to the main field where the rest of theherd roams), angles up enough to hit one of the goons in the chest, staggeringhim back.

I go back to my reading as whichever one it hit yells,“You're dead, loser.”

Don’t they ever get tired of this? Apparently not.

“Nice moves, Snowbird.” Sounds like Lee, the local King Bada**,at least for the sophomore class. And since this is the underclassman’s lunch,that seems to make him the big dog here.

But if Lee’s offering even sarcastic compliments, I guess itdidn’t hit one of his boys.

More’s the pity. No,I'm not going there any more. Better to just let it go. Too bad. Whatever, it’s too hot anyway.

An Agent's Inbox #12

2011-12-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

Precocious Patty may be hearing impaired, but the child canstill hear. And the topic is usually about her notorious family, about her."Odd ducks," "one straw short of a haystack," those are thenicer observations. We won't mention the cruel ones. The truth is they arenaïve. They are uncivilized. They are an Oklahomafamily adjusting to 1970s Californiaculture shock (shocking the culture, is more like it). Meet the Austens.

The family of six moves frequently, into both the L.A. ‘hoods and thebarrios with less than spectacular results. When they move to an affluent townup the coast, Patty thinks settling among her own race is the answer toconformity. Not so. In scenes best described as Beverly Hillbillies Gone Bad,her family's unsophisticated ways clash with old-money privilege. And Patty'swell-earned spot in regular schools is about to unravel when her pretentiousteacher uses her hearing impairment as an excuse to get rid of her.

The narrator is adult Patty who, while in the hospital afterback surgery, believes she's landed in the very place that accepts her--thepsych ward.

In order to convince the counselor by her bedside that shemight be weird and not crazy, she divulges life in the Austen household.Unfortunately, for Patty, confession may be good for the soul, but lousy fortalking her way out of the psych ward.

PSYCH WARD, aspotlight of my achievements, commercial fiction (99,000 words) is about atight but dysfunctional family, adversity, and some crazy animals. Think"The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" meets "ForrestGump."

This novel reflects my own experiences growing up hearingimpaired and has enabled me to write with authenticity about my protagonist.I've had numerous publications in various print and web magazines, includingexcerpts of my novel.

Thank you for your consideration.

T.S.

PSYCH WARD, a spotlight of my achievements

Maybe it was our vehicles still in the driveway Sundaymornings, or our Southern accents, or my eleven-year-old brother Eddie diggingin the trash and peeing in the hedges, or maybe it was our pigeon trapped inher hair, but the neighbor at our door had all the look and mannerisms ofsomeone who wasn't here for a social visit.

"Get it off," was what she said when I opened thedoor.

I stared at her, better not approach it.

"The dirty bird." She flailed her arms. "Getit off."

Before I could make any moves in her direction, our dogDorky bounded out of the house and jumped and ran circles around her as if shewere playing keep away with the bird. Gerber flapped his wings for balance,peered below at Dorky, and did a pigeon equivalent of a ha-ha-you-can't-get-mesquawk.

The lady squawked, too, and Dorky barked. And jumped. Gerberflapped his wings. The lady flapped her arms. The lady jumped, flapped,squawked, barked and ran in circles, and I thought it was funny and slapped myknee and laughed. The lady did not mimic any of my motions. What a letdown.

"Who is it, Patty?"

I didn't answer; I didn't want to interrupt the show. Mamacame to the door exasperated and apologetic and shooed the bird away. Dorky ranoff after it. The lady demanded to talk to our mother. Mama shook her head andsighed deeply.

"You're the mother?" the lady spat. "Nowonder."

An Agent's Inbox #11

2011-12-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

Eleven-year-old Isaac Sanchez hasn’t exactly had an idealchildhood. His father died before he was born. His mother left him with hisgrandparents when she remarried, and he hasn’t seen her since. He is small,practically friendless, and bullied, but he is also smart, self-reliant, andhas never lost his sense of humor. When his mother comes back into his life andbegs for another chance, he is forced to start again in a new city with his mother and two half-sisterswhom he has never met.

Luckily, he has help in the form of an old copy of IsaacNewton’s Principia Mathematica. Isaacfinds hope within the pages of Principiawhen he realizes that his life is eerily similar to Newton’s. Believing that he has found hisdestiny, he decides to follow in Newton’sfootsteps in every way possible. The lessons he learns--of projectiles, petmice, and especially people--enable him to come into his own and find his realplace in the universe.

I am seeking representation for DISCOVERING ISAAC (30,000words), my contemporary middle-grade novel about finding the courage to chooseone’s course in life. Although secondary to the characters and plot,DISCOVERING ISAAC contains sneaky lessons on physics, history, biology, andliving with little sisters, as well as epigraphs from the endlessly-quotableIsaac Newton.

My semi-relevant publications include a story in thechildren’s magazine The Friend(February 2011) and a collaboration with Ally Condie (The Moms’ Club Diaries, Spring Creek Book Company, 2008. It didn’tsell quite as many copies as Matched.)As for irrelevant publications, I am the author of several papers in some ofthe nation’s top chemistry journals and a 200-page doctoral thesis onmolecule-based magnets. (It’s as riveting as it sounds.) You can rest assured,however, that the science in my manuscript is sound.

Thank you for your time and your consideration. I lookforward to hearing from you and would be happy to send more at your request.

Sincerely,
E.V.

DISCOVERING ISAAC

Isaac Newton: “For thenatural days are truly unequal, though they are commonly considered as equal,and used for a measure of time…”

Isaac Sanchez: People may tell you that all days are equal. Thosepeople are wrong.

It’s not often that a kid can tell you what was the worstday of his life. Or the best day, for that matter. Sure, we can all name someincredibly rotten days (like the one where this story begins) and some prettygreat ones (like when Grandpa took me camping and I caught five fish androasted thirty-six marshmallows).

For most kids, though, the absolute worst or best day isharder to decide. But not for me. I can tell you without a doubt what was theworst day of my life, and I can also tell you that without that worst day, thebest day of my life may never have happened. And without a famous scientist, anold book, and a couple of rodents, I might have totally missed out on my realplace in the universe.

But that’s already confusing. Let’s start it nice and simple.I hate baseball. I hate the silly stirrup pants. I hate the way the bat almostrips my arms out of their sockets when I swing and miss. I hate the cold fearthat runs through my body because I’m scared of being hit by Every. Single.Pitch.

An Agent's Inbox #10

2011-12-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

Fifteen-year-old Samantha Young has nowhere to go when herfather, a Chinaman, perishes in a blaze that consumes their dry goods store andleaves her an orphan. So when the richest man in St. Joseph, Missouri,offers her lodging in his hotel, she takes it. Only it’s not a hotel, it’s abrothel.

When he attempts to test out the goods, she bashes him witha scrubbing brush. Now she faces the noose. The law in 1849 will not side witha Chinese girl, even if she killed in self-defense.

She flees west with Annamae, a runaway slave. They disguise themselvesas young men and join a trio of cowboys bound for the California gold rush.

Samantha’s father died before explaining why he gave his westward-boundbusiness partner her mother’s jade bracelet. If Samantha can keep up the boyact, not easy for the demure and somewhat squeamish violinist, she might avoidcapture long enough recover the only thing that remains of her family. Maybeeven discover why her Father wanted to move them out to barren California. But when shefalls in love with one of the cowboys, the act begins to crumble.

GOLDEN BOYS is an 80,000 word historical YA novel thatfollows Samantha’s journey from girl to adult (with a stint as a boy) through thefrontier of a changing society.

Sincerely,
S.L.

GOLDEN BOYS

They say death aims only once and never misses, but I doubtTy Yorkshire thought it would strike with a scrubbing brush. Now his face wearsthe mask of surprise that sometimes appears at the end: his eyes bulge likequail eggs, his mouth curves around a profanity.

The brush is fused to my hand and I shake it several timesbefore it drops. It clatters beside the dead man’s head.

I shiver in my nakedness and notice the blood speckling myarm. Reality begins to smother me as the grandfather clock tolls ten. Does killinga man who tries to assault me count as murder? For me, it probably does.

The law in Missouri,in 1849, does not side with a Chinaman’s daughter, even if my Father died in afire just this afternoon...

9 a.m. I strap my violin across my back then heft the pinkconch shell, the one from the curiosity shop in New York. Father listens to it every nightso he can hear the Pacific Ocean. I set itback down harder than I should.

I pass through our tiny living space to the shop in front. Father’scutting fat quarters from the calico, his scissors snipping in precise increments.

The wood floor creaks as I sweep by the sacks of coffee andtea stamped with the word “Whistle.” Father does not look up from his work. WhenI reach the wooden spoons, he says, “Don’t forget your shawl.”

I slow and consider going without so I don’t ruin my exit. Butit wouldn’t be proper.

An Agent's Inbox #9

2011-12-21T08:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Mystery Agent,

Rydan is the only one of his people with the ability to wieldmagic. He’s treated like a god, a prince, cherished for his talent to bend thefabric of the universe to his will. In the war against the Liasam, he is theirultimate weapon.

On the other side of the battlefield, Akara attempts to counterRydan’s power with magic she knows little about. Her people hold her captive,forcing her to use a gift only she is able to command. When Akara succumbs toRydan’s mastery, her side loses, and she is sentenced to death as a symbol of theend of war.

If there’s only one death after the slaughter on the battlefield,Rydan can live with that. Until he discovers Akara has the same symbol as he,tattooed on the back of her neck. Knowing hidden truths will die with her, hethrows away his status as his people’s golden boy and saves Akara from herpublic execution.

Finding out who they are does more than curb curiosity. It burdensthem with the responsibility of saving a world which is literally crumbling undertheir feet. Rydan desires to be the hero again, lofted high in praise on theshoulders of his people. He begs Akara to help him in the quest.

But Akara doesn’t believe there is anyone in the world worthsaving.

FRACTION OF STONE is YA Fantasy complete at 65,000 words.Readers who relished in the lyrical writing of Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smokeand Bone and immersed themselves in the contrasting world views of June and Dayin Marie Lu’s Legend will find themselves drawn to this tale. A complete manuscriptis available upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration and I look forwardto hearing from you.

K.L.

FRACTION OF STONE

The chains around her wrists jingled, echoing off the stonewalls, a cheery sound out of place. If she closed her eyes and moved her armsagain it would seem as though she were listening to a wind chime, twittering inthe breeze. But the cold metal was not a wind chime. It was a tether, a leash,holding her captive in the belly of her city.

She could have called it her room, for it was where sheslept, where she ate. The situation would seem more bleak once the drugs woreoff, sending her into a depression of why she even bothered to live.

She had no choice, that’s why. They needed her and refusedto let her die. They kept her down there in an almost comatose state until itwas time for her to work her magic.

Literally.

The cell swayed and whirled, like a small boat in the ocean.A state she was so used to it felt more real than normal. She never smiled,that had been stolen long ago. But if she did it would be in this dreamlikeexistence.

Scraping of the heavy wooden door down the hall caused herhead to float up, searching for the person among the sea of swirling colors.The large blur was who she expected and though she knew she should feelsomething, she was unable to summon emotion.

“It is time again, girl. Your people need you.”

An Agent's Inbox #8

2011-12-21T08:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Mystery Agent:

I submit for your consideration my work, BLOOD WAR, an urbanfantasy work of approximately 104,000 words.

In the eighty years since the Great Awakening, humans andnon-humans have lived side by side, relatively at peace. That threatens to comescreeching to a halt when bodies start turning up. The attacks all bear astriking resemblance to those made by the Aristocrats, vampires who terrorized Europe centuries ago. In an attack that leaves his wifeof almost five hundred years dead, and permanently scars him, Jordan MacNaughtis caught up in the opening salvo of a war meant to turn the other racesagainst the vampires. He knows beyond a doubt that the vampires of yesteryearare not involved in the current attacks. They're all dead, except for him.

Chris Javert has just learned about several bodies found in America when Jordan turns up in her living roomexpecting her help in hunting those who murdered his wife and threaten to usurpthe memory of his glory days. She's no stranger to hunting vampires. After all,she nearly destroyed Jordanwhen she ended the reign of his Aristocrats in Europetwo hundred years ago.

Barely convinced of his innocence, but determined not to letthe interspecies peace she helped foster die, Chris joins forces with the manwho once tried to kill her. At, er, stake? Peace, and very likely thewell-being of vampires. Humans barely tolerate them now, but if these murdersdon't stop, it will become open hunting on them once more.

Blood War is intended to be part of my series, tentativelytitled The Dream-Walker War. I believe fans of Laurel K. Hamilton's earlierAnita Blake books and Kim Harrison's Hollows series will find a great deal tolove in my work.

Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
T.M.

BLOOD WAR

Ares dumped the third body on the sidewalk. Music from thenightclub a block away pulsed through the balmy night. Even though he was soclose to a large number of people, the vicinity immediately around him wasdeserted. He’d broken the streetlamp above two days earlier and the city hadn’tgotten around to fixing it yet, as expected, giving him the cover of darkness.

The woman, he never caught her name, stared up at him, shockstill clear in her dark brown, cow-like eyes. She’d been a fighter, that one.Bruises covered her wrists and ankles, the wounds so rare to find on a vampire.The quad responsible for her capture and death had been brutal with her.

He didn’t approve of rape, even in the war he wanted tostart, but he gave his people a free hand, as long as they accomplished thegoals he set before them. The quad here in Tampa seemed to glory in the torture side ofthings.

Aware he wouldn’t have long before someone came upon thescene, he crouched and studied all three bodies. Though most of the injuriesvaried from corpse to corpse, they shared two specific ones. The death blow oneach came in the form of near decapitation. The heads weren’t off, held to thebodies by only a small sliver of flesh.

Ares smiled, looking at the second wound in common each ofthe three bodies carried: a quadruple claw gouge from right hip to leftshoulder.

An Agent's Inbox #7

2011-12-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent:

Jimmy Holiday never really believed in demons, not evenbefore he was defrocked. Now that his collar is a thing of the past, the lastthing he expects is an old friend to beg for his help with an alleged case ofpossession.

Jimmy heads for his old friend's house--that is, hauntedmansion straight out of Flowers in the Attic--to see his little girl. Lucy'sill and looks abused, but Jimmy's not about to fall for the old line: "Thedemon made her hurt herself." Until a witch he knows is unable to ward theattic room. Until Lucy exhibits every single sign of true possession: speakingin languages she could not know, finding lost objects, and exhibiting strengthunusual for her size. Until the choice is get back into harness or Lucy dies.

Jimmy knows the ceremony, but it's belief that matters. Andif a demon is using a little girl as a meatsuit, his faith had better be strongenough to kick it back to Hell. Otherwise, he might damn them both.

SORROW’S POINT is a 75,500 word Urban Fantasy.

In February 2010, my short story, “Papap’s Teeth” waspublished by Dailey Swan Publishing.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

D.D.

SORROW’S POINT

1950

“Sheriff?”

Sheriff O’Dell popped his head out of his office. His wavywhite hair seemed like a halo to Mable.

“Whatcha need, Mable?”

Mable patted her coiffed brown hair and got up from herdesk. She smoothed her skirt over her hips that were a little too large for herframe. Although she didn’t think she looked all that bad, she couldn’t help befeel subconscious around the sheriff. She walked into his office and handed hima pink message slip.

“Doris McClusky’s been calling all afternoon,” she said.“Guess there’s a disturbance up at Blackmoor.”

The good sheriff took the slip and thought for a moment.“Old Doris calls about once a week about Blackmoor.”

Mable put her hands on her hips. “Well, Dorissays this time is different. She says she heard a scream.”

O’Dell sighed. “Guess I better mozy on out there.”

“Guess you better,” she said.

#

O’Dell drove up the hill towards Blackmoor. What was left ofhis hair was blowing in the wind. It was just too d*** hot to have the windowsup. With the extra weight he’d put on over the last few years, summer seemedhotter somehow, but it’d been an unusually hot summer. He’d lost count theamount of times he had to yell at kids for messing with the fire hydrants.

O’Dell pulled into the drive of Blackmoor and parked thecar. He looked up at the monstrosity before getting out of the car.

An Agent's Inbox #6

2011-12-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

Dear The Agent,

Sixteen-year-old Tabby Weber doesn’t want to murder anyone,but in Griffin Kessler’s case she’s willing to make an exception.

In the year 2018, nineteen-year-old science prodigy GriffinKessler created a virus that nearly wiped out the human race. A decade later,dictator Alexander Zika keeps survivors imprisoned in concentration camps whilebrutal gangs roam the deserted cities. Tabby, her siblings, and her bestfriend, Murphy, live in hiding while they complete her father’s time machine.Their goal is simple: travel back in time and kill Kessler before he can finishhis virus.

When Tabby and Murphy return to 2018, Tabby falls quicklyfor Kessler, who’s smart, sexy, and as desperate to protect the virus from Zikaas she is. As Tabby’s relationship with Kessler heats up, Murphy confesses hisown feelings for her. But Tabby’s love life is the least of her worries. WithMurphy still determined to kill Kessler, she doesn’t know how to stop him, orif she even should.

KILLING KESSLER, a YA science fiction novel, is complete at60,000 words. With a strong heroine and healthy doses of adventure and romance,I believe KILLING KESSLER will appeal to fans of Suzanne Collins’s THE HUNGERGAMES and James Patterson’s MAXIMUM RIDE series.

Sincerely,
S.F.

KILLING KESSLER

Our hiding spot is less than ten feet from the boy. Anoverhead floodlight blazes against the predawn sky, so bright I see the sweatfalling from his hair and the clumps of dirt on his shovel. He has stubble onhis jaw and a muscular chest and arms, but he looks young, maybe sixteen likeme.

I glance at Leila. My sister’s over-glossed lips arestretched into a wide smile, her brown eyes even bigger than normal. I reachout to her with my mind. Forget it,Leila, I think. He’s locked in theVillage.

We’re watching him through the witch hazel bushes outsidethe Village fence. The electric fence, twenty feet of razor wire crowned withanother five feet of spiked coils, surrounds Pitman Air Force Base. The basewas once the heart of Wexler Falls, until AlexanderZika’s henchmen transformed it into the concentration camp we know as theVillage.

Leila’s expression doesn’t change, but I know she heard me.We can shut off our thoughts as easily as closing our eyes, but if she wereblocking me out, I would feel it.

Seriously, it’s notlike he’s going to break out of there and take you on a date, I add. Leilaknows this, of course, but that won’t stop her from doing something stupid. Sheturned fourteen last month, and all she thinks about is boys. I work a heavydose of exasperation into my tone, but the truth is, I feel bad for her.

An Agent's Inbox #5

2011-12-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent,

Nineteen-year-old Warren King has been protecting hisbrother from bullies ever since he decided to wear a top hat to the thirdgrade. So when his brother is kidnapped, Warrenheads out to bust some faces. But Warrendidn’t expect the bully to be the King of the Texas Empire. Warrenlearns that he and his brother are some of the last members of the Texas royal family, inother words, the descendants of some seriously bad dudes. Now the new King ishunting down his relatives before the true heir decides to say, “Hey man,you’re in my seat."

Warrenmust save his brother and avoid capture himself all while dealing with asupernatural energy that gives him access to his ancestors’ violent memories. Thisenergy doesn’t add to his charm when he meets the first girl that ever made himwant to do things like iron creases in his pants. She’s ready to help him takeon the King, but since she’s an anti-monarchy activist dating the son of thePresident of the United States, he’s not sure if she’s going to kisshim or shoot him. Gone are the days when choosing a major was a big deal. Nowhe must embark into a West that stayed wild and choose to be King, follow aKing, or die before he can retire his fake ID.

THE CHARGE is a 75,000 word upper young adult science fictionnovel set in an alternate timeline where a dictator took over the Republic of Texas in 1836 and built his own empirein the West. I am a member of the Texas Writer’s Guild, She Writes, and YaLitChatand have been published in small press literary magazines such as Nerve Cowboy.

Sincerely,
S.B.

THE CHARGE

Warren’smother had taped his old Star Wars comforter over the patio door of theirapartment. He didn’t pause too long to wonder why. His mother suffered fromwhat his brother called, “severe eccentricity,” and blacking out the windowswith old sheets for no obvious reason wasn’t out of character. All in all, shehad done better than he had expected in her first year with both of her sonsout of the house. Just in case that didn’t last, Warren always came back home when she askedhim too. But if she had called him because she had forgotten how to use thedishwasher again, he was heading right back to campus to enjoy the day afterfinals the way it was intended to be enjoyed--drunk and poolside.

He wiped his feet like he had been taught even though theirrevolting brown carpeting didn’t show much. He kind of missed the crappiness oftheir apartment, although he didn’t know why because his new apartment in Eugene was equally ascrappy. Still, there was something about the smell of the pine trees in thecourtyard and apartment pool chlorine that let Warren know that he was home.

His mother stood in their kitchen next to their yellow 1980sstove, peeling fake wood countertops, and a refrigerator that always looked toosmall next to Warren and his other super-tall family members. She held a box ofuncooked spaghetti and didn’t respond to his presence right away.

An Agent's Inbox #4

2011-12-21T08:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent,

Here is what Dexter Gallagher knows regarding firebirds--

1. They are mythical creatures, and therefore do not exist.
2. Because they do not exist, they can't set bullies’ hairson fire (even when they deserve it).
3. They definitely do not turn into beautiful, affectionategirls at night.

So when a firebird follows him to school one day and provesall of the above, Dexter is terrified. And he’s in for another shock: his long-absentfather’s a warrior from Faer (a land not-so-coincidentally known for rarefirebirds) and he’s resurfaced to take custody now that his mother's passedaway. And that means Dexter and his firebird are moving to a fairytale land ofmagic and (spoiled) princesses and witches.

But there’s a lot of things they don’t mention in the travelbrochure. Like crazy seeresses, or wolves made of ice, or large amorous frogs. There’san awful Snow Queen who needs the firebird to find Faer’s most powerful sword,and she’d kill to get her hands on both. And in between fending off ogres andicemaidens, and finding friendships and first loves in the oddest places,Dexter’s realizing you don’t need to be the hero stories say you should be, tofight for the things that matter most.

FIREKEEPER is a 69,000-word upper middle grade fantasy setin a cocktail of re-imagined fairytales. While I've neither successfully cast amagic spell nor rescued a princess from a very high tower, I've been mistakenenough times for a witch that I feel more than qualified to write storiesinvolving them.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
E.C.

FIREKEEPER

The firebird sat atop an old-fashioned mailbox at Dharma Downs Lane. Ratherthan retreat to the safety of nearby trees and rooftops as any sensible animalwould have done, it drew itself up, as regal as any queen, and waited for theshades to attack.

The shades in question were already closing in, and assumingfrightening, monstrous shapes. Some took human form, with long sharp claws inplace of hands. Others took on semblances of wolves and bears and strangewinged creatures; black eyeless silhouettes with teeth.

The firebird chirped a warning, but the shades paid littleheed. So it sighed--a resigned, I-really-did-warn-you-about-this-you-knowsigh--and glowed. Its feathers, a variety of yellows and reds and oranges tippedwith a subtle silver shimmer, flared. Its majestic tail fanned out like avestal train, whipping at slow, concentrated intervals. Despite its bravado, ithad a wide-eyed curiosity about it suggesting it had not been a firebird forvery long and, if the shades had their way, would not be one for much longer.

The nearest shape reached out for the bird, claws extendedand sharp. It was promptly engulfed in an angry red blaze.

For one brief second the firebird reared; smoldering,ardent, angry. In the next it shifted and lengthened, beak and wings giving wayto limbs and legs.

Now a young girl crouched; comely, naked, and still angry. Featheredcrown had given way to a spirited mess of hair that lashed around her body likecoiled firelight.

An Agent's Inbox #3

2011-12-21T08:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent Awesomeness:

Waking with the sudden appearance of a tattoo on herstomach, sixteen-year-old Ellie Cox knows her recurrent blackouts aren’t simplyrelated to the stress of her typical high school life. And she knows they’regetting worse, more difficult to disguise as forgetfulness.

When Ellie goes missing--her loved ones assuming she ranaway--no one expects to find her in the apartment of another boy. Not evenEllie. Or her boyfriend. Another three days have escaped her and, as if thatwasn’t bad enough, the new boy, Griffin,keeps calling her “Gwen.”

Snippets of her memory begin to return, and after heradoptive parents reveal her biological last name, Ellie sneaks off to Idaho where, instead ofunearthing truths about her birth parents, she is forced to confront a man whoclaims to be her uncle and another who says saved her from a fire when she wassix. Both memories she does not hold. Upon returning home, she is sent to apsychotherapist where a haunting secret is uncovered: mistreatment as a childhas fractured Ellie’s mind into three personalities. And awareness of the othertwo--a small child named Ruby who holds the memories of Ellie’s early years andGwen, the reckless alter who cares for no one but herself--only sends Elliespiraling further toward the brink of insanity.

PIECES OF ELLIE is a YA suspense novel following a girl’sharrowing journey to proper diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder(formerly known as multiple personality disorder). The completed work is 56,000words. It is a stand-alone story, but has the potential for sequels in thepoint of views of Ellie’s alters.

A previous draft of this manuscript reached the semi-finalsof this year’s Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I have served aseditor and editorial writer for the ButterflyFacts, hold a Master’s Degree in Education, and also run YA Stands, acommunity site focused on young adult reading and writing.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward tohearing from you soon!

Sincerely,
N.S.

PIECES OF ELLIE

You don’t remember?

In the last twenty-four hours, I’ve heard those words threetimes now. The first, yesterday, when I forgot to wait for Dani after school.Supposedly, she’d asked me for a ride home during English, but for some reasonthe memory of first period is sort of a blur. Or not really there at all. Imust’ve been daydreaming. The second, this morning, when Mom forgot to putpancakes on my plate and when I pointed it out she said, “I didn’t forget. Youtold me you didn’t like them anymore.”

And now.

I stand on the dirt-covered floor of Beacon’s, the abandonedcement factory, watching Shane wrap a leather necklace around my wrist. Hepicked it up at the boutique next to his little sister’s Tae Kwon Do studio.His fingers are warm, brushing lightly against my skin as he secures the knot.The silver charm in the shape of a running shoe sparkles in the dull light.

“Fits perfectly over your scar,” he says, smoothing hisfinger over the inch-long layer of wound leather. And he’s right, it does fitperfectly. The vertical white line on my wrist is hidden. If only he hadleather for all the others.

“You don’t like my scar?” I say, hiding my discomfort in apouting face. He leans down, lips barely grazing mine.

“I like everything about you, Ells. Including your scar. ButI know you’re self-conscious about it.”

I grin. “Suddenly you’re a mind reader?”

An Agent's Inbox #2

2011-12-21T08:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent,

When his first love is killed in a prom night car wreck,teen genius Daniel Frank uses his award-winning science research to bring herback from the dead. Daniel instantly becomes a national hero and mediasuperstar, but when Jane’s health begins to fail, everyone, including Daniel,wonders if defying death is really possible. Public adoration turns tosuspicion, a criminal investigation, lawsuits, and a restraining order. Danielmust find a way to save Jane or he’ll have to watch her die again, knowing he’sresponsible for her suffering. Jane's life may depend on factors Daniel’slogical mind can’t grasp. Why does she keep having “near-death” visions ofheaven? Daniel doesn’t believe in fate, souls, an afterlife, or anything thatcan’t be proven scientifically. Then again, Daniel didn’t believe in love--beforeJane.

I am an SCBWI member and a former alternative high schoolEnglish teacher and elementary school library volunteer. My interactive playshave been produced by mystery dinner theaters in Arizonaand North Carolina.

Thank you for considering BODY AND SOUL, a YA light sciencefiction love story, complete at 45,000 words. The first 250 words are includedbelow.

Sincerely,
S.G.F.

BODY AND SOUL

Jane is dead, but I don’t know that yet. I don’t rememberhow the night ended, so I wake up happy.

I don’t realize where I am. I don’t even realize I’m awakeyet. Jane is lying dead, and precious time is passing, and my half-awake mindis playing scenes from last night, prom night, just like some cheesy datemovie.

***

I ride my bike to Jane’s house wearing a rented tuxedo,pedaling fast so that I don’t have time to sweat in the heat that radiates fromthe Phoenixstreets. Soon I’m standing in an air-conditioned entryway with Jane’s fatherand grandmother, and of course I’m sweating anyway as we watch Jane come downthe stairs, all blond and pure-looking.

She actually says, “Wow, you look great!” when she reachesthe bottom of the steps, and she leans forward, on tiptoes, to kiss my cheek. Iinhale sweetness--vanilla and sugar--and feel a strange ache inside my chest,like a tender spot, which seems to appear whenever I’m close to Jane. And thenI’m just standing there staring at her. I can never quite figure out why she’sso much more beautiful than any other pretty girl.

“Do you like my dress?” Jane asks, probably because I’mgawking at her like an idiot. “It was my mom’s,” she adds.

The dress is cream-colored lace, old-fashioned--different fromthe slinky prom dresses most girls wear--and it hugs her body.

“Yes,” I answer stupidly. I can’t think of what else to say.

An Agent's Inbox #1

2011-12-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my 93,000 word, adult urbanfantasy novel, IMMORTAL UNREST.

Novan Rivestra spent the last three years at Summoning School being an almost total failure atsummoning demons, which is why she risks her career by practicing anun-authorized summon the night before her final exam. However, instead of a lowlevel demon, she somehow summons Thirren, the gorgeous King of the Underworldand a strictly forbidden summon. Thirren also becomes inexplicably bound toNovan, who thinks she’ll be skinned alive when she’s found out, but Thirrenseems to have reasons for keeping his presence a secret.

Novan’s subsequent failure and re-assignment to a mundanelibrary job soon take a back seat to bigger issues when demons start going onmurderous rampages, because being bound to Novan is rapidly weakening Thirren.Without their King’s strength to tether them, not even the Summoner’s controlrunes are enough to reign in the demons.

The bad news ball keeps rolling when Novan discovers thatshe’s a descendant of the malicious Succubus Queen who was put to restcenturies ago. That explains Novan’s life draining ability, but to make mattersworse, someone close to Novan aspires to awaken the Queen, and Thirren’sweakness is an integral part of it. Novan now has to learn how to use herpassion fueled power to keep Thirren strong, and figure out how to stop theQueen from rising, because her quest to enslave Novan and Thirren’s worlds willstart with reclaiming the power she sealed away before she was put down. Thepower that not arbitrarily ends up in Novan’s hands.

IMMORTAL UNREST has the potential to be a series, but canstand alone. With this query I have included the first 250 words. Thank you foryour time and consideration.

Sincerely,
A.E.M.

IMMORTAL UNREST

In less than twelve hours I’d be embarking on a career wherefollowing the rules was an absolute requirement, and here I was breaking therules for the sake of that career. Oh the irony. After weeks of internalarguing and two recent shots of vodka, I was mostly convinced that what I wasdoing was justified, because if things didn’t go well for me tomorrow, I’d bestuck with the most depressing life fathomable. And I wasn’t exaggerating.

For an early summer night it was chillier than I thought itwould be, and I was sure my shivering and the fact that I was skulking througha dark graveyard made me the picture of a horror movie victim. The lack oflight to guide me wasn’t really a deterrent since I knew my destination well,and I soon came to the clearing in the middle of the graveyard where weSummoners pulled demons from the Underworld. In the middle of the clearing wasa large, circular stone; the Summoning Sphere. When I stepped onto it, Inoticed that it was messier than I’d ever seen any Summoning Sphere, and Iwondered how cleaning up could have possibly been overlooked. There weresplatters of blood all over the rune marked floor, as well as crumpled uppieces of paper, and bits of broken glass. I looked around, really hoping Ididn’t get caught, because I didn’t want the added burden of having this messpinned on me.

Now Accepting Entries

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

Update: And that's a wrap! We have our 20 entries! I've responded to every e-mail sent before 3:00 p.m. EST, so if you didn't receive a reply, check your spam folder.

I'm now accepting entries for December’s round of "AnAgent's Inbox"! Here's a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must beCOMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of thegenres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,”please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT thatmeets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I willdisqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, December20, I may allow previous participants to enter, but I'm not going to make thatdecision right now.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript.You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'lldisqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EST (OR 7:00 A.M. PST). Once the entrywindow opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sentbefore the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a postnumber. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but itwon't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and theprizes. The Agent might pick 20 winners, or he or she might only pick one. TheAgent might offer full requests, or he or she might only ask to see anotherpage. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I'veencouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as he or she would a normalbatch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question,"How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, whydid you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, butif you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks ofyour query and first page.

The Genres

Commercial fiction
Speculative fiction (based in reality)
Thrillers
Urban Fantasy
MG fiction
Pretty much anything that’s not Paranormal Romance or Adult Romance

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDSof your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, pleaseremember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

"An Agent's Inbox" Contest Alert

2011-12-16T06:00:00.000-08:00

THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR ENTRIES! I'M JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS-UP. THE CONTEST OPENS NEXT MONDAY, DECEMBER 19.

“An Agent's Inbox” is exactly what it sounds like--next week, I'm turning the blog into an agent's inbox, a public one. We'll get to see 20 queries along with their first pages, and we'll get to hear what a bona fide agent thinks of each one.

The queries and first pages will be yours, of course. I'll accept your entries this Monday, December 19, and then I'll post them next Wednesday, December 21. The entrants and anyone else who wishes to review them may comment until the following Tuesday, December 27, when I'll announce the winners. Those winners will be chosen by The Agent, who will remain nameless for now, and he or she will offer whatever prizes he or she wishes.

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I will disqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, December 20, I may allow previous participants to enter, but I’m not going to make that decision right now.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EST (OR 7:00 A.M. PST). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 20 winners, or he or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or he or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as he or she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here on Monday, December 19, at 10:00 a.m. EST! At that time, you may send your entries to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

Commercial fiction
Speculative fiction (based in reality)
Thrillers
Urban Fantasy
MG fiction
Pretty much anything that’s not Paranormal Romance or Adult Romance

The Agent represents adult AND YA fiction, so all of these genres apply to both categories. If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below!

Interactive Interview with an Agent: Kristin Miller

2011-12-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

The prodigal interview series returns (and we came back witha good one)! Today’s INTERACTIVE interview features Kristin Miller of D4EO Literary Agency. Enjoy Ms. Miller’s answers tothe usual questions, and then I’ll meet you at the bottom with details on theinteractive part.

KV: How long have you been agenting, and how did you getinto it?

KM: I have been agenting since February, 2011. Nine monthsprevious to my promotion to associate agent, Mandy Hubbard put out a call forinterns. I responded pretty much immediately and we clicked right off the bat.She announced that she had found her intern the very next day. It was and isgreat working with and learning from Mandy and Bob (the chief at D4EO) as Ibuild my own list.

KV: How would you summarize your personal agentingphilosophy? What do you expect from an agent-author relationship?

KM: I want to help my clients build the most successfulpublishing career possible. What "successful" means can vary fromwriter to writer and it's my job to support and promote that success.

In an agent-author relationship, I expect the author and Ito have an understanding regarding expectations and transparency, as well asopen lines of communication. Beyond that, every relationship is different,depending on a variety of factors.

KV: What drew you to your clients and their projects?

KM: Great crafting is the first thing that draws me into amanuscript. Sometimes, this refers to line crafting, while other times it canbe masterful pacing.

One thing that each of my clients has in common so far,however, is that I laughed out loud at some point while reading their work. Ilove a story with well-done wit. In other manuscripts I've requested, however,it might be a beautifully poetic style or intriguing and fresh plot or ideathat makes me want to read more.

KV: What genres do you represent? What genres do youdefinitely NOT represent?

KM: I represent all children's literature, from picture bookto young adult. I do not represent adult fiction or nonfiction of any kind atthis point.

KV: What query pet peeves and/or pitfalls should writersavoid when querying you?

KM: Don't send me your adult fiction query.

Be sure, when you are pitching your book, that you pitch aplot rather than themes or ideas.

Remember to paste your first five to ten pages in the bodyof the query. I used to reply to writers who forgot to paste pages and ask themto resubmit, but I don't really have time for that anymore. Don't ruin yourchances for a manuscript request by forgetting such a simple thing.

KV: What are you looking for in a manuscript right now? Whatare you tired of seeing at the moment?

KM: First, what I'm tired of seeing: paranormal. It's neverbeen my cup of tea, really, and the market is super tight right now. Andparanormal pitched as sci-fi? Don't do it--I know an angel when I see one.

What I would love to see: a decadent Eastern Europeanhistorical YA saga, out-of-the-box sci-fi, middle grade that nails the middlegrade voice, a picture book author/illustrator with groundbreaking art. Irequest and enjoy a variety of novels outside those very specific ideas,however.

KV: You mentioned you were looking for a picture bookauthor/illustrator with groundbreaking art, but are you interested in picturebook writers who AREN'T illustrators?

KM: At this point, I'm looking for author/illustrators only.

KV: What’s the best way to query you?

KM: Send your query with your first five to ten pages pastedin the body of the e-mail to Kristin@D4EO.com. When querying an illustratedproject, provide a link to a website or online gallery of samples of your work.Please, no attachments.

Thanks, Ms. Miller, for these responses! I always like to hearwhat an agent’s looking for. (And if anyone has a decadent Eastern Europeanhistorical YA saga, feel free to send it my way, too! I’m always up forbeta-reading anything that falls under the category of Awesome:) )

And now for my favorite part! If you have a question for Ms.Miller, feel free to leave it in the comments below. She’ll drop inperiodically throughout the day to answer anything she finds down there,leaving her answers in the comments, too. We’ll wrap things up at 6:00 p.m. EST(or 3:00 p.m. PST), so don’t dilly-dally!

"An Agent's Inbox" Success Story!

2011-12-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

So excited to share our first “An Agent’s Inbox” successstory with you! Amber Plante recently signed with Sarah LaPolla of Curtis Brown, Ltd., after Ms. Plante took second place in July’s round of “An Agent’sInbox.” I heard the good news via Twitter several weeks ago and asked Ms.Plante if she’d be willing to give us a little behind-the-scenes peek into howthe after-contest action went down. She graciously accepted, and this interviewis the result!

Check out Ms. Plante’s winning entry, then check out theinterview.

KV: What did you think when you found out who The Agent was?Had you already considered querying Ms. LaPolla?

AP: First, let me just thank you for hosting the ‘An Agent’sInbox’ contest. I entered on a whim, and it was such a great opportunity. I’m newto the social-media-writing scene, and this community has been so inviting. :)

It was like blind-auditioning for a movie role you knowyou’ll never get--and learning that, not only did you get the part, but StevenSpielberg is your director and Ian Somerhalder is your love interest.

I’d queried Curtis Brown at least three other times beforeentering ‘An Agent’s Inbox’--so it was a flattering shock to hear such avenerated agency was interested in my writing. I just kept thinking, ‘Wow, me?Really? OK… let’s do this.’

KV: How long did you wait to hear back on the partial? Whatdid Ms. LaPolla say when she did get back in touch?

AP: It was about five weeks from the initial e-mail. In herresponse, she said my book was a lot like Ender’s Game, and that she’d love to keepreading.

KV: I think we’d all love an agent to compare a manuscriptof ours to ENDER’S GAME:) But I digress.

How long did you wait to hear back on the full? What did youdo to keep yourself busy?

AP: Sarah was very busy, and I completely understood. I wasso thrilled I had her attention, she could’ve spent the next year reading itover without a complaint from me. In the end, I think it took her eight to nineweeks. To her credit, she sent me a reassuring e-mail after the six-week markto let me know she hadn’t forgotten.

After I sent the full, I did my best to forget about thewhole thing. I didn’t tell anyone about the contest, or Sarah’s interest. Thathelped--there was no pressure or expectation from friends or family. I alsostarted a new book (or two) in a different genre and, in all, tried out somenew ideas and techniques.

I got her e-mail on Oct. 30--the day after a storm dumped twofeet of heavy snow on New England. Living inthe middle of the woods an hour north of Boston,we lost power for days. My husband, my two little boys and I were huddled up atmy parents’ house in front of the fireplace.

I wasn’t expecting an e-mail, so when it popped up on mysmartphone, I gasped and froze. This was it--the big moment where I just knewshe would tell me she liked it but, in the end, wasn’t interested. My husbandcame behind me and rubbed my shoulders for support. I opened it…and nearlypassed out. No, I’m serious. Flooding relief and excitement.

KV: When Ms. LaPolla contacted you to discussrepresentation, did she e-mail you first or just skip straight to the Call?

AP: Can you imagine if she would’ve just called? Yikes!Thankfully, she gave me a day’s heads-up about scheduling a time to talk on thephone, which gave the adrenaline a chance to wear off, and gave me time to stopstrutting around like I’d just won an Oscar.

KV: Tell us a little bit about that first conversation. Wereyou more excited or nervous (or both)? If you had some time to prepare, did youput together some notes, or did you just let the conversation develop? And whatkinds of things did you two talk about?

AP: Would it be boring to say that I don’t remember? Thinkof that Katy Perry song: It’s a blacked-out blur, but I’m pretty sure it ruled.

In preparation, I re-read all of our previouscorrespondence, made sure my phone was charged, booked a conference room at myoffice and sipped a mug of peppermint tea, counting down the minutes untilC-time. I played off cool and collected fairly well, at least to my co-workers.

Then, I spent the whole call trying to soundprofessional-yet-approachable. I took notes on her suggestions and the nextsteps. I was petrified Sarah would decide, mid-conversation, to hang up on meand move on. But of course, she was excited and sweet--I later realized thatthis was as much a job interview for her as it was me. That still astounds me,but it’s the truth.

In all, I remember her assurance that she loved the book,had very high hopes and couldn’t wait to get it out there to publishers and,eventually, readers. That was the most important part.

KV: I think that’s a really important thing to remember: Oncean agent decides to make an offer, things become just as intense andnerve-wracking on the part of the agent as on the part of the writer. Like yousaid, that first phone call really is like a job interview for both parties.Great point.

Obviously, you decided to accept Ms. LaPolla’s offer ofrepresentation:) What about her impressed you?

AP: The reputation of Curtis Brown is stellar, of course,but overall I enjoyed Sarah’s enthusiasm for the book; it reminded me why Iwrote it in the first place! The book was meant to be a thrilling techno-rompthrough Europe on the heels of a badassteen-girl spy, and she really embraced that premise for all the fun it offered.

She’s also a talented editor, which is important to me(being an editor myself). When you write, you get so close to your own materialthat you can’t see its larger faults anymore--Sarah is that trained, fresh setof eyes I need, and her help shaping the beginning of the book and its tone hasbeen amazing. You need someone who’s willing to tell you when you’re wrong, andI couldn’t respect that more in Sarah. Also, she and I think alike--her Twitterfeed always makes me smile.

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like toshare with us?

AP: My advice is that you can’t stop trying. If you stop,you’ll fail. As long as you keep moving forward, you’re making progress, andthat’s something of which you can always be proud. Keep telling yourself thatyou’re talented, you want this and that, in the end, it will be enough.

Thanks again, Ms. Plante, for sharing your success storywith us. We can’t wait to see how the story develops from here. Good luck withMANAS!

Dear I-gots

2011-12-07T07:24:00.001-08:00

The lovely Katrina S. Forest of Book + Baby was kind enough to invite me to do a guest post on her blog, and I really like how it turned out. She suggested that I write a letter to one of my children, so that was what I did.

My letter to I-gots, my four-year-old son, is a tribute not only to him but to the overlapping threads that make up the tapestries of our lives. I can honestly say that if it hadn't been for I-gots, I probably wouldn't be a writer today--and I'm so glad I am.

I'll share this letter with him someday, when he's old enough to appreciate it, but for now, I'm sharing it with you. Hope you enjoy!

Gift Guide for Readers: Part Two

2011-12-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

And here’s part two!

11. THE NAME OF THE STAR by Maureen Johnson Ms. Johnson musthave thought, “So you think the paranormal market’s dead, huh? Well, then, geta load of this!” when she sat down to write THE NAME OF THE STAR. I loved howshe put an unexpected twist on what has been a dying genre. Part mystery, partsuspense, and part paranormal, THE NAME OF THE STAR was quite literally a page-turner.The only reason I didn’t officially recommend it is because the subject matter--amurder mystery that involves a series of Jack-the-Ripper-style slayings--is alittle gruesome (although I thought Ms. Johnson handled the blood and guts aswell as she could). On the whole, well worth a read.

12. THE FAERIE RING by Kiki Hamilton If you like enchantedtalismans and vibrant historical settings, you’ll probably love THE FAERIERING. Ms. Hamilton painted her late-Victorian-era Londonwith broad, luxurious strokes (and even made two of Victoria’s younger sons pretty importantcharacters). I did want the faerie element to be a little more fleshed out, buton the whole, I enjoyed this.

13. THE IRON QUEEN by Julie Kagawa To be honest, I don’t remembera lot of details about this third installment in Ms. Kagawa’s Iron Fey series. Iremember thinking it was a little redundant and didn’t take the story in thedirection I might have taken it, but then, I know I’m on the waiting list forTHE IRON KNIGHT at the library, so I must not have thought too poorly of it:)

14. DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE by Laini Taylor Here’sanother great example of a well-established author reinventing a waning trend(in this case, fallen angels). I thought the first two-thirds of DAUGHTER OFSMOKE AND BONE were engaging and original, but then the whole book morphed intoEpic Back Story Mode. Now don’t get me wrong--the back story was interestingand highly relevant to the plot. But I wished Ms. Taylor would have woven that backstory into the forward-moving action a la HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER ANDSWEET instead of dumping it at the end. Would that have been much harder to do?Of course, but I think Ms. Taylor would have been equal to the task.

15. BAD TASTE IN BOYS by Carrie Harris The thing I likedbest about BAD TASTE IN BOYS was that it didn’t take itself too seriously.Sure, aspiring medical researcher Kate Grable is dealing with a zombie plague,but does she let that rob her of her sparkling wit and personality? Of courseshe doesn’t:) The other thing I really liked was how real Kate seemed. Shecared about important things, like school and grades (and keeping all herclassmates from turning into zombies), but she also cared about what the seniorquarterback thought of her. She was neither too fluffy nor too serious. I’dread another book about her in a heartbeat (no pun intended).

16. CROSSED by Ally Condie If you read my last reading roundup (the one from February, not the one from yesterday), you can probablyguess that I didn’t particularly care for MATCHED. However, the same cannot be saidfor its sequel, CROSSED. I inhaled this book. I loved the characters, theworld building, and especially the prose. Make yourself read MATCHED so you canget to CROSSED. (Also, after reading CROSSED, I am definitely Team Xander.)

17. THE MAGIC THIEF by Sarah Prineas A well-written MGfantasy that will especially appeal to the boy readers in your life. I keptwaiting for the plot to develop into something a little bigger than it did, but perhaps therest of the series will do that. On the whole, I’d recommend it.

18. THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS by Rae Carson I wasn’texpecting to like this one as much as I did, mostly because I tend to go forurban rather than high fantasy, but Ms. Carson’s debut sucked me in. Whereassome authors choose to spread a story out over two or even three books, Ms. Carsonmanaged to cram two or three books into one. The result is a fantastical,fast-paced adventure that never quite fits within one genre. I’d definitely buythis one for my teenaged daughter (if I had a teenaged daughter, that is).

19. LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOOR by Stephanie Perkins Fans ofMs. Perkins’s ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS won’t be disappointed by this companionnovel. Cricket Bellis just as lovable as Etienne St. Clair (if not more so, in my opinion--I’vealways liked those shyer, nerdier types), and every scene leaves you wanting toread the next one. My one caveat is that Lola and her boyfriend Max aresexually active (although we never see those scenes), so that’s something totake into account.

20. GOLIATH by Scott Westerfeld This third and finalinstallment in Mr. Westerfeld’s Leviathan series is another great selection forthe boy readers in your life. GOLIATH features a bunch of exciting actionscenes atop a genetically engineered flying sperm whale (hello, steampunk!),and the romance is minimalist and understated. The only thing I didn’t likeabout GOLIATH was how uneducated it made me feel about the history of the FirstWorld War…

I think that’s it (from me, at least)! Which books would youadd to my gift guide?

Gift Guide for Readers: Part One

2011-12-05T07:56:00.001-08:00

I did a reading roundup at the beginning of this year, andsince I’ve been reading up a storm again, I thought I’d do another. But sinceit’s December, I’m calling it a gift guide this time around:) Some of these booksare relatively new releases, some relatively old, but I’ve read all of them forthe first time over the last couple of months, so they’re new to me. Hopefully,this will give you a few new gift ideas for the readers in your life. (Oh, and I’veread too many books to put them all in one post, so I’ll give you part twotomorrow.)

1. THE IRON KING by Julie Kagawa I thought this one startedout pretty slowly, but by about two-thirds of the way through, I was hooked. (Inother words, if this book had been half as long, it would have been twice asgood:) ) However, faeries seem to be really popular right now, and since Ms.Kagawa’s debut is several years old, she’s definitely on top of that trend. I’vecompared every other faerie book I’ve read lately to this one.

2. THE PENDERWICKS by Jeanne Birdsall I won this one onLiesl’s blog a couple of months ago, and it’s a wonderful addition to mycollection. THE PENDERWICKS has the timeless feel of a classic, but the writingand characters are fresh and vivid. If I weren’t such a lazy blogger, I’m sureI would have officially recommended this one.

3. SUPERNATURALLY by Kiersten White If you likedPARANORMALCY, you’ll probably like this one. Some of the mundane teenage dramagot a little stale for me, but when the paranormal creatures made areappearance, things got exciting again. Interestingly, I preferred thefirst half of PARANORMALCY and the second half of this one. (I guess I just likeit when Evie’s working for the IPCA…)

4. OPEN by Andre Agassi I did write a recommendation forAndre Agassi’s memoir, so I’ll just refer you to that. In short, I found thisto be a fascinating read even if I didn’t always buy that Mr. Agassi wastelling us the whole truth. Great gift idea for the nonfiction reader and/orsports fan in your life.

5. KETURAH AND LORD DEATH by Martine Leavitt Here’s anotherbook for which I already wrote a recommendation. I loved this one. I normally don’tbuy into deeply allegorical stories, but I thought this one was spot-on.

6. FLIPPED by Wendelin Van Draanen FLIPPED was another ofthe titles that Liesl gave away on her blog several months ago, and since I’dalready heard good things about it, I decided to give it a read. It’s anadorable he-said, she-said romance that targets the lower end of the YAreadership. It reminded me of Jerry Spinelli’s STARGIRL (which I absolutelylove), so if you’re looking for a cute, realistic gift for the twelve- tofourteen-year-old girl in your life, look no further.

7. LIFE AS WE KNEW IT by Susan Beth Pfeffer An engrossing,albeit haunting, read that explored the immediate aftermath of a major naturaldisaster. The story unfolds through the main character’s journal entries, andwhile I kind of outgrew this storytelling style in junior high, I thought it fitthe story. I flew through this book and thought it did an excellent job of notstraying into melodrama.

8. THE DEAD AND THE GONE by Susan Beth Pfeffer This was acompanion novel to LIFE AS WE KNEW IT that looked at the impact ofthat same natural disaster in an urban setting. For some reason, this one didn’tgrab me quite as much. I suspect it had something to do with the new cast of characters, but I'm not sure.

9. THE WORLD WE LIVE IN by Susan Beth Pfeffer This was thefinal installment of Ms. Pfeffer’s disaster trilogy. (I couldn’t not finish itat this point.) The characters from LIFE AS WE KNEW IT meet up with the charactersfrom THE DEAD AND THE GONE, and they trudge along the harsh road of survival together. Whereas LIFE AS WE KNEW IT did anexcellent job of not straying into melodrama, that was kind of all this onewas. (For instance, when one of the characters notices that the sky looks alittle green toward the end of the book, I thought, “Oh, no. We’re not reallygoing to throw a tornado in here, are we?” But yes, we did.) At least this one had a romance in it:)

10. THE IRON DAUGHTER by Julie Kagawa Whereas THE IRON KINGtook a while to come up with a fresh storyline, the storyline in THE IRONDAUGHTER seemed unique and different right off the bat. I love it whensequels are better than the originals.

Well, that’s it from me for now. I’ll post part twotomorrow. In the meantime, have you read any of these books, and if so, whatdid you think? (Or if you've read a great book lately, we'd love to hear about that, too!)

Buy. This. Book.

2011-12-02T14:32:00.001-08:00

A lot of you probably already know Shelli of Market My Words,so you’re probably already aware that her self-published debut, UNTRACEABLE, cameout earlier this week. I’d heard her name around the blogosphere--I knew thatshe was agented, for instance, and that she maintained a well-respected blog--sowhen I noticed a bunch of tweets popping up about her debut, I headed over tocheck them out.

Boy, am I glad I did.

Not only did her blog introduce me to UNTRACEABLE, a YA wilderness thriller (which isavailable in both paperback and e-book formats), but I also learned a greatdeal about her journey to publication via a guest post she did on Shannon O’Donnell’sblog. And guys, her journey was INSPIRING--but probably not in the way you’d expect.

Check out that guest post, then do what I did and go and buyher book. I NEVER buy books I haven’t received at least five recommendationsfor (or already read myself), so this is kind of a first for me. But if anybodydeserves my support and hard-earned cash, it’s Shelli.

Buy the paperback

Buy the e-book for your Kindle

Buy the e-book for whatever other kind of e-reader you may have

Happy Friday!

The Fickle Market

2011-11-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

Or “Whatever Happened to That Other Manuscript I Was Querying?”

You may have noticed that I took Bob’s pitch and query downseveral weeks ago and replaced them with Steve’s. (Or maybe you haven’t noticed,since you probably don’t scour my sidebar as thoroughly as I do every time I stopby the blog.) I officially stopped querying Bob and started querying Steve inthe middle of this month.

I’ve thought about doing a big statistics post like the one I didwhen I finished querying Bob’s predecessor, but my heart hasn’t been in it.Quite frankly, it takes some doing to crunch the numbers and make the graphslook as pretty and uniform as I want them to look, and I just haven’t wanted toinvest the time. (Besides, a lot of those numbers are nearly a year old now, soI’m not sure how useful they would be.)

Instead, I decided to blog about something that really sumsup my whole Bob-querying experience, and that’s the fickle market. But first, alittle--okay, a lot of--background. (For those of you who’ve been around the blog for a while, alot of this will be old news, but bear with me.)

I started querying Bob last fall, in late October. He wasthe third manuscript I’d queried, so I felt like I knew what I was doing.Still, I wasn’t prepared for the response that Bob received. My first three queryreplies were all partial requests, and one of those partial requests turnedinto a full request literally overnight. I was ecstatic. I was impatient. I wascertain I would have an agent within a week or two.

But then that full request came back as an invitation torevise and resubmit. I told myself this was a victory--not quite the victory I’dbeen hoping for, but a victory, nonetheless--and buckled down. The agent hadsome good ideas, and I knew the manuscript would be stronger if I incorporatedthem. Besides, I could work on the changes through the holidays, when itprobably wasn’t wisest to send out fresh queries, anyway, and not lose a lot oftime. I didn’t want to lose momentum, after all.

I finished the revision in mid-January and e-mailed it to the agent. A week and a half later, I received her reply. It was kind and complimentary, but she stillwasn’t in love enough with the manuscript to take it on. At the time, I was devastated.Now, I look back and realize that agent’s tastes and mine probably wouldn’thave been very compatible over the long haul, anyway.

After drowning my sorrows in a good cup of hot chocolate, Itook my stronger manuscript and sent out a fresh batch of queries. I also sentit to the agents who’d requested more material during the weeks I’d spentrevising it. Once again, the response was pretty positive. My request rate wasover fifty percent, and I pulled in several more partial-turned-full requests.

Then more R&Rs appeared. I picked up my second one inmid-February; by the first week in March, I had three more. I looked ateverything they said and decided to undertake a massive revision: flip-flop thenarrative responsibilities for my two POV characters and make Adair, the femalelead, the more prominent one. I knew it would be a lot of work, but Ifelt good about it, really good. So good, in fact, that I believe I saidsomething like, “I think this is the story I’ve been trying to tell all along,”in one of my query updates during that time.

This revision--although, in all fairness, it was really moreof a rewrite--took me three months. And when I finished, I knew it was the bestthing I’d ever written. It really was the story I’d been trying to tell allalong.

By this time, I had something like eight agents waiting toread the revision, so I sent it to them straightaway. I tried not to get myhopes up, but deep down, I let my imagination get away from me. Surely at leastone of these agents would love the manuscript enough to offer. Surely this wasa done deal. And as the days stretched into weeks, then months, and therejections piled up, I realized it was--but not the kind of “done” I’d hoped for.

The rejections were all eerily similar. They started out bypraising various aspects of the manuscript, then finished with some variationof one of these two lines: “But I just didn’t fall in love,” or “Unfortunately,though, the market has really softened up in the last couple of months.” Whereas six or even three monthsearlier, every agent and her pet Labrador hadbeen trying to sign the next THE HUNGER GAMES, no one wanted a YA dystopiananymore. Editors were no longer biting. The market was saturated.

Did this market saturation account for all of Bob’srejection? Of course not. If an agent had really loved themanuscript, the market probably wouldn’t have prevented her from offeringrepresentation, and I can think of a few YA dystopians, including Mindy McGinnis’s, that recently sold for good money. But the fact remains that duringthose months when I was working on the revision, something changed. The marketshifted. What had been a hot commodity was now barely a lukewarm one. I sentout a few new queries, but my request rate was nowhere near what it had beenbefore.

Moral of the story: The market is a living, breathing thing,and none of us will ever be able to control it. So instead of worrying aboutthe things we can’t change, we’d do better to worry about the things we can.And sometimes, we just have to know when to let go of a manuscript, especiallya trendy one, and get to work on the next project.

Thanksgiving in Review

2011-11-28T08:11:00.001-08:00

The long Thanksgiving weekend was a busy--but successful--one forus. Here’s what we did:

1. Since our parents live about five minutes apart, HoneyBear and I always eat Thanksgiving dinner twice. We usually take a little bitat this house and a little bit at that, and I swear that’s what I did thisyear. But I was feeling pretty nauseated by the end of Thanksgiving Take Two.(I’m blaming that on the baby and my squished digestive tract.)

2. The LSU-Arkansasand Alabama-Auburn games weren’t nearly as exciting as I thought they’d be:(

3. Black Friday was pretty leisurely for us this year. Weleft the house a little before ten in the morning and only went to two stores.We didn’t have to wait in line or even throw an elbow:)

4. Friday night, I rode my first commuter train. (I felt soEastern and cosmopolitan:) ) We took our kids to Salt Lake City to see the lights at Temple Square anddidn’t want to have to worry about parking a car downtown. If you’re ever in Salt Lakeduring the month of December, definitely plan on stopping there. It’s a sightworth seeing.

5. On Saturday, we celebrated Honey Bear’s grandmother’s eightiethbirthday. Grandma Dear, as her grandkids call her, is one of the nicest, mostgenteel ladies I’ve ever met (and she’s not even from the South). It waswonderful to spend time with so much family and to learn more about thisawesome lady.

6. On Sunday, we went to church with HB’s parents. One ofthe women from their ward, or congregation, gave a lovely talk about living in thanksgivingdaily. She didn’t say anything earth-shattering or revolutionary, but her wordsreminded me to focus more on what I have and less on what I don’t.

Well, I think that sums it up. I could go on, of course, butI don’t want to bore you with the details of road-tripping with a four- andtwo-year-old. Suffice it to say that there was much screaming, much whining,and much producing of cracker crumbs. But we made it. Barely:)

How was your Thanksgiving weekend?

November's Winners!

2011-11-21T08:15:00.001-08:00

And the winners are in! Without further ado, here are Ms.Martindale’s favorite entries:

#10 UPGRADE

#17 SURVIVING LILAH

#18 CANDLELIGHT

These entries win a request for the first 100 pages! Yay! Winners, please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how tosubmit your partials to Ms. Martindale.

But that’s not all! If Ms. Martindale mentioned in hercomment that she would read on after getting to the end of your first page, you may send a query letter andthe first 10 pages of your manuscript to Ms. Martindale atsubmissions(at)fullcircleliterary(dot)com. That way, she can check out thoseextra pages and see if she’s interested in requesting more.

Thank you, Ms. Martindale, for taking the time to give suchthoughtful feedback to each and every entry, and a big thank-you to everyoneelse for entering, critiquing, and cheering each other on.

"An Agent's Inbox" Underway!

2011-11-16T08:21:00.000-08:00

The entries are up, The Agent is here (or will be shortly), and the critiques are flowing in! Entrants, please remember to critique at least 3 other entries; everyone else, critique as many as you want. If you want to think like The Agent, you might consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" as you give your feedback, but I'm sure the entrants would love to hear anything you have to say (so long as it's constructive, of course).

I'll announce Ms. Martindale's winners and prizes no later than next Tuesday, November 22. Until then, critique away!

P.S. Entrants, if you notice any problems with your entries, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail so I can fix them.

An Agent's Inbox #20

2011-11-16T08:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

All seventeen year old Princess Cinderella ever wanted wasto marry her soul mate and live happily ever after, and she thought that wasexactly what she signed up for when she tied the knot with the handsome PrinceEric Charming. But, it seems that a union based on shoe size, good looks anddancing ability may not have been the best idea after all. Cindy and Eric havediscovered that they don't really like, much less love each other and despiteCinderella's pleas for help, the Fairy Godmother who rescued her from her lifeof servitude has not responded. It seems that she has retired, leavingCinderella in the hands of an annoying, second career FG who is still intraining.

Life is not at all pleasant around the palace but the worstis yet to come. When Eric disappears, his self obsessed step mother and powerhungry brother accuse Cinderella of being responsible. They have her throwninto the Tower of Torture and soon herformer unhappy life begins to look like a day at the beach. When she manages toescape, she has no choice but to embark on a journey fraught with danger, loss,coming out, life threatening creatures and surprising friendships. It isn'teasy learning how to survive in the Forest of Fear. It's even moredifficult deciding if you can love a husband you've never really known. But thetoughest challenge of all is figuring out how to be your own Fairy Godmother.

AFTER HAPPILY EVER AFTER is a YA comic fantasy, complete at49,000 words.

I am a multi Grammy winning lyricist. My web site[redacted] contains my biography, discography, and a list of the films andtheatrical projects I have written for. I was also the co-writer of atelevision movie, “The Stranger Game”, presented on the Lifetime network and haveco-authored a recently released children’s board book, [redacted], published by Sterling. [Redacted] won First Place in the2011 Purple Dragonfly Awards Board Book category..

The first 250 words appear below. Thank you so much for yourtime and consideration.

C.W.

AFTER HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Chapter 1: Princess Cinderella

Cinderella had completed her daily Pilates class and washalfway through her power walk in the royal garden when a footman appeared withan envelope on a silver tray. Since she had never received a letter in herentire life, that in itself was quite strange, but what was stranger still wasthe news it contained.

It was addressed in a precise yet flowery hand to “PrincessCinderella Charming, The Palace, Kingdom of Once Upon A Time, Fairytale Land,(no zip code required)”. Cinderella sat on a stone bench, staring at it for along moment. She could think of no one who would possibly write her a letter.She had given her stepmother and stepsisters more than enough money to keep themfrom ever contacting her again. The letter couldn't be from them, but for somereason she had a bad feeling in her chest. Her heart began to pound. Taking adeep breath, she unsealed the pale pink envelope which opened a bit too easily.Inside was a sheet of pearlescent stationary, so delicate it had to be unfoldedvery carefully. It had a twinkly wand mounted in the corner. Her eyes racedover the sparkling rose colored script as she read...

My Dear, Dear Clients,

It is with sadness andregret that I am writing to announce my retirement from my position as yourFairy Godmother.

An Agent's Inbox #19

2011-11-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

Sixteen-year-old Justine Kwiatkowski doesn’t believe inmagic, she doesn’t believe in reincarnation, and she never planned on having tofill King Arthur’s shoes. All she knows is that last night, the best friendshe’s ever had, Gwen Martinez, went missing outside the town of Avalon andshe’ll do whatever it takes to get her back.

But if she wants to rescue Gwen, she’ll have to believe in aworld she thought only existed in legend, because her best friend happens to bethe reincarnation of Guinevere, and fifteen hundred years after the fall ofCamelot, the Knights of the Round Table have returned, reborn as New Jersey teens.

Problem is, Mordred and Morgan le Fay are back too, havingkidnapped Gwen, and unlike most of the knights, they remember who they oncewere.

With Mordred murdering the knights before they can regaintheir memories, Justine has to figure out how to track down the few remainingsurvivors--a star football player, a brilliant artist teetering on the brink ofmadness, a high school dropout working odd jobs to support his family--andconvince them to bury centuries-old grudges and work together. If she can dothat, she just might save her friend, and maybe, the world.

Knights of Avalon,a YA Urban Fantasy, is complete at 95,000 words. While intended to be the firstin a series, the book can stand alone. Hopefully this manuscript will be ofinterest to you. Thank you for your consideration!

Sincerely,
M.B.

KNIGHTS OF AVALON

Ringing. My eyesfluttered open. Why was there ringing?I scrambled to get my bearings in the darkness. I was in my bedroom, the BruceLee posters on the walls told me that much. Through bleary eyes, I could seethe alarm clock shining 3:11 back at me. I froze as my gaze settled on my cellphone, lit up with an incoming call. Whywould someone call at 3am? I peered at the phone, trying to place thenumber. Then I took a deep breath and picked up. “Hello?”

“Hi, Justine. I’m sorry to be calling so late.” Iimmediately recognized the shaky voice on the other end of the line. It was mybest friend’s mom, Mrs. Martinez, but I had never heard her sound like this. “Gwen’snot with you, is she?”

My mouth dropped, the question a punch to the gut. There wasa murderer on the loose, cutting down the best kids in the state--a fencingchampion destined for the Olympics, a martial arts prodigy, an organizer forHabitat for Humanity. Now, three in the morning on a school night, my bestfriend’s mom couldn’t find her daughter. And Gwen? She was the most incredibleperson I had ever met. A straight ‘A’ student, she was going to be a heartsurgeon and work for Doctors Without Borders one day. There had always beensomething different about her. She was like the other victims. Special.

An Agent's Inbox #18

2011-11-16T08:18:00.000-08:00

Ms. Taylor Martindale:

Greetings! My name is B.C. I have completed a 76,000-wordmanuscript for a YA paranormal fiction novel titled CANDLELIGHT. I’m writing toyou because your profile states that you care most about whether or not storieshave engaging characters and vivid worlds. This is a belief I share and want tohave in any agent representing my work.

Set in 1873, the story begins when the young Theo Neumann isforced to flee his home after being accused of stealing a revolutionary designfor a steam drill from his powerful former employer. Pursued across the countryby a sadistic bounty hunter named Wolf, Theo makes his way to Virginia City, Nevada,site of the largest silver rush in American history. He quickly finds a job onone of the many mining crews, all locked in fierce and sometimes violentcompetition with one another. It is perfect work for someone trying to keep alow profile--as long as you don’t mind the daily risk of injury or death. Butdeep below the surface of the earth, Theo is about to discover that silverisn’t the only thing hiding in the rock. Something has been listening to thegrowing noise of the mining--and it is not happy. There are legends aboutcreatures that live in the depths. Some call them Tommyknockers. What is moretroubling than what the stories got wrong…is what the stories got right.

CANDLELIGHT is aimed at the young adult demographic,engaging both men and women with a mix of action, mystery, and romance.Blending the historical and the supernatural in the tradition of HarryTurtledove and Susanna Clarke, I worked hard to convey the vivid and boisterouslife of frontier boomtowns, while crafting an internally consistent alternateworld to engage the imagination.

I have copied the first 250 words of my manuscript into theemail below. I thank you for your time and consideration, and hope to hear afavorable reply at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
B.W.C.

CANDLELIGHT

Philadelphia,February 25, 1873

The two men lying on the ground coughed and wheezed theirlast just as the sun dipped below the horizon. The man who had killed themnodded to himself with a look of satisfaction. Sometimes events just happen toalign in an aesthetically pleasing way. He left the alley and the now-coolingbodies behind, neither moving slowly nor with much haste.

The sky was a deepening purple tinged by the last rays ofthe setting sun. Stars were just beginning to appear, barely visible astwinkling points of light. Faint wisps of cloud, high in the atmosphere, wovelike ephemeral ribbons just barely beyond the edge of sight. Much closer to theground, a less graceful kind of ribbon rose up from the countless smokestacks,chimneys, and furnaces of an industrial city still rumbling with the noise ofmachinery.

A man walked down the cobbled streets. They were now nearlyempty that the day-laborers had vanished, returned to their homes or to thenearest bar. A casual observer would have not have given him a second glance.He was garbed in plain, dark clothes of a cut that gave the impression of a manwith good taste and fashion sense, but their slightly worn appearance indicatedhe possessed little in terms of material wealth. A thick, long coat splatteredwith dark stains wrapped him against the growing chill.

An Agent's Inbox #17

2011-11-16T08:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

Joe Kapoor's heart has been wrapped around the adventurouslittle finger of his best friend, Lilah, for at least ten of his sixteen years.But he's always been the dependable one, nothing like Lilah's string of bad boyex's. Hoping a little spontaneity will cause a spark, he agrees to leave New York for the summer and accompany her while shevisits her father in China.When they arrive in Chongqing,Lilah convinces Joe to skip out on their driver to do a little sightseeing. Andeverything is perfect, too, until the bag holding all of their valuables goesmissing.

Thrust into one of the most densely populated cities in theworld without contact information, passports, money, or a phone, they must trektwo hundred miles to the closest U.S. Embassy in Chengdu. Joe has always been the one personpatient enough to see through Lilah's unconcerned exterior. But when hercareless blunders cause a string of disasters, he must find the strength tosurvive without the comforts of home--and decide if what he wants most isreally what he needs.

SURVIVING LILAH is a YA contemporary, complete at 50,000words. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
H.L.

SURVIVING LILAH

I flip my TravelingChina guide to the page about Chongqing,and glance over it for the billionth time. I at least want to be able to askwhere the bathroom is by the time we land. That way I’m semi-prepared because Iknow there’s no way Lilah’s going to be. I guess that’s why her mom asked me tocome with her to visit her dad for summer break in the first place. Kind oflike a chaperon, or something.

I look at her now, blond ponytail wrapped in a high bun onher head. She's got her ear buds in, and she’s bobbing to this electronic musicthat makes me wish I were deaf. Just another reminder of how different we are.In fact, if our mothers hadn’t met during their residency at Beth Israel, andgiven birth to us five years later at that same hospital, I don't think we everwould've become friends.

My other best friend, Chad, always brings up how bizarreit is that the two most dissimilar people on the planet are still so close. ButI look at it in a different way. I’m the yin to her yang. An opposites attractsort of thing. That--and I'm madly in love with her.

"Hey, Joe. You wanna Twizzler?" her voice booms inthe airplane’s cabin, talking over a song only she can hear. She stretches outher tan arm, sticking the candy in my face.

An Agent's Inbox #16

2011-11-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

I am seeking representation for A DIFFERENT WINTER, a character-drivenYA novel complete at 51,000 words.

When sixteen-year-old Rebecca's busy father dumps his familyin Mallorca in the fall of 1974, she must copewith her ill-equipped and hard-drinking mother, an international school full ofstrangers, and to top it all, learn Spanish.

She is unimpressed by the prospect of another new adventureuntil she sees Luke, a popular boy with a girlfriend of his own. Determined toget his attention, Rebecca fights off her debilitating shyness to dive intostudent life. She even joins the first cheerleading squad in Spain.

As each new venture draws her out of her shell, Rebeccaslides further from the volatile situation at home. She takes frequent refugewith Katie, an Iowan with a foul mouth and a big heart, and who knows Mallorca like a native. Through Katie, Rebecca befriendsManny, a young Mallorcan fisherman who seems to enjoy an idyllic existence.

When her little brother is injured while under the care oftheir inebriated mother, guilt and anger consume Rebecca. Then, sheinadvertently causes Luke's expulsion and deportation. She flees to the northend of the island, where Manny shows her that his life isn't very differentfrom her own.

I have pasted the first 250 words of A DIFFERENT WINTERbelow. I hope you will ask to see more. Thank you for your time andconsideration.

Regards,
S.C.

A DIFFERENT WINTER

Mallorca - 1974

We'd hardly arrived, and my parents were arguing in thebedroom. Dad's calm voice intersected Mom's shrill protests. Somewhere in themix I heard, "New start," and "Time to think.”

"I hope the neighbors don't understand English,"my sister Lori said with a smirk as she curled on the sofa with an airplanemagazine.

My little brother Michael seemed oblivious to the noise ashe rummaged through Dad's suit pockets, probably looking for foreign coins.

I skirted the mound of suitcases in the living room, openedthe balcony door and stepped into the heat. Flamenco music filtered fromsomewhere below, almost obliterated by the hiss of sand pulled to sea by thesurf. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the classical notes, if only todrown out my parents.

Dad finally came outside and leaned against the railing. Asusual, he hid his impatience behind a serene expression and a freshly litcigarette.

Inside, the sound of colliding dishes punctuated Mom's sideof the argument. She wore her emotions on the outside and dishwashing wasalways a clear indication of her mood. When she was in good spirits, she sangabove the gentle clink of cutlery against crockery. When she was pissed off,plates crashed together like cymbals.

Dad squinted against the sunlight and took a drag on hiscigarette. He rubbed his chin with a knuckle and cocked his head at the door."Don’t worry, she'll get used to this. She always does."

An Agent's Inbox #15

2011-11-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

When newly deceased Rebecca learns she must play matchmakerfor an entry ticket to Heaven, she’s totally up for the challenge. Armed with ahandful of enviable abilities and charged with finding true love for a prettycollege student, Alexis Beckman, Rebecca assumes her task will be fun--andeasy. That is, until the boy meant for Alexis steals her own heart instead.

At first, Rebecca thinks Michael’s tendency to turn herinsides to melted butter is a freak side effect of Alexis’s obviously growingfeelings for him. But the first time Michael and Alexis kiss, only one girlwalks away insanely jealous, and it isn’t Alexis.

Feeling cheated of life and love, Rebecca bends Heaven’srules to get closer to Michael. In the process, she uncovers a haunting secret:not only was Michael’s brother killed six months earlier, but Alexis might haveunwittingly played a role in his death. Rebecca knows she holds the one cardthat could tear Michael and Alexis apart, and must decide if a last chance atlove is worth breaking Alexis’s heart…and enduring the h***ish consequences offailing Heaven.

As three fates hang in the balance, Rebecca is only certainof one thing: nothing about her mission is as simple as she thought it wouldbe--especially letting go of life before death.

LIFE BEFORE DEATH is a 78,000 word paranormal romance, withPOV alternating between Rebecca and Alexis.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
G.M.C.

LIFE BEFORE DEATH

Of all the white things I would’ve expected to see inHeaven--brilliant white light, fluffy white clouds, angels in white robes--therear ends of two massive white horses weren’t on the list. Yet there they were,swaying from side to side as they towed the carriage I sat in.

It should have struck me as odd that the man at the reins,dressed in a red tailcoat and black top hat, grinned at me with warmfamiliarity in spite of the fact that I’d never seen him before. And the factthat I had no idea how I’d wound up in that carriage. It was as if I had materializedfrom thin air, landed in this moment, and one by one, my senses became aware ofeverything around me.

Every one of those senses told me I hadn’t gone to Heavenafter all.

I’d died, and that much I knew. But the white clouds andwhite-winged, white-robed angels? Not a one. There was a white light, though--inthe distance, emanating from a marbled moon. It bounced against the sky inrhythm with the carriage, causing the ocean beneath it to shimmer. Stout cliffsformed shadowy bulges along most of the shore, topped with palm trees and moreglowing dots of light from buildings and streetlamps and cars.

Cars. Not carriages.

Fingers of chilly apprehension uncurled in my stomach, but Iforced them down. I wasn’t in Heaven, but I knew a place this beautifulcouldn’t be Hell.

An Agent's Inbox #14

2011-11-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

I read that you're looking for light sci-fi, and thought youmight be interested in my YA science fiction novel ALTERNATE, complete at80,000 words.

Sixteen year old Sara Morgan is thrust into a war between paralleluniverses when she meets Elira Black, an alternate version of herself fromanother dimension.

The two girls have the same DNA, but couldn't be more different.Sara is more comfortable hacking into unsecured networks than making friends,while Elira leads a resistance against an empire determined to conquer all theworlds of the multiverse.

Elira is a prime, a unique version of Sara with the power tomanipulate dark energy to move objects and open portals into parallel worlds. Primesdraw strength from their alternates, and Sara is the last one alive--andElira’s enemies are coming to kill her.

When Elira dies in the attack and makes Sara a prime, Sara givesup her old life to protect her family, and pretends to be Elira. Now she mustlearn to control her powers and become a leader, while struggling with her feelingsfor Elira’s boyfriend, to stop the empire from conquering their next target--Earth.

I'm a member of SCBWI and a researcher for a law firm in Los Angeles.

Thank you for your consideration.

E.B.

ALTERNATE

The fire alarm blared to life right when I got past the proxyserver. Just my luck. It took me all lunch to hack into the school’sr ecordsystem, and now this.

My fingers flew across the keyboard while the alarm pierced myears without any hint of giving up. Just another drill. Maybe I could finish thisbefore I had to leave. If not, I'd have to start all over again tomorrow. Crackingthe system wasn't hard, but it took a long time to make sure no one could traceit back to me.

Mr. Wilson, my calculus teacher, stuck his head inside the doorto the computer lab. “Everyone out. Fire drill.”

The other students grabbed their things and rushed out, but Icouldn't leave yet. My brother wasn't adjusting well to our latest move, this timeto Los Angeles,and now his grades were too low to get on the school’s soccer team. Withtryouts next week, there was no way he’d have time to improve them. Normally Iwouldn't condone something like changing grades, but it wasn't my brother'sfault he couldn't keep up with school.

Plus, breaking in was fun.

A screen popped up asking for the student's name. I was so closenow. I just needed a few more minutes.

“Sara, come on,” Mr. Wilson said, waiting for me at the door.

“I'll be just a minute, sir,” I said, giving him my sweetestsmile. “I have to save my English essay and print it out. It's due next period.”

An Agent's Inbox #13

2011-11-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale:

Five years ago a scientist injected Owen with an invisibilityserum. Four years ago he ran away.

When Owen discovered the goal wasn’t scientific advancement,but creating undetectable criminals, he had to get out. A cure wasn’t anoption, and returning to his old life too dangerous, so he went into hiding.

Now he lives in a high school--where he has food andshelter, plus it’s the closest to a “normal” life he can get. Owen’s lonely,but at least he’s safe.

Until a stupid little decision steamrolls into a series ofmajor mistakes, and he gets on the radar of both a girl at the high school anda gang of unvisibles. The organization doesn’t want loose ends. If they findOwen, there’re only two options: they’ll force him back in or they’ll kill him. Owen doesn’t know if these unvisiblesare working for the organization or have their own agenda, but he isn’t aboutto stick around and ask. The smart thing is to get out of town, fast. Exceptfor the girl.

Thanks to Owen’s screw-up, the unvisibles think she has aconnection to him, which means she’s in danger too. He has to decide: save himselfor protect her.

But not hiding anymore could mean risking more than he realized--likehis chance to ever be cured.

UNVISIBLE, a YA paranormal, is complete at 60,000 words. Ilook forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
M.G.

UNVISIBLE

I hated this part.

The bell rang exactly four minutes and forty-eight secondsago. Which meant I had twelve seconds to get through the next door. I was a hundredyards away, the hall was too crowded for me to run like a normal person, andwith AP calculus, I had little hope someone would show up later than me to slipin behind.

Perfect attendance record, gone. Not that they’d give theboy they couldn’t see a certificate.

I skidded toward the door. Closed, of course. Mrs. Harperalways closed the door, like she worried someone would want to spy on her lesson.Not likely. Except, well, for me.

Eighteen days without a missed class. Not bad, but nowherenear last spring’s forty-seven-day stretch--lots of art classes and two P.E.s. That’swhat I got for challenging myself this semester…and drinking two cokes atlunch. I knew better than that.

I couldn’t pick up Mrs. Harper’s monotone through the thickwalls, but stuck around anyway, hoping for a straggler. No luck.

Of course it was this hour I got stuck. The worst hour. Thelast hour before the seventeen I had to spend alone. Maybe I’d go out tonight.I peeked out the nearest window. It didn’t look like rain. Probably safe.

Probably wasn’t good enough. Getting caught in the rainmeant bigger problems than my discomfort level. Like the body-shaped hole Icreated when I stood in it.

I checked my watch. Still time to make it to the library.

An Agent's Inbox #12

2011-11-16T08:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Taylor Martindale,

Anna’s life reads like a check list.

Straight A’s (Check)

Editor of the school paper (Check)

Volunteering time at the local soup kitchen (Check)

Ivy League (So close she can taste it)

Falling in love with a homeless boy (Not on the list)

Anna’s dad never took into account the impact his wordswould have or he would never have told her she was good enough for Ivy League.After he was gunned down in the line of duty Anna made a vow to follow throughwith her dad’s wish. There was nothing and no one, not even her party lovingbest friend that could convince her to choose her own path. Everything is goingaccording to plan until Dean shows up and forces her to see that while thereare many things you can plan, life is not one of them.

Dean never expected to fall in love. He had a plan too.Survive. After being subjected to his foster father’s violent attacks Dean madethe hard choice to leave. Now he lives on the streets doing everything he canto get by, refusing to let people help him. But when he meets Anna, he realizesnot everyone is out to hurt him.

As they both struggle with their lives and try to figure outhow to move forward they need to decide if there is a place for each other intheir new lives.

Uncharted Territoryis an 80,000 word contemporary YA novel that proves you can’t always map outyour future. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward tohearing from you.

Sincerely,

T.P.

UNCHARTED TERRITORY

It is my favorite time of year. Not because autumn arrivedovernight splashing color around the forest. Or the fact that pumpkin spicereplaced any lingering memory of sun block. All of that pales in comparison tothe bigger picture.

The holidays are around the corner which means the communityservice opportunities are endless. Since the third grade my only goal in lifehas been acceptance to an Ivy League school. Community service is one of themajor steps in securing my acceptance.

Did you know the acceptance rate at Harvard is eightpercent? Eight percent! Not that I necessarily want to go to Harvard but it’son the list. So as you can see I have no room for error.

While my friends, technically friend, are at the mall I’mgoing through boxes at the Salvation Army. When the weather warms I volunteermy time to build houses with Habitat for Humanity.

My planner is my lifeline. It is where I keep track of allmy volunteer work as well as my schoolwork. It keeps me organized and helps meallocate my time efficiently. Every morning I go over my list for the day.Today’s list is short, but important.

1. See Ms. Kittles to sign up for tutoring

2. Physics test

3. Soup kitchen registration

I’ve been volunteering at the soup kitchen since I wastwelve. Barney is expecting me, I’m sure. He runs the soup kitchen and alwayskeeps a spot open for my name.

An Agent's Inbox #11

2011-11-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

I like your philosophy on characters, how they make the plotcaptivating because of who they are, not what is going on around them. I knowyou are looking for contemporary YA, and I’d like to tell you about my YARomantic Comedy, WHERE ARE BOYS FROM, URANUS?

Every girl dreams about receiving gooey, sappy love letters--justnot from herself.

But seventeen year old Camryn McCaleb doesn’t care howpathetic it is. After the dating disasters she’s been through, she decides thatmaking up a boyfriend and writing letters to herself from him is worth avoidingthe guys who splash water on her or pretend to get beat up mid-date.

Cam bases her letters onher crush, Beckham, and things are fantastic. She's all set to share themwith her friends, until one of her pals announces that she’s drooling over Beckhamtoo. (Gulp.) On impulse, Cam panics and liesabout who her letters are supposed to be from. Finally, the real Beckham admitsto jonesing for Camryn, but Cam ishalf-stoked, half-sick when she starts dating him behind her friend’s back. Shedoesn’t want to lose her friend or her boyfriend, but it’s only a matter oftime before they both discover the secret behind who wrote her letters andthe truth of her betrayal.

At approximately 80,000 words, WHERE ARE BOYS FROM, URANUS?holds the same flair as Confessions of aShopaholic, but for teens. It will also appeal to fans of Anna and the French Kiss. The first 250words are below. The full manuscript is available on request.

I am seeking a partnership for my writing career. Inaddition to this project, I have two completed YA manuscripts and two works inprogress. I have a degree in English Literature from Brigham Young University-Idaho,and I am an active member of SCBWI. Thank you for your time.

Regards,
C.P.

WHERE ARE BOYS FROM, URANUS?

1. Intro To The Dating H*** That Is My Life

Maybe he’s just really shy. That’s why he won’t look at me.

“I like lots of different bands,” I say in response to mydate’s fifty-billionth question. But I feel like I’m trying to get to know thesteak knife instead of Tyson. All I’ve seen of him since we got to The MangoGrill is the top of his blonde, healthy hair.

He nods. Is it to let me know he’s listening? Or to make methink he’s listening?

Why did I say anything? If I keep quiet maybe he’ll actuallylook up at me. Maybe he spilled some sauce on his pants and the spot is shapedlike a hula dancer.

I tap my fingers on my thigh. The Mango Grill is one of thefew good restaurants in Cypress,so I’ve been here a million times. Decals of surfers and beaches cover thewalls, and they use real cloth napkins and everything. They even serve sushi here.

“What’s your favoritebook, Camryn?” Tyson asks, bobbing his lowered head.

Sorry, are you asking me or your legs? I try to connect howthis question has anything to do with what bands I listen to, or if I likesports, or what my religious beliefs are, or any of the other random questionshe fired out before those. Up on the mini stage bordered by fake grass, a bigSamoan guy starts singing.

An Agent's Inbox #10

2011-11-16T08:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Taylor Martindale:

Fifteen-year-old Angel Morgan has a choice to make--remainhuman or remain alive.

After an accident leaves her with a partially-robotic brain,Angel doesn't exactly feel human. In fact, she doesn't feel much of anythinguntil one incredible day when her dormant emotions begin flowing back to her.

At first, Angel enjoys her slowly-emerging emotions. Butwhen she's transferred to an all-cyborg school, Angel's databank is notprepared for the frustration and fear that ensue. It's barely been 2.15 dayswhen she intercepts wireless messages about school experiments being conductedon a student--her only friend there. While logic tells Angel it's too dangerousto get involved, her emotions insist that she rescue her friend, even at therisk of her own life. If this is what it means to be human, Angel isn't so sureshe wants the job.

UPGRADE (75,000 words) is a complete YA science fictionnovel. I am querying you based on your interest in "unique voices" inthis genre. I am a Clarion West alumna whose work has appeared in TrueConfessions, Purpose, and is forthcoming in Highlights for Children. I havealso received three Honorable Mentions in the Writers of the Future Contest.Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
M.S.

UPGRADE

Angel's parents were having "the discussion"again. She could tell because the decibels inside the car had risen by 9.5 forthe third time. Also, her mother's use of the phrase "too expensive"had signifigantly increased. Angel tried to calculate what factor might haveraised the frequency of these arguments. Perhaps she had done something wrongagain.

"And what do you get for that money?" her motherasked, throwing her arms up. "Bigger computers."

"You get experts on how cyborgs think, that'swhat." Angel's father slammed the brakes, almost missing a stop sign.Angel leaned forward with the momentum. It must have been her. Although she'dfollowed her etiquette protocol flawlessly, that did not always make peoplehappy with her. In the case of her parents, it often had the opposite effect.

"She doesn't need more experts," her mother said."She needs to socialize with other teens. She can get that anywhere."

"Yeah? Maybe with less than a year left, I don't wantto send her just anywhere." Angel's father fell silent as he checked fortraffic. Her mother did not wait for him to continue.

"Well, let's try to get Angel's opinion."

"Please don't ask her again. She'll just--"

"Hush." If the interruption upset her father,Angel saw no indication in his facial gestures. Her mother smiled and tried torotate herself a full 180 degrees, but the seatbelt only allowed her 97.

"Angel, dear, what do you...?"

Person speaking to me--feigninterest, Angel thought.

An Agent's Inbox #9

2011-11-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

Please consider my young adult urban fantasy, PRINCE OF CITYNIGHTS, complete at 60,000 words. I love how courteous, professional, andpassionate you seem from your online interviews, and I hope my manuscript fitsyour tastes.

Among the glittering lights and flash advertisements of Shadowglen City, shy seventeen-year-old Tabby Greenis cursed with the duty to cleanse human souls of evil. When the government discoversher secret, they kidnap her rebellious younger sister to use as bait. They wanther power, and the mayor wants revenge for the murder of his wife--somethinghe’s convinced is Tabby’s fault.

To free her sister, Tabby ventures into the outer city districtsand finds more than shadows in the darkness. Special law enforcers march thestreets, picking up anyone they deem suspicious and never bringing them back.Street scum hunt for easy targets, looking for more than just a meal. A beaststalks Tabby from the alleyways, stinking of rotten flesh.

With so many obstacles and only one clue to her sister’s whereabouts--followthe beast--desperation hits.

Enter Thief, a charming, well-dressed street crim who seemskeen to help. Too keen. The people of Shadowglen are never who they appear tobe, and Tabby knows Thief’s hiding something. The more secrets she uncovers inthe search for her sister, the more she realizes it’s not the shadows on theoutside she should watch out for. It’s the shadows within.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,
T.F.

PRINCE OF CITY NIGHTS

Tabby bobbed a curtsy in her Sweet Lolita dress, all frillsand ruffles and lace. The closest late-night shoppers stopped to gawk. She kepther head down and resisted the urge to scuttle into the café behind her.

The pink dress clashed with her mini red plaits, she hadsweat patches under her sleeves, and the café had mold on the ceiling.

None of that mattered. Frills and ruffles hooked customers,every time.

She swept her arms towards the café entrance and steadiedher breath. “Evening. Anyone want an icy drink?”

It was a hot night. The crowd was tired. She was a shopgreeter in a novelty dress.

The onlookers edged forward and she encouraged them withwhat she hoped was a flirty smile.

But oh, to be home in jeans, sipping on a nutri-drink andadding touches of paint to the newest picture on her bedroom wall. Away fromthe lights and the noise and the masses of people.

Her gaze snagged on a man. He was leaning against a shopwindow across the bustling plaza square. There was nothing overly noticeableabout him, but his stare raked her dress in a way that made her shudder. Hisinternal shadows billowed like dark clouds before a storm.

Everyone had shadows. His were worse. His needed to be dealtwith.

An Agent's Inbox #8

2011-11-16T08:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale:

The entire fifth grade class thinks Stella is weird, likeher late grandmother, the town psychic. Grandmother Hummingbird taught Stellaabout animal messages--and the Animal Spirits. If you pay attention to theanimals that cross your path, you will receive messages to help you. WhenStella tells her classmates she’s seen strange bats, no one believes her, butStella believes it’s a sign.

While researching the mysterious bats, Stella discovers thatGrandmother Hummingbird’s death was no accident--she was murdered. Her quest tolearn more leads her to secret city, where animals monitor the Earth'senvironment and Dog Biscuit Day is a holiday. The big boss of flora and fauna,Mother Nature, recruits Stella to follow in her grandmother’s footsteps and becomean Earth Keeper.

In Earth Keeper training, Stella studies many animallanguages and finds more clues about her grandmother’s death. Stella barks,chirps, and hisses, but when she sings to a whale, she learns about theultimate evil--a plot to make a potion of doom. The fumes from this wicked brewcould take down Mother Nature and the Earth in a wave of devastating airpollution. And the villain behind the sinister scheme, Ziegfried, could be hergrandmother’s murderer. Now Stella must awaken her own psychic abilities andwork with the Animal Spirits--to stop him.

Because you are seeking new concepts in fantasy, I aminquiring as to your interest in POTION OF DOOM, my 36,500-word middle gradenovel. Pasted below are the first 250 words.

I have 20+ years experience as an environmental engineer andI illustrated and co-authored, XXXXXXX. I am also a member of the Society ofChildren’s Book Writers and Illustrators.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely,
L.T.

POTION OF DOOM

Her teacher was wrong! Not all bats were nocturnal. StellaLaPlant flipped through the notebook on her school desk. She kept an animaljournal and the bats she had seen were odd--maybe a new species. She pushed hersunglasses further up her nose and scoured her entries under “StrangeSightings. ”

Her finger slid down the page. Yes! She raised her hand andblurted. “Yesterday, I saw bats--large bats--flying in broad daylight. I knowthat we have bats in North Carolina,but these were some sort of giant mutant species. ” Leaning forward, she tappedthe page. “And they had a ‘Z’ on their bellies! ”

The teacher dropped her eraser. “What?”

The entire Possum Trot Elementary fifth grade class fellsilent, and looked at Stella as if she’d just blown peas out of her nose.

“Stella, that’s very…interesting.” The teacher rolled hereyes and turned back to the board.

Stella’s shoulders fell as snickers surrounded her. Sheshould have known nobody would believe her. She shouldn’t have said mutants.Now she’d have to put up with another round of teasing.

“Woof, woof, dog eyes,” Cody whispered behind her. Stellaclenched her teeth. She always wore sunglasses, even inside, to hide her eyes.Her classmates said she must be part animal, because only dogs and cats couldhave one blue eye and one brown eye. What was wrong with being like an animal?Her Grandmother Hummingbird, the town psychic, had taught Stella about AnimalMedicine.

An Agent's Inbox #7

2011-11-16T08:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale:

Seventeen-year-old Dodge Tellman would do anything to winthe Game, but his competitors have an advantage he can't afford: enhancedsenses and extra, mechanical limbs.

Dodge lives in the slums of a high-tech megalopolis. Thecrime rate is higher than the graduation rate, his underpaid parents take pillsto stay awake for 60-hour work shifts, and his four-person family lives in athree-room apartment. But if Dodge's team wins the Game, they'll finally have aticket out. The team of Gamers who conquer the objectives of all seven levelswin a new life for themselves and their families, a life aboard a luxury spacecruiser headed to colonize a distant planet. And whether the objective is Dare,which means forcing yourself to take insane risks, or something more vicious,like the fight-oriented Dispatch, the number-one asset a Gamer can have is agood operation.

Most of the Game's previous winners have had advancedsurgery, but the only operation Dodge can afford is a Chancer. A roulette. Hewon't know what the operators have done to his body until he walks into theGame, where the implants will activate. There's no guarantee of getting hismoney's worth, but going in without any surgery at all would be like asking tolose. In the ten years of the Game, no one's won without physical enhancements.

When Dodge and his team first enter the Gamescape, he comesface to face with his worst case scenario: zero difference in his body. Nooperation. But he's changing, all right. Little by little, level by level, he'stransforming into something without a conscience. Something with the capacity--withthe sick desire--to slaughter his teammates, his closest friends.

He can still win the Game, if he's willing to stay in theGamescape and fight the metamorphosis.

But if he can't keep control, he'll lose everything. Hisfamily's future. His best friends. His humanity.

And there's no going back.

I'M GAME (72,000 words) is a sci-fi thriller for youngadults. I have short fiction in Bad Austen, an anthology to be publishedNovember 2011 by Adams Media. I've enclosed my first 250 words below--thank youso much for your time and consideration, and for judging the Agent's Inboxcontest!

Sincerely,
R.R.

I’M GAME

The com on my wall buzzes, spitting out the voice of my bestfriend Tag. “Dodge, you there?”

I don’t want to extract myself from my bunk’s covers toanswer. The heating in our apartment shell is broken for the second time thiswinter, and besides this bundle of blankets, there’s no way to ward off thechill leaking in around my bedroom window.

Despite my lack of response, Tag keeps talking. “I knowyou’re there, bud. Sitting in your bunk and trying to ignore me. Don’t thinkyou’re getting away with it--I’m gonna keep talking until you answer.” A pause.“Yes, that was a threat.”

I roll my eyes. Tag’s not kidding, either. He’ll go on forhours if I don’t shut him up.

I slide out of my bunk, the icy air calling the hair on theback of my neck to attention. As I rub the goosebumps away, my fingers trailover the microchip beneath my hair. The rectangular chunk of circuiting is coldto the touch.

I kick my way through the clutter on my floor and slap myhand onto the wall-com. “Yeah. What’s going on?”

“There you are.” Tag’s voice vibrates in the old silverdisk. “The guys wanna go out. You coming?”

I’m tempted to say no. If I go, they’ll ask me what I’mgoing to pitch.

Tag pitched Army. I knew he’d do it--it’s a rich kid thing.When they pitch, they get their extras plugged under their natural-born arms,one more arm on each side.

An Agent's Inbox #6

2011-11-16T08:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

What would you do if every time you touched someone, you sawhow they died?

17-year-old Wyndy Julyette, seemingly a normal girl, awakensto find herself orphaned, mute, and cursed to see how other people die--beforeit happens.

From there, things increase from bad to worse as she sealsherself off from all human contact, from even communicating. Moving in with hercruel uncle Lord Tucker, Wyndy and her twin sister Rian have to leaveeverything behind, including Wyndy’s best friend, Michael. However, the twinsalso gain a follower, a flattering yet disturbing man in charge of the“peacekeeping” Scarlet Guard.

As Wyndy adjusts to this new life, a boy shows up from themystical North, a place the Scarlet Guard has sworn doesn’t exist. Wyndydiscovers that all these strange ties are related, in more ways than she couldever imagine, to her own situation. Her Untouchable gift, her curse, isembedded in the very formation of the island as she knows it.

In a world where magic is feared and color distinctionsreign, Wyndy must fight with all her being against what is easy and what isright. The final confrontation leaves Wyndy with an impossible choice betweengood and evil, between selfishness and altruism, between love and loss…

Complete at 140,980 words, Hero: First of the WyndyJulyette Chronicles is YA fantasy, which may appeal to readers of TheHunger Games by Suzanne Collins and Matched by Ally Condie. Per yoursubmission requirements, I have enclosed the first 250 words.

My name is D.G. and I’m a broke college student. For sevenyears writing has been my passion, a stress reliever and a perfect way tounwind. I have been gripped with the love for recording how characters react toscenarios I drop them into. All my novels are very character driven. Herois the first manuscript that I have polished and made publish-ready, yet I amcurrently revising my second novel as well.

Thank you again, Ms. Martindale, for reviewing my projectand I hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
D.G.

HERO

A red cup. Blue water in it.

Too blue.

A flash of red fabric. A black eye.

Fire. Hot and sticky. Burning my skin. Clouding my eyes withsmoke. Stealing the breath away from me.

Propelling through our three-room house; stumbling throughthe door and into my parent’s bedroom. Seeing them lying in their bed,motionless, caught up in the flames. Their faces start to change, turn to ashbefore me…

Day 1

“The window, the--are you crazy, Wyndy! Don’t open thedoor!” Rian shrieked. Her voice was distorted over the hiss and crackle offlames just outside our bedroom.

I didn’t care. I had to see for myself.

The covers tangled my feet and I fell out of bed on my handsand knees. The air was dense with smoke and I blinked hard, clearing sleep andthe itching pain from my eyes. Rian fumbled through the dark to find me, hercough and hoarse cry of “Wyndy” enough to make me stop.

Growling and ignoring the pain on my palms and knees, Ilurched upright and grabbed Rian’s hand, the gloves I’d been too tired to stripoff earlier still hugging my fingers. Rian latched onto me instantly, herfingernails like claws, as I towed her towards the window.

“Stay behind me,” I wheezed sharply. The only answer Riangave me was a choking sob. No time to think now; just get her out of thisburning house and then see for myself if it was true.

An Agent's Inbox #5

2011-11-16T08:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Taylor:

I've read that you’re drawn to character-driven stories, andI hope you’ll consider representing my novel DUSTED, a young adult urbanfantasy set in modern-day San Antonio.

For sixteen years, tabloids nationwide have maligned Brina,the infamous human-pixie hybrid. Both humans and pixies find her odd, but noteven Brina knows how odd she really is. Though she’s always envied how thepixie royal family can produce all eight kinds of dust, she’s never imagineddoing it herself. But then…

When Brina wakes up with multicolored sheets the morningafter her brief kidnapping, an ancient secret begins to unravel. Soon, Brinaattracts the attention of a group of ruthless rebels, who’ve been snatching atthe edges of the secret for years, and are convinced she can help them tear itwide open. She’ll need her wits and her wings free and clear to contend withthe rebels, dodge high school dust addicts, learn some dust control…and decideif a certain handsome human is too good to be true.

Because the rebels are right, and Brina’s blood could starta revolution. Worse: no one who knows it, no one who can prevent it, can evenbreathe a word of it. Compulsion spells are a b****.

Fans of WINGS by Aprilynne Pike will enjoy the blending ofthe real and the supernatural in DUSTED, which is complete at 98,000 words. Thefirst 248 words are attached below.

As a criminal defense lawyer, I’ve learned about the drugtrade directly from traffickers and addicts. I’ve published a paper on thejuvenile death penalty, but this is my first novel. The death penalty paper waseasier.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

R.W.

DUSTED

Brina knew better than to go out in public looking less thanher questionable best. But she was late, it was rush hour, and home was thirtyminutes away by car…but only ten by air. So she left her human-sized purse andcar keys with her best friend Moira and launched her mouse-sized self out thepalace window into the sweltering air of San Antonio, Texas.

The first flash came from her left and, like an idiot, shetwisted toward it. Which is how the photographer’s zoom lens caught her: eyesopened wide, long braid slicked back from her face with her own sweat, andlimbs sticking out at startled angles from her workout tank and short-shorts.All of it glowing softly brown in the dusk.

As a special bonus, the magazine’s cover photo captured themoment her four bright white wings froze in shock, sending her plummeting a fewfeet downward. The resulting portrait could have been entitled “Freak, Falling”but instead the headline proclaimed: “Human-Pixie Hybrids: The Last AmericanTaboo.” That worked, too.

Naturally, the cover was taped to her locker first thingTuesday morning. It hadn’t been torn carefully, and a jagged gash rippedhalfway through Brina’s right wing. As if she needed help looking ridiculous.

Brina stopped in the middle of the hallway and forcedherself to breathe. Stretched her lips into a slight smile. Pressed her head tothe side, as if pondering a pleasant surprise. Ignored the churning in herstomach.

An Agent's Inbox #4

2011-11-16T08:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

Theater tart turned Constantinople's premier courtesan,Theodora accompanies her wealthy patron to the frontiers of the Byzantine Empire. He promised her a bronze marriage beltand the red sandals of a patrician, but abandons her before either realizes shecarries his child. Alone with an infant son and no means of survival, Theodorasells her body to make her way back to the capital. There she is introduced toEmperor Justinian.

He wants her.

But Theodora can be mother or Empress, not both.

The Emperor needs a wife who can provide him with an heir,not a woman with a son to tangle the line to the throne. Theodora must decidewhat's more important: keeping the son the Emperor can never know about orpleasing the powerful man who claims to love her.

THE SECRET HISTORY is historical fiction complete at 100,000words.

I am a history teacher who has traveled to Istanbul for research and am currently atwork on my next novel about the daughters of Genghis Khan.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearingfrom you.

Sincerely,
S.T.

THE SECRET HISTORY

My life began the night death visited our house.

I lay on the straw pallet with my sisters and listened toComito grind her teeth and Anastasia’s even breathing in the dark. An animalsnorted in the distance, probably the scraggly new bear Father had acquired totrain for the Greens, a beast scarcely fit for the spectacle of the Hippodrome.The fleas were bad tonight and Constantinople’ssticky heat made the stench of the nearby garbage heap especially pungent. Imissed our old home in Cyprus,the salty smell of the Mediterranean and thecicadas’ screams amidst the olive trees. Our ramshackle house near Constantinople’s amphitheater could scarcely compare.

There was a shuffle in the dark--possibly a rat--but then myfather grunted.

“Quiet, Acacius.” My mother giggled. “You’ll wake thegirls.”

She gave a little moan as I snuggled into Anastasia’s bareback, hoping for more dreams like last night’s fantasy of roasted goat withmint yogurt. Comito claimed I made cow eyes at the butcher’s son when Mothersent us to collect our monthly grain ration today, but in truth I was moreimpressed with the fresh leg of goat hanging from his stall than the cut of hiscalves under his tunica. It seemed like years since we’d had meat.

“Acacius.” My mother’s tone was the same she used when myfather came home after too much wine at the Boar’s Eye. There was anothersound, a thud like a sack of flour hitting the ground. “Acacius!”

An Agent's Inbox #3

2011-11-16T08:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale:

Eleven-year-old Gladys Gatsby loves to cook, but no one infast-food-obsessed East Dumpsford shares herpassion--especially not her parents, who ban her from the kitchen after oneteeny, tiny crème-brûlée-triggered fire. Gladys finds a new creative outlet inan essay contest in which she writes about her dream job: becoming a restaurantcritic for The New York Times. But when her essay lands on a Times editor’sdesk, Gladys finds herself taking on that job a lot sooner than she expected!

Her first assignment: review Classy Cakes, a fancy new“dessert bistro” in New York City.To sneak into the city and the restaurant, Gladys will need help from everyfriend she’s got--and possibly from her worst enemy, Charissa Bentley. The mostpopular, meanest girl in the sixth grade is having a birthday party inManhattan, and if Gladys can get herself invited, she just might manage to meether deadline and hang on to her dream job.

GLADYS GATSBY TAKES THE CAKE is a 48,000-word, humorousmiddle-grade novel about a girl who can’t wait to be a grown-up, even if thatmeans biting off more (delicious, gourmet food) than she can chew. The novelstands alone but has series potential. I’ve read that you enjoy cooking, so Ithink that this project could be a great fit for you.

I graduated from DartmouthCollege with a B.A. in CreativeWriting and have a play published in the anthology FISHAMBLE FIRSTS (New Island,2008). My plays and screenplays have been shortlisted for several major awards,which are detailed on my website, [redacted].

I would be happy to send my complete manuscript upon yourrequest and have pasted the first page below. Thank you so much for yourconsideration.

Sincerely,

T.D.

GLADYS GATSBY TAKES THE CAKE

Gladys Gatsby stood at the counter, the spout of her father’sheavy blowtorch poised over the top of the first ceramic cup. Her fingerhovered over the trigger button that was supposed to turn her plain littlecustards into crunchy, tasty treats. That's when she heard a car door slamoutside.

Gladys froze for a second, but then she checked the clock.5:16--still a good 44 minutes before her parents were due home from work, andthey were never early. It’s probably justthe neighbors, she told herself, and with that, she took a deep breath andpulled the trigger.

Several things happened at once. With a hiss, a blue flameseveral inches longer than Gladys had expected shot out of the blowtorch,passing clear over the far edge of the first custard. With a whoosh, the windoutside changed direction and began to blow in through the kitchen window,setting the gauzy blue and white curtains aflutter. And with a jingle and agrinding noise and finally a click, someone turned a key in the Gatsbys’ frontdoor.

A moment later, she heard her parents’ footsteps in thehall.

“Gladdy!” her dad called. “We’ve got pizza!”

Fudge! Gladysthought. She tried to release the trigger on the blowtorch, but to her horror,the spout kept shooting flame. She pumped on it desperately with her finger,but that only seemed to make the flame get bigger.

Their footsteps were getting louder.

An Agent's Inbox #2

2011-11-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

In the multiple interviews you’ve given (Krista’s included,thank you Krista!) and your agent bio, you’ve stressed that you are looking forcharacters, and my manuscript is all about the characters!

THE ADVENTURES OF BIC AND BILL is the story of Bill, Daddy,an ornery goat named Del Ray, the return of Bill’s massive Momma, and a boxingrat. It is told from the POV of a miss-educated chicken named Bic.

When Momma, escapes her indentured service as a prizefighter to the circus, and busts back to the farm, Bill’s happier than a hounddog to have his Momma back. But soon enough Bill, Daddy, and all the animals onthe farm are glum as can be, and terrified of Momma’s terrible wrath, andenormous apatite. If Bill’s twice as big as three water buffalo and just as strong,Momma’s bigger and stronger. So when Momma sees how the farms been runningsince she left for the circus back when Bill was just a giant baby she’s asangry as an exploded hornets nest.

But when the four tiny brothers of the Terral, Ferral,Derral, and Merral Brothers Circus, come calling to collect Momma, and Mommarefuses, Daddy proposes a deal that involves Momma, the circus brothers,himself, Bill, and the farm all in one go.

The brothers will host a boxing match that pits Mommaagainst a champion of Daddy’s choosing. If Momma wins she takes the winningsfrom the fight and pays off her debt to the circus brothers. If Daddy’schampion wins, Momma must return to the circus.

Now, Bic, Bill, and Daddy must capture and train the onlyliving creature that stands a chance in the ring against, Momma Kill Punch Janice.Mr Rat. a six foot tall boxing rat who Daddy tried to sell to Butcher Peteafter Bill knocked him unconscious with his gardening club for raiding the chickencoop.

THE ADVENTURES OF BIC AND BILL is a MG boy's adventure novelcomplete at 35,000 words.

I am a co-founder of the writing and comedy communitywww.boxingwithpencils.com which receives 6,000 to 8,000 page views a month, andat four months old, is still growing in readership.

Thank you for your time,

A.H.

THE ADVENTURES OF BIC AND BILL

“Lift her higher so I can get at them rats Bill!” shoutsDaddy from the porch, pointing his long stocked double barreled shotgunfiendishly under the chicken coop.

Lifting the coop a little higher is easy cause Bill’sstronger than a Mississippitugboat. Gripping that hen house at the base an raising his elbow, Bill pulls itup enough that he can peek at what’s underneath. Tha Rat’s, glaring back atBill, growling big as a Cincinnatisteam train an meaner than a honey badger in a bee’s nest. Bill’s got his gardeningclub in one hand an wants to hit that big barracuda toothed rodent right in theskull so he can’t eat no more chickens.

“That’s it Bill, liftit higher! WOOO WEEE I can see that big varmint now!” Hollers Daddy, hoppingback an forth on the porch, “Just like you’re do’n Bill, keep go’n higher so Ican get a shot at him! Real high Bill!”

Daddy’s got Bill excited now. All exuberant like, Bill goeson an gives that coop a heave. He done sends the chicken house flipping throughthe air to land ten feet away, smack upside down on its roof.

There’s that rat, exposed big as a python in a playpen.Daddy takes one look at the monster an straight away faints of shock at thesize of the thing. He collapses on the porch firing off both barrels as he goesdown. One slug goes skipping off towards the sun an the other flies directly atthat giant rodent.

An Agent's Inbox #1

2011-11-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Martindale,

I am seeking representation for HERE TODAY, a humorous women’sfiction novel complete at 84,000 words. After reading your interviews on GotYAand Mother.Write, I think we might be a good fit.

Nate Cather, a world-famous actor, is stalking his own biggestfan. In the public eye since age 15, Nate doesn’t have many normal friends, buthe does have Mary K Dallof, a fan who has written him every week for ten years.Nate looks forward to hearing from Mary K more than anyone can ever know--afterall, people pay to watch movies starring dashing-and-refreshingly-scandal-free NateCather, not the real one.

But when Mary K’s wedding announcement arrives, Nate realizeshis one chance at true love is slipping away. Ignoring the protests of hisbrother/manager Tom, Nate sets off to break up Mary K’s engagement, hopefullywithout destroying his career in the process. Unfortunately, wooing Mary Krequires avoiding her suspicious older sister and maintaining a healthy dislikefor her infuriatingly nice fiancé. And he thought shaving his head to disguisehimself was tough.

When Tom reports that the tabloids are on his trail, Nate hasto decide whether he’s going to risk his career for Mary K--who, as it turns out,isn’t as easy to talk to in real life as she was in his head. Mary K, on theother hand, must pick between true love and a life-long crush. Told from thealternating perspectives of Nate and Mary K, HERE TODAY takes place over thefive days before Mary K’s wedding.

I was a columnist and copy editor at The Daily Utah Chronicle, my college newspaper, from 2003 to 2007.I have also worked as a marketing assistant for Shadow Mountain Publishing.This is my first novel.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
R.F.

HERE TODAY

One of the many, many nice things about being both rich andgood-looking is that I’m not going to be convicted of a crime anytime soon.Take stalking. It’s technically a crime, and I suppose I could be accused ofdabbling in quote-unquote stalking.

See, I’m Nathan Cather. Yeah. The Nathan Cather--the one who probably has a couple stalkers ofhis own? You’ve probably seen my movies, watched my TV shows, read myinterviews. Some of you might have even visited my website.

This isn’t arrogance--it’s fact. Sometimes I meet people whopretend they’re too smart to know who I am, too mature to pay attention to whoI broke up with last or how much money I make. “Nathan Cather, huh? What do youdo for a living?” They, my friends, are full of it. Everybody knows Nathan Cather--anyonewho says otherwise is lying. I’ve been in two TV series and twenty-three movies,dozens of magazine covers, and hosted SNLthree times.

So I pose the question: Who is going to find me guilty ofstalking? Most women want me to stalkthem. And sure, laws probably should apply to everyone equally, but let’s bereal. Don’t some apply a little moreto the dude who drips his own blood on a girl’s car, and a little less to the international movie star?

I’m just saying.

Now Accepting Entries

2011-11-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: We filled out last slot at 3:30 p.m. EST (or 12:30 p.m. PST). If you sent your entry before that, check your spam filter for my reply. If you think there might be a problem, feel free to e-mail me. Entries go up on Wednesday, so stay tuned!

I'm now accepting entries for November’s round of "An Agent's Inbox"! Here's a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I will disqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, November 15, I may allow previous participants to enter, but I'm not going to make that decision right now.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EST (OR 7:00 A.M. PST). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent, Taylor Martindale* of Full Circle Literary, will select both the winners and the prizes. She might pick 20 winners, or she might only pick one. She might offer full requests, or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, she’ll be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

The Genres

YA fiction (all subgenres)
MG fiction (all subgenres)
Women's fiction (historical, multicultural, and book club)

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, please remember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

*I know this probably goes without saying, but you should probably treat this round a little differently because you already know who The Agent is. Specifically, if Ms. Martindale has already rejected your query, YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VE MADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOUR QUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to say you can’t enter (mostly because I have no way to police it), but you--and she--are going to get a lot more out of this contest if you enter something The Agent hasn’t seen before.

"An Agent's Inbox" Contest Alert

2011-11-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR ENTRIES! I'M JUST GIVING YOU AHEADS-UP. THE CONTEST OPENS NEXT MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14.

“An Agent's Inbox” is exactly what it sounds like--next week, I'm turning theblog into an agent's inbox, a public one. We'll get to see 20 queries alongwith their first pages, and we'll get to hear what a bona fide agent thinks ofeach one.

The queries and first pages will be yours, of course. I'll accept your entriesthis Monday, November 14, and then I'll post them next Wednesday, November 16.The entrants and anyone else who wishes to review them may comment until thefollowing Tuesday, November 22, when I'll announce the winners.

Those winners will be chosen by The Agent, and this month,The Agent is Taylor Martindale* of Full Circle Literary!

Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must beCOMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of thegenres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,”please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT thatmeets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I willdisqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, November15, I may allow previous participants to enter, but I’m not going to make thatdecision right now.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript.You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'lldisqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EST (OR 7:00 A.M. PST). Once the entrywindow opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sentbefore the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a postnumber. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but itwon't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and theprizes. The Agent might pick 20 winners, or she might only pick one. The Agentmight offer full requests, or she might only ask to see another page. It alldepends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouragedThe Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batch of queries.Essentially, she’ll be answering the question, "How much of the entry didyou read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think thisprocess will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to beprepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here onMonday, November 14, at 10:00 a.m. EST! At that time, you may send your entriesto kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

YA fiction (all subgenres)
MG fiction (all subgenres)
Women’s fiction (historical, multicultural, and book club)

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below!

*I know this probably goes without saying, but if you’rethinking about entering, you should probably treat this round a littledifferently because you already know who The Agent is. Feel free to do a littleresearch and include personalization in your queries. Also, if Ms. Martindale hasalready rejected your query, YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VEMADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOUR QUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to sayyou can’t enter (mostly because I have no way to police it), but you--andshe--are going to get a lot more out of this contest if you enter something TheAgent hasn’t seen before.

Interview with an Agent: Kathleen Rushall

2011-11-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

Excited to share an unusual Wednesday edition of "Interview with an Agent" with you! Today’s interview features Kathleen Rushall of Marsal Lyon Literary Agency. Ms. Rushall has a jam-packed schedule this week, so the interview’s notinteractive, but her answers to the usual questions are quite informative, I think. Happyreading!

KV: How long have you been agenting, and how did you getinto it?

KR: First of all, thank you so much for interviewing me! Ireally appreciate it and I love to appear on blogs like Mother. Write.(Repeat.)--places where we all have the same passion.

I officially became an agent in May of 2011, but I wasassisting other agents with their projects and on administrative tasks in anagency before that. I interned at the Sandra Dijkstra Agency for six months andthen worked at Waterside Productions for about a year and a half beforebecoming an agent with Marsal Lyon Literary Agency.

KV: How would you summarize your personal agentingphilosophy? What do you expect from an agent-author relationship?

KR: I look at the author-agent relationship as a give andtake. I really view it as a partnership. Like all strong partnerships, itshould be built on communication, respect, and honesty. I expect authors towork hard, to always strive for improvement (good writing is a process), tohave initiative, and to be open and upfront about their ideas, brainstorming,and goals. And I hope they expect the same from me as their agent.

KV: What genres do you represent? What genres do youdefinitely NOT represent?

KR: I represent children’s fiction including picture books(looking for quirky, character-driven, and funny), middle grade, and youngadult fiction. For both YA and middle grade books, the voice is paramount(haven’t heard that before, eh?).

For middle grade books, I’m looking for something with astrong voice that’s fast paced with good character development. I’m really opento anything: girl-centric, multicultural, boy POV, adventure, fantasy,contemporary, etc.

For YA I especially love Southern gothic, thrillers,mysteries, I’d love to find a good ghost story, historical fiction (Western,anyone?), romance, science fiction. Again, a memorable and engaging voice iskey and I’m really looking for that unique plot with characters I care about.So, sorry to be completely unoriginal here, but voice and hook are important!

I’m also representing adult nonfiction in the areas ofcrafts (DIY), how-to, pop culture, parenting, business, and health.

KV: Are you interested in picture book writers who AREN'Tillustrators?

KR: I actually prefer picture book writers who are justwriting the text. I'm not currently looking for illustrators. Great question!

KV: What query pet peeves and/or pitfalls should writersavoid when querying you?

KR: Honestly, it’s just simple things. I think anyonereading this blog is already on the right track with the preparation. Thingslike not putting the title of the book in the query letter or not addressing mespecifically at the opening (please no “Dear Agent”s or, worse still, “DearSir”s).

The only other thing is to make sure you’re ready. Youshould have your critique partners help you decide this--have people read overyour letter and, of course, your manuscript. Edit edit edit. This is your firstimpression so you want to make sure it’s as strong as possible.

KV: You only want to see the query letter in a writer’sinitial contact (if the writer queries by e-mail), but several respectedindustry sites have advised writers to include a few sample pages at the bottomof every query, whether the agent asked for them or not. So if a writer goesahead and adds those pages, do you find that more assertive or obnoxious?

KR: Actually, I would love to see the first ten pages of themanuscript included in the body of the e-mail with the query letter.

I know there is a lot of conflicting information online onvarious sites about which agent wants what for each submission; I feel bad forthe confusion! If you don’t include the first ten pages, that’s fine; I willalways request what I want to see. Just makes it nice and easy when it’salready in the letter. But please no attachments of the full manuscript withthe initial query letter.

KV: What are you looking for in a manuscript right now? Whatare you tired of seeing at the moment?

KR: Since I’m open to a wide range, it seems like it may bemost helpful here to focus on what I’m not looking for.

Right now, for YA, I’m burned out on paranormal “creatures”(this can include anything from vampires to werewolves to angels to fairies).There are exceptions (like I said, I’m into ghosts and witches), but paranormalromance and dystopians aren’t something I’m currently looking for.

For picture books, I don’t represent rhyming texts, and thebook really has to make me laugh for me to love it. I want humor in my picturebooks!

For middle grade, I don’t want anything too “quiet.” Therereally has to be a strong hook that keeps the story moving. I hope this helps!

KV: What’s the best way to query you?

KR: The best way to query me is electronically. I do acceptsnail mail queries, but I prefer e-mails. Just e-mail me your query letter andthe first ten pages of your book (in the body of the e-mail vs. as anattachment) at Kathleen@marsallyonliteraryagency.com.

For picture books, please go ahead and include your picturebook text in the e-mail as well. For nonfiction proposals, you can just includeyour query letter and I can ask for your proposal. Can’t wait to see what’s outthere!

Thanks again, Ms. Rushall, for taking the time to answerthese questions. And good luck to everyone who decides to query. I won’t besurprised if that’s quite a few of you:)

P.S. Don’t forget to drop by this Friday for more details onnext week’s round of “An Agent’s Inbox.” Taylor Martindale of Full Circle Literary is going to be The Agent, and I know she’s ready and raring to go.Looking forward to next week!

Writing What You Are

2011-11-07T06:58:00.000-08:00

I know I say this a lot, but I have some wonderful critiquepartners. I’ve learned so many things from all of them, both from reading theirwords and letting them read mine. In particular, I’ve learned what it means towrite what you are.

Consider Amy. On she surface, she appears to be just anotherAmerican housewife and stay-at-home mom, but if you dig a little deeper, you’llfind she actually spent most of her growing-up years in Hong Kong. (I think her parents were professors or something.) Then shemoved back to the States for college, got married, and—you guessed it—movedoverseas again, this time to mainland China. She and her husband lived therefor the first seven or eight years of their marriage, which means that, on thewhole, she’s spent a lot more time outside of the United States than inside of it.

But the really exciting part is that she lets that heritage seep into her writing. Her novels often have an American-Chinese angle,and why wouldn’t they? She’s kind of an expert, after all. And it’s such a partof who she is that not writing about it would deny the rest of us such a unique perspective on another culture (and even our own).

Then there’s Ben. To give you an idea of what he’s like,check out the bio sketch from his Blogger profile: “By day, I battle roguerobots for the good of society. [I think that means he writes technical manualsfor a robotics company. (And after checking with Ben himself, I discovered healso gets to test these robots. Talk about a cool day job!)] I’ve been run overby a station wagon, have nearly run over a kangaroo, and would rather just ridea bicycle. I survived depression, found true love, and am living happily everafter. I love writing, singing, and lists with three items.”

Ben’s most recent manuscript is about two young people withdepression who take a job with a robotics company. The company does contractedwork for the U.S. Army overseas; at the moment, they’re developing a line ofintelligent armored vehicles designed to carry out the most dangerous suicidemissions. The problem is, the armored vehicles aren’t quite intelligent enoughto run themselves, so they need a team of drivers, drivers who want to die.

Oh, and did I mention the main character’s pretty handy witha camera (and that Ben is, too)?

Writing what you are is similar to writing what you know andwriting what you love; in fact, writing what you are draws from both of these morecommon refrains. But writing what you are goes even deeper. Writing what youare means writing the manuscript that only you could write. It means writingabout the themes, the people, the places that are uniquely yours.

I think we forget sometimes that we’re characters, too,unique and interesting individuals with voices and idiosyncrasies, likes anddislikes, strengths and weaknesses. So when agents say they want to readsomething they haven’t read before or discover an undiscovered voice, we don’thave to reinvent the wheel. We just have to give them OUR stories. Because ifthey truly are our stories, then they have to be unique.

Agent-Author Chat: Michelle Andelman and Liesl Shurtliff

2011-11-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, look--it’s another installment of “Agent-Author Chat”!(Two interviews in two weeks? I’m on a roll!) Today’s interview featuresMichelle Andelman of Regal Literary and one of my good friends and critiquepartners, Liesl Shurtliff.

Here’s a quick reminder about how this will work: Ms. Shurtliffwill share her query with us, the actual query she sent to Ms. Andelman, andthen she’ll chat a bit about how she developed it and what advice she has forfellow writers. Then Ms. Andelman will tell us what she liked about thequery--and the manuscript itself--and share somequery-writing tips with us.

Ms. Shurtliff's query and responses will appear in orange, Ms. Andelman's in blue.

Ms. Shurtliff’s QueryRump is a lousy name, but it’s even worse when your name is your destiny.Rump’s destiny really stinks. Because his mother only spoke aloud part of hisname before she died, Rump is only part of a person. He is short, skinny, andapparently an idiot, because he thinks the world is round when everyone in thevillage says it’s flat.

When Rump discovers his mother’s old magic of spinning gold,he thinks his destiny is golden, until the greedy miller manipulates Rump into bringingthe gold to him. Only then does Rump realize that the same magic that allowshim to spin the gold also binds him to take whatever others will offer him inexchange for the gold. He fears his half-spoken name has something to do withthe mess.

Then the miller boasts to the king that his only daughter, Opal,is the one who spins the gold. Rump thinks he’ll be a hero if he helps Opal,but he gets in over his head when Opal makes a foolish bargain: she promisesRump her first-born child. On a quest to be free of the miller’s greed and thebinding bargains, Rump learns of rumpel, magic that traps you, and of stiltskins,magic that frees you. He’s got the trapped part down. If only he could find astiltskin. If only he knew his whole name.

RUMP, a middle-grade retelling of Rumpelstiltskin from his ownquirky point-of-view, is complete at 58,000 words. I read that you prefer quirkyand charming middle-grade, so I hope this will interest you. I have publishedstories and articles in Guideposts Sweet16, Hopscotch for Girls, and The Friend. I review books for DeseretNews and I’m an active member of SCBWI since 2008.

Thank you for your time.

KV: Ms. Shurtliff, how did you first come up with the ideafor RUMP?

LS: I was actually brainstorming another fairytale when Igot the idea. I was thinking about the importance of names and how it would bereally interesting to create a fairytale world where a person's name determinedtheir destiny. Instantly my mind gravitated to the Rumpelstiltskin tale,because if there ever was a story where a name was important, it was that one.And because I have a totally immature love of potty humor, I thought it wouldbe funny to shorten his name to Rump. I smiled instantly. What kind of adestiny would someone called Rump have? A totally stinky one! The name anddestiny were the seeds of my story and it grew from there. It was a lot of fun!

KV: Tell us a little bit about your query-writing process.Did you work on it here and there as you were writing the manuscript, orbefore, or after? How many times did you revise it? And how did you decide whatorder to put things in?

LS: I did write the query here and there as I wrote mymanuscript. To me a query is a sort of compass. If you can’t coherently boildown the larger parts of your book in 250 words then it might be an indicationthat you have a problem with your overall story, like you have no idea whatit’s about. So the query helped me stay on track and focused.

I revised my pitch paragraph dozens of times as I revised mynovel and got it ready for submission. I often revised what characters and plotpoints were necessary in the query and tried to make it as clear and tight aspossible.

As far as the order, I'm a fairly linear person, so I juststarted with the beginning and moved until I reached the major tipping pointwhere I hoped an agent would ask to read more.

KV: What was the hardest thing about writing your query?What was the easiest?

LS: I think the hardest thing (or at least most laborintensive) was really personalizing my query to each agents’ particular tastes.There are varying ideas about what makes a good query. Some want you to goright into the pitch, others prefer a bit of introduction. Some want bookcomparisons, others find that presumptuous. Most want you to end the query witha cliffhanger, but I did find one agent who wanted to know the resolution inthe query. Some want no sample page, others want one, five, ten, threechapters, the whole thing plus a synopsis and a bio and the name of your dog.

It's an exhausting amount of research, but I think it'simportant to show them that you've taken the time to learn about them and givethem what they want. Otherwise, how can we expect them to take our workseriously?

The easiest part was writing the first couple of lines. Iknow this is tooting my own horn, but it still makes me laugh.

KV: Ms. Andelman, when you first read Ms. Shurtliff’s query,what caught your attention?

MA: I was caught by the mix of humor and heart that wasevident in the query itself--Liesl did a terrific job of crafting a queryletter that demonstrated just how strong and lively a writer she is, and what’smore, a query letter whose tone perfectly captured that of the project.

Rump is a little boy with at once a wise yet humorousperspective. There’s tenderness yet also a bold, laugh-out-loud quality to hisvoice, and the way he sees both the world and himself. From reading Liesl’squery alone, I was able to sense that about her protagonist--and sense thatshe’d drive him through a truly extraordinary and emotional character arc, evenalongside the adventure she was going to send him on. I only hoped the pageswould bear that out! I was so eager to see; truly, I had such genuine funreading the query that I couldn’t wait to dip into the pages! Liesl says justabove that her query made her laugh--me too!

KV: Obviously, the manuscript met--or exceeded--yourexpectations. What did you love about RUMP?

MA: I’m drawn to fairytale and folktale retellings intheory, but in practice I’m selective about what I take on in this vein. RUMPwon me immediately over! The manuscript made it evident how much Liesl lovesand knows the fairytale she’s giving a fresh spin, and how much she loves andknows fairytales in general.

RUMP has strong roots in traditional fairytale world buildingand storytelling. There are sludge-slurping trolls, aunts who are witches, andpixies with gold fever. Yet it also boldly reinvented the wheel, recasting thereviled legendary character of Rumpelstiltskin as a very young boy you can’thelp but feel for--and whose humor, magically, even within the context of thetraditional fairytale story world Liesl created (one that’s all her own, yethas a timeless feel), felt perfectly contemporary. There’s a bold,irrepressible boy humor in RUMP that called to mind SHREK, which I totallylove, and which I feel also--like RUMP--pays homage to fairytale traditionwhile irreverently dosing it with a humor I loved, and which I think kidreaders today will love.

KV: Just have to jump in here and say that I love the Shrekcomparison! It’s so apt! And it's so cool to hear what an agent has tosay about a manuscript I’ve actually read. Okay, back to the interview…

How quickly did you read Ms. Shurtliff’s manuscript? Is thatpretty typical of your response times on requested material, or do those vary?

MA: I just looked back at my records. There were just 14business days that passed between the day I received Liesl’s full manuscript (Idid request the full upfront, after reviewing her paper query with ten pages ofwriting attached) and the day I wrote to let her know I was in love with RUMP,and wanted to schedule a phone conversation for the next day (during which Ioffered her representation).

My response times on requested material, admittedly, canvary. I can take longer especially in cases where a full read finds me sittingon the fence, loving elements but not feeling the work’s quite coherent enoughyet, so I must think about what specific editorial work I might suggest anauthor and I do together to get a submission ready for editors’ eyes.

Or I can take longer if I love a full manuscript but worryabout its marketability. In that case, sometimes I need to take extra time todecide if I love it enough to commit to it, even if I feel it could be a toughsale. Or, I need to give extra thought as to a placement strategy--that’s myway of shoring up my confidence that I can successfully find a home for it.

Of course, it’s loveliest to read a submitted manuscriptand, as I am reading, clearly see what editorial work I’ll recommend and what myplacement strategy will be--and, by the end of my read, be feeling that warm& fuzzy “I-am-in-love, I-want-to-represent-this-author,I-know-exactly-which-editors-will-flip-for-this-like-I-have” glow. That’s notthe case with every submission I take on--some I love, but need a lot ofdevelopment; some I love, but raise market questions that I need to answerfirst; but some come along that, for me, feel like no-brainers. I love it, it’sin great shape, and I know just how I’ll go about placing it. My response timeis speedy when that’s the case and that was totally the case with RUMP.

KV: Ms. Shurtliff, what tips do you have for fellow writersas they work on their queries?

LS: Do your homework on both queries and agents. Read asmany queries as you can and figure out why they work or don’t work. (I highlyrecommend Query Shark.) Have a few people read your query who have not readyour book to make sure the query makes sense. If you have to explain any pointat all, that’s a red flag.

Beyond that, don't obsess over it! Queries are important butyour book is more important. Put the big time into the real baby.

KV: Same question to you, Ms. Andelman. What query-writingsuggestions do you have?

MA: The best query advice I have is not to query too soon!Give yourself time to get the manuscript right--I think Liesl’s final tip aboveis totally on-point. There’s no sense in sweating a query for a book that isn’tas ready--as developed, as polished--as you are able to get it.

That said, once you’re ready, I recommend drafting a concisequery that doesn’t summarize the plot in step-by-step fashion but instead movesus through your story’s major movements and gives us a sense for how yourcharacters arc. It’s so important, I think, to highlight in a query anemotional throughline for your story or protagonist--really, I don’t see enoughqueries that do. It’s the emotional arc (that runs alongside your story arc)that hooks me in a query, and which makes me want to read the book.

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like toshare with us?

LS: Focus on your craft and give yourself time and space togrow as a writer. Getting an agent and a book deal (though very exciting andvalidating) are not the grand prize of writing. The goal is to write wonderfulstories that you love and reach the audience who will love them as well. Sokeep that in mind when you’re biting your nails over a query letter.

Wow, wow, wow! Thank you, ladies, for these wonderful thoughts.I, too, thought Ms. Shurtliff’s suggestion about focusing more on the book andless on the query was spot-on, and Ms. Andelman’s insights into her manuscript-reading thought process were so informative.

As I announced a few months ago, RUMP recently sold to Knopf/RandomHouse, so the rest of you will be able to read RUMP for yourselves in thespring of 2013! Until then, this interview will have to tide you over:)

To Reveal or Not to Reveal The Agent's Identity--That Is the Question

2011-10-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'd love to hear what you thought of October's round of "An Agent's Inbox," specifically what you thought about knowing who The Agent was beforehand. Do you want to try another round like that sometime, or do you prefer not knowing The Agent's identity upfront? I can see pros and cons to both, so I wanted to get a sense of what you guys were thinking as we get ready for next month's contest.

P.S. Happy Halloween!

Interactive Interview with an Agent: Hannah Bowman

2011-10-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

And “Interview with an Agent” returns! Today’s INTERACTIVEinstallment features Hannah Bowman, the newest agent at Liza Dawson Associates.Details on the interactive part are at the bottom. See you down there!

KV: How long have you been agenting, and how did you getinto it?

HB: I've been officially an agent since the beginning ofAugust this year--I'm still brand new. Before that I interned at Liza DawsonAssociates for eight months.

I actually got interested in publishing from the writingside: I wrote and queried a couple novels of my own--both of which were (rightly)rejected. So I've been there! As I was querying, I realized I was reallyinterested in what agents do--the editing, negotiations, and business side ofpublishing--so I started looking for internships and opportunities to readmanuscripts. I interned briefly with agent Weronika Janczuk before starting atLiza Dawson Associates.

KV: How would you summarize your personal agentingphilosophy? What do you expect from an agent-author relationship?

HB: I'm a very hands-on agent. I love to edit and helpwriters draw out their story. It's so satisfying to give writers suggestionsand have them say, "Yes, that's exactly what I was trying to say!" Ireally want to be involved in every part of the publishing process, fromediting to marketing, and help my clients turn ideas and talent into long-termcareers.

KV: What client work do you have coming out soon? What drewyou to those writers and/or projects?

HB: Since I'm so new, I don't have any projects coming outyet. I can tell you what I'm drawn to, though: big concepts, twisty plots, andstrong voices.

Let me break that down a little.

Big concepts: I love science fiction and fantasy because ofthe world building and the big ideas in the books. When I read query letters,I'm looking in large part for a story idea that takes my breath away. Thatdoesn't have to a be a speculative idea: the right romance or contemporary YAconcept has the same punch.

Twisty plots: I love the feeling when the threads of acomplex plot come together and suddenly you know where the story has to go--andthen it goes there. Revelations of secrets, hard choices and sacrifices, andanything Tolkien would call "eucatastrophe"--a happy ending pulledoff when things are at their absolute worst and all seems lost--are all verysatisfying to me. I really like to see conflicts be pushed as far as they canbe, and I love characters who are forced to make difficult choices inimpossible situations, where there's no right thing to do.

Strong voices: I think successful fiction really comes downto characters. A strong voice doesn't necessarily have to be snarky or funny,but I want to feel like the character is right there beside me.

KV: What genres do you represent? What genres do youdefinitely NOT represent?

HB: I represent all kinds of commercial fiction, especiallyscience fiction and fantasy, romance, historical fiction, and cozy mysteries. Ialso represent all genres of YA.

I'm a hard sell on thrillers, unless they're offbeat, and onanything that could be described as "hard-boiled." I'm also likelynot the right agent for a literary fiction project.

I'm looking for some select nonfiction, mostly about math orscience, or religion and spirituality, especially church history. I'm not theright agent for memoirs, though.

KV: What query pet peeves and/or pitfalls should writersavoid when querying you?

HB: There's no pet peeve that will make me put down a querywithout reading it. I make my decisions based on the quality of writing in thequery and the concept of the book. That said: I'm really not interested inhearing about what message you expect your book to teach. And, for YA queries,if you say that your book is appropriate for YA because it doesn't have badlanguage/mature themes, I'm likely to be skeptical that you're really familiarwith the YA market.

KV: You only want to see the query letter in a writer’sinitial contact, but several respected industry sites have advised writers toinclude a few sample pages at the bottom of every query, whether the agentasked for them or not. So if a writer goes ahead and adds those pages, do youfind that more assertive or obnoxious?

HB: It doesn't really make a difference to me. Usually I'vemade up my mind if I want to read more before I read the pages, based on theconcept and writing in the query. Occasionally, if I'm not sure, I'll look atthe pages, but in most cases, the writing isn't good enough to convince me torequest more. In my experience, it's more common for pages to convince me topass than to request--but if the writing doesn't catch me, I'll end up passingon a partial anyway, so in the long run it won't change anything.

KV: What are you looking for in a manuscript right now? Whatare you tired of seeing at the moment?

HB: Right now I'd love to find: a really sweet contemporaryromance, a high-concept women's fiction that revolves around one major event ina woman's life, and a big far-future space opera. But that's by no means acomplete list--I'm open for anything great that shows up.

I'm tired of YA voices that sound the same--a little snarky,a little insecure, but not really grounded in the personality of a particularcharacter. I'd love to see a really fresh voice in a YA contemporary orparanormal.

KV: What’s the best way to query you?

HB: Query me by e-mail at queryHannah@LizaDawsonAssociates.com,with just a query letter in the body of the e-mail. You can also send a paperquery if you prefer, per our submission guidelines atlizadawsonassociates.com/submission.html, but I prefer e-queries.

My submission guidelines are also available athannahbowman.tumblr.com/post/10824837781/submission-guidelines.

Thanks again, Ms. Bowman, for these responses. And good luckto everyone who decides to query! I imagine that will be a lot of you:)

But before you fire off those e-mails, feel free to ask anyquestions you may have for Ms. Bowman in the comments below. She’ll drop inperiodically throughout the day to answer whatever questions she finds downthere, leaving her answers in the comments as well. We’ll wrap things up at5:00 p.m. EDT (or 2:00 p.m. PDT), but until then, ask away!

Steve's Query and First Page

2011-10-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm half excited and half nervous to share Steve's query and first page with you. Gives me a new appreciation for how you "An Agent's Inbox" entrants must feel, and this isn't even a contest!

Anyway, here they are (for the time being, at least). Feel free to leave your feedback in the comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Steve's Query Twelve-year-old Ella Mae is a sensible girl. She believes inthe Good Lord Jesus Christ and tunes in once a week for that new television showI Love Lucy (but only when Dragnet isn’t on). So when some eggheadscientist starts spouting nonsense about deoxy-something-or-other and how hecan regenerate her auntie Mildred’s long-dead son from the blood on his old dogtags, Ella Mae doesn’t believe him. Or at least she doesn’t until a man stepsout of the bio-pod and drips yellow-green slime onto the floor.

Problem is, the man who steps out of that bio-pod isn’t hercousin. He’s a Japanese.

Ella Mae knows that she should hate him, but when he can’t rememberhis own name, she feels more pity than hate. Ella Mae gives the man a name and,like any good mama, vows to protect him from the world. She spits at the reverendfor calling him an abomination and even tells off her loose-lipped cousin for tryingto kiss him. But when the man’s memories resurface, memories about the war andwhat really happened on the day his blood splashed on her cousin’s dog tags,Ella Mae has to learn the hard way that she can’t protect him from some things.

[TITLE], complete at 52,000 words, is an MG historical with adash of science fiction. [Agent-specific comments]

I am a BYU graduate, a stay-at-home mom, and a blogger. Myblog, Mother. Write. (Repeat.), receives an average of 8,000 pageviews a month.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Steve's First Page Mama said it was plum foolishness to keep my cousin’s dogtags like that, with his blood still stuck between the ridges of his name.“Don’t know why Mildred won’t wash ’em,” Mama muttered one day while scrubbingdishes. “It’s like she thinks that blood will keep Robby alive somehow, likeit’ll keep him with her. And we both know that’s plum foolishness.” She shook asoapy finger in my face. “That’s foolishness, Ella Mae, and don’t let anyone tellyou any differently. Especially Auntie Mildred.”

But that was exactly what Mildred told me. “It’s notfoolishness, Ella Mae,” she said one day while sweeping floors. “It’s science.”She gave the broom a flick. “And one of these days, those eggheads who inventedthe atomic bomb are gonna figure out how to create life instead of just destroyit.”

I never told Auntie Mildred what Mama had said, and I nevertold Mama what Auntie Mildred had said, either. Those two already had enough tofight about, seeing as how they were sisters and all. In fact, when Mama answeredthe telephone that Saturday afternoon, I figured it was Auntie Mildred calling toresume their ongoing argument about Ajax.

But I was only half right.

“Settle down, Mildred,” Mama said, since she wasn’t the sortto stand for anyone’s shenanigans (especially Auntie Mildred’s). “Now what’sthis about Robby?”

I stopped chomping on my asparagus. Something told me I’d wantto hear every word of this particular conversation.

A Big Black Cat, an Interview, and a Little Bit of Steve

2011-10-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

First things first. Agented writer and blogging friend MindyMcGinnis--better known to most of you as bigblackcat97--has started a new querycritiquing series on her blog. Basically, you e-mail her your query, and she postsit on her blog and ~~sinks her claws into it~~ givesyou some constructive criticism. (In all seriousness, though, Mindy is one ofthe nicest people you’ll ever meet, so she dispenses her advice in the kindestpossible way.) Other readers share their thoughts with you as well, so you endup with several worthy opinions (which is good, since the truth generally lies somewhere in the middle).

This is especially helpful if you’re looking for feedbackbefore you reach the query stage (and heaven only knows we could all use alittle feedback then), so hop over to her blogand give The Saturday Slash a look-see. You do need to be a follower toparticipate, but I’m sure you’ll want to be one once you check out her site.

Next things next. I (finally) have another installment of “Interviewwith an Agent” in the pipeline, and better yet, it’s going to be INTERACTIVE.Hannah Bowman, the newest agent at Liza Dawson Associates, will be here thisFriday, October 28, to answer any questions you may have. Definitely plan onchecking in that day to catch Ms. Bowman’s responses to the usual questions--anda bunch more.

Lastly, I’ve felt a little bad that I always ask you guys toput your queries and first pages on the chopping block but never offer up myown. (Not that I would ever enter one of my own contests, but still.) So in thespirit of not cowering behind the chopping block any longer, I plan to post thecurrent drafts of Steve’s query and first page tomorrow morning, and I’d loveto hear your thoughts. If you have a minute, you might check those out aswell.

Well, I think that’s it. Anyone else know of any other excitinggoings-on around the blogosphere this week?

P.S. Don’t miss the winners Ms. Testerman picked from lastweek’s round of “An Agent’s Inbox.” Did one of your favorites make the list?

October's Winners!

2011-10-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Without further ado, I give you Ms. Testerman’s winners!

Runners up:

#7 LOOP

#9 UGLY STICK

#15 THE GEARS OF WAR

These entries win a request for the first 5 chapters and a synopsis!

First place: #2 SAVING ANDROMEDA

SAVING ANDROMEDA wins a full request!

Congratulations, winners! Please e-mail me atkvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit. And a bigthank-you to Ms. Testerman, our entrants, and anyone and everyone who critiqued this round. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say we appreciate your participation.

But lest you think the excitement is over, we have anaction-packed week coming up on the blog! Later this afternoon, I’ll post a few announcements.For now, you’ll have to settle for some hints: another query-critiquingopportunity, Steve’s query and first page, and another INTERACTIVE installmentof “Interview with an Agent.” Stay tuned!

Critique Away!

2011-10-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

The entries are up, and they're great! But I know our entrants are hoping for some feedback, so feel free to give them a little constructive criticism. ENTRANTS, PLEASE REMEMBER TO COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OF THE ENTRIES; everyone else, feel free to comment on any or all of them. And if you want to think like The Agent, consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" as you give your feedback.

I'll announce Ms. Testerman's winners and prizes next week, no later than Tuesday, October 25. Until then, have at it!

An Agent's Inbox #20

2011-10-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

My 82,000-word novel, Silhouette,is a young adult fantasy romance that combines the love story of Stephanie Meyer’sTwilight with the fantasy world ofNeil Gaiman’s Stardust. And becauseyou are actively seeking novels in this genre, I thought we might be a goodmatch.

After her mother’s death, seventeen year old Leira Sky has noother option but to go live at the mansion where her only aunt works. It’s herethat Leira meets Tristan Harper. From their first encounter she finds herselfoddly drawn to him. His otherworldly beauty, his pointed ears, his eyes thatchange colors--it all adds to his mysterious allure. But when an unexplainedincident happens in his presence, Leira can’t help but think there’s more toTristan than meets the eye. Determined to find out what he’s hiding from her,she trails him into the forest behind his home. And there, she stumbles uponsomething he never meant for her to see--the way into his world. Watching as hepresses his hand against the trunk of an old tree, she sees a gap form beneathhis palm--a gap just big enough for a person to fit through. And, when Tristanducks down and disappears inside the hole, Leira makes a decision that willforever seal her fate with his. She follows him.

Emerging in a land called D’or, Leira finds herself faced withcreatures from folktales and mythologies including a Pombero and a Leshycouple. But it isn’t until she sees Tristan again, that Leira realizes the severityof what she’s done. Will Tristan be able to forgive her for discovering hissecret? And will he care enough to protect her when her fate begins to unravelbefore his eyes?

Told entirely from the viewpoint of the teenage heroine, thisemotionally driven story is filled with lush descriptions and captivating adventureswhile still retaining the delicate voice of a girl in love.

If you would like to see the entire manuscript, I’d be happyto e-mail it at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I lookforward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

E.R.

SILHOUETTE

Driving down the old dirt road, I stole a glance in the rearview mirror at the boxes stacked on the back seat. Everything I was able to bringwith me, I had. Everything else, well, I’d already said my goodbyes. I grippedthe steering wheel and looked through the windshield at the branches of thetrees lining the narrow lane. They were reaching out to touch the sides of thecar like fingers lightly stroking the cheeks of a delicate face. And dark greenivy was running along the sides of the car, keeping steady pace with me.

I looked over at the empty passenger seat and imagined Mamawas there with me. I could picture her watching the scrolling green outside herwindow, unconsciously twisting her tiny fingers through her hair, sunlightsparkling off her pale skin.

I personally didn’t think I looked very much like my mother.Yes, we both had long brown hair and her eyes were only a few shades darkerthen my own honey colored ones. But Mama’s features were alluring andbeautiful. She had a smile that was contagious. People tended to gravitatetoward her like moths to a flame. Me; I was just happy floating around in theshadow of her bright light.

But last year when Mama got sick, a silent fog crept overour lives. And suddenly our roles had reversed. Now I was the one pulling thequilt over her when she fell asleep in the living room chair.

An Agent's Inbox #19

2011-10-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Mrs. Testerman,

Suburban teen Sophie MacNeil only wants two things in life:to dance and to visit Paris--hersecretive mother’s hometown. When Sophie finally gets an offer to spend thesummer in the City of Light,she leaps at the chance. Once there, however, a strange woman attempts to stealSophie’s mother’s gold medallion, triggering an impossible journey backward intime.

Now in 1895, Sophie is mistaken for Rachel Lazare, thedaughter of an affluent Jewish family. In addition to a roof over her head andquiche in her belly, living temporarily as Rachel has perks, like meeting thehandsome and passionate Alexandre, the intended fiancé for Rachel’s oldersister.

The strange woman succeeds in stealing Sophie’s mysteriousheirloom, threatening Sophie’s comfortable life with the Lazares. Sophie mustretrieve her medallion and unlock its secrets before her affection forAlexandre destroys the life of a friend from her own time and permanentlychanges her future.

SOPHIE is a young adult manuscript complete at 68,000 words.While SOPHIE can stand alone, it is the first in a planned trilogy that willfollow the women of Sophie’s family in reverse chronology.

I was recently commissioned to write a non-fiction book fora leveled reader program. A member of SCBWI, I am also a French teacher and anavid traveler. I studied in Parisduring college, and focused on 19th century French literature.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I have pasted thefirst 250 words below.

V.T.

SOPHIE

I fall out of the darkness and my feet slam onto thepavement. My ankles fail and I cry out in pain and surprise.

I squint at the lights shining from streetlamps and rushingcars. Music blasts, car horns blare, people talk, laugh, sing. I touch mytemple and groan. Everything is too much.

“Est-ce que tout vabien, mademoiselle? Avez-vous besoin d'aide?” a man asks, kneeling at myside.

Why is he speaking French? Is everything okay, as he asked?My whole body hurts, but especially my ankle. I can’t remember how I got here,or where here is.

I check out my surroundings and recognize the plaza hemmedin by five- and six-storey buildings sporting arched windows, dominated by abuilding with more columns than I can count, winged gold statues at each cornerof the roof, and a green dome. Two French flags billow in the still air. The Paris Opera.

Okay, deep breaths. I’m in Paris. Mom's birthplace.

My head feels stuffed with feathers and it only gets worsethe more I try to remember. I frown at the long, dark skirt I’m wearing.Pointy-toed black ankle boots? No wonder my ankle is weak and swollen. Along-sleeved cream shirt scratches my neck. What happened to my shorts and flipflops?

I stand, vaguely wondering where my good samaritan went,when a necklace bounces against my chest. I grab the gold medallion and stareat the engraved pattern. Memories blast into me, pushing out the feathersstuffing my mind.

An Agent's Inbox #18

2011-10-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

(Redacted)

An Agent's Inbox #17

2011-10-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

Sixteen-year-old Avery West's newfound family can shut downPrada at the Champs-Elysees when they want to shop in peace, and can just aseasily order a bombing when they want to start a war. They are part of apowerful and dangerous secret society called the Elite and they need Avery as apawn--or want her dead.

To decipher the ancient mystery that’s putting her life indanger, Avery must follow a trail of clues from the crypts of Paristo the back alleys of Istanbulwith the two boys the family sent to kidnap her. But when the trail of cluesexposes a secret that might plunge the world into World War 3, she won’t onlyhave to betray her new family to stop it. She’ll have to choose between the boywho might help her save the world and the one she’s falling in love with.

Though it can stand alone, my 93,000 word YA Thriller THEELITE is meant as the first in a trilogy. I am currently a freelance writer andrecently spent time as a bookstore events and marketing coordinator, where Ilearned everything from the importance of co-op to the futility of wearingheels for three days straight at BEA.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
M.H.

THE ELITE

“It’s not flattering, it’s stalking. Jack Basil is totallystalking you.” My best friend Lara ripped open a handful of sugar packets anddumped them in her coffee.

“Could you say it a little louder?” I felt my face flush andlooked around. It was pouring outside, so half the school was crowded into thecafe where I worked instead of lounging on the patio at Burt’s like usual. “Andit is not. He--”

“He knew your name. And he asked me how long you’ve livedhere, and where your dad is, and why you’re homeschooled.” Lara took a sip ofher coffee and made a face. “It’s not like he asked me if you have a date toprom or something. That would be normal. This was not normal.”

It wasn’t normal, but Lara was wrong--Jack Basil askingabout me was definitely flattering. EmmaBeth Porter, the leader of theself-proclaimed Sexy Seven, had dumped her boyfriend to ask Jack to prom, onlya few days after Jack had moved here. He’d turned her down. No one turned downEmmaBeth.

And now, he was asking Lara about me.

Just then, the door jingled, a gust of cool, rain-scentedbreeze blew inside, and Jack Basil himself walked into the cafe. A shiver randown my spine that I tried to tell myself was just from the cold.

Jack shook the rain out of his hair, which was thecolor of espresso and slightly too long, and made wavy by the storm.

An Agent's Inbox #16

2011-10-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

Chase Garrety only knows his name because it was coded on amicrochip found under his scalp. He remembers nothing before he stumbled acrossthe savage landscape of the planet Trucon and into the home of a troubledorphan named Parker, who offers help with one hand and a fist with the other. Abattle of wills sets the boys against each other, but when an unknown enemyattacks their planet, they must rely on each other to survive.

Traveling through space to find a man who can help themboth, Chase and Parker enter an alien underworld where their choices lead themto the truth behind the Trucon attack. When Chase finally finds people whorecognize him, they try to kill him, and after he runs through a solid door, herealizes that there may be more to his past than he could even guess. As theboys uncover more secrets of interplanetary corruption and betrayal, Chase mustlearn to use his strange ability to solve the puzzle of who--or what--he reallyis.

FULCRUM is a 70,000-word upper middle grade novel. I wouldbe happy to forward the complete manuscript at your request.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
R.S.

FULCRUM

The screaming was so loud it blocked out all thought. Ittook a few moments before the boy realized the sound was coming from his ownparched mouth, and that it was not so much a scream as a hoarse squeak.

He dragged in a great whoop of air and sat up, eyes buggingout, head jerking around like it was strung on wires. A wide yellow skystretched overhead, but the rest of world swam around him in a hot blur. Dreadfanned out in the pit of his stomach.

Something had gone terribly wrong.

He needed to get help. A black wave of pain crashed downinside his skull as he lurched to his feet, sending exploding stars across hisvision. He staggered a few dizzy steps before dropping to his hands and knees,and drew in a deep, slow breath. He had to get back up. He had to stop thisthing before it was too late.

A high-pitched noise rose and fell in the background.Looking around, he located a grey blob--possibly a building. He slid a handacross the scratchy ground toward it, then a knee, driven by the now-frantic,undefined fear. He could still fix this. He had to.

Light pressure landed on his back. He turned his head.Squinting, he made out the fuzzy outline of a face, the black gaping hole of amouth flapping open and closed.

An Agent's Inbox #15

2011-10-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

I’m seeking representation for THE GEARS OF WAR, a 60, 000word YA steampunk set in fantasy versions of Chinaand Japan.

Ever since his sister died in an airship bombing raid,Kiyoshi has been keeping his grief-maddened mother stable by masquerading asthe dead girl, clothing and mannerism including. When his mother unexpectedlydies, he’s left a very gender-confused teenager.

Determined to find the man within himself, Kiyoshi heads tothe war front as the pilot of a mechanical steam weapon. His plan is hindered bya samurai who, believing that Kiyoshi is a girl in disguise, is intent onprotecting ‘her’ from both the enemy and their fellow soldiers’ attentions.Kiyoshi is unable to discern if the attraction he feels for the samurai is realor a product of the years he spent pretending to be a girl.

Kiyoshi soon learns that the enemy has been sacrificingtheir own people to animate war golems with their souls. He meets a runaway golemon the battlefield, a former human girl named Jiao who managed to free herselffrom the magic that keeps golems bound to obey their master.

Together they embark on a quest to find a dragon to granttheir deepest desire. Jiao wants to be a human girl and Kiyoshi is starting tothink that’s what he wants to be, too.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
A.L.

THE GEARS OF WAR

Every morning, Kiyoshi rose from sleep as a boy with messyhair, a slim frame and, usually, an urge to pee.

Every morning, he rolled up the futon and knelt before theshrine honoring his sister’s memory, gazing at her sunny face and burning incensefor her. Aiko, the name on the picture said. Aiko, meaning beloved. Beloved ofan entire family, jewel in the eyes of her parents and role model in the eyesof her little brother.

Every morning, he brushed his long hair until it laystraight and still against his back, dipped fingertips into bowls of cosmeticsto outline eyes and lips and slid into one of his sister’s kimono.

Every morning, Kiyoshi entered the kitchen as a dead girl.

“Aiko!” her mother said, waving her chopsticks. “You’ll belate for work again. Hurry and eat.”

“Yes, mother. Sorry.” Aiko’s lips were always quick to smilewith infectious cheer; they spread now in sheepish apology and the smile wasreturned.

Kneeling at the low table across from her mother, Aiko beganher assault on the feast spread before her: miso soup, steamed rice, a rolledomelet, a bowl of fermented soybeans and various pickled vegetables. She ate asif to fill a bottomless hole, wielding her lacquered chopsticks like a weaponto slay her breakfast.

“Eat, eat,” her mother said. “You’re a growing girl and youhave a day of hard work ahead.”

An Agent's Inbox #14

2011-10-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

Chelsea Park is pretty sure there's nothing worse thangetting kicked off the dance team for a hazing she didn't commit. Wait. Scratchthat. Getting kicked off dance team and then being forced to spend senior yearin drama class to fill her elective credit is worse. And this social downgradeisn't just a blow to her reputation; she needs to get to the bottom of thishazing or her dream of dancing in college is done.

But it turns out theater class isn’t the nerd parade she expected.Chelseaactually starts to feel at home on stage with the colorful drama kids, despitethe fact that the sister of her “hazing victim” is out to make her life h***.Even more surprising, she’s crushing on the adorkable theater boy who steppedup to save her from drama class's biggest bully.

Now Chelseais busting her butt to save her reputation. Not only does she need to clear hername, she also desperately wants to keep her new thespian life (and boyfriend)a secret from her popular friends. Everything rides on Chelsea discovering the truth about thehazing, but she finds that exposing what happened could actually cut her offfrom her past life, not bring her back to it. And giving up her reign as campusqueen and making peace with her inner dork are both a lot harder than she everexpected.

AVOIDING DRAMA is a contemporary YA complete at 80,000words. I am a member of SCBWI and YALITCHAT. On a personal note, I am a hugefan of your client list and count Maureen Johnson and Stephanie Perkins amongmy influences when it comes to writing contemporary YA.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
J.L.

AVOIDING DRAMA

So, no one ever came out and said bad things would neverhappen to people like me, but, as ridiculous as it might sound, that’s what Ialways thought.

But here I was, having the worst bad day ever. I mean, itdoesn’t get much worse than standing at the door to the school theater on thesecond week of my senior year, trying to delay walking into the freaking dramaclass I was now being forced to take.

Well, not for me, anyway.

The only way I knew to get into the theater was through thelarge doors at the front, but those doors were locked. I discovered this afterseveral minutes of shaking, pounding, and kicking them when I couldn’t get themopen. It wasn’t until my third circle around the building that I found the sideentrance (down a ramp, totally hidden to the outside world), and now I lurkedin front of the mystery door that was hopefully unlocked, my mind graspingdesperately for any excuse to keep me from walking into this class.

I was in the middle of a yoga breath when the door swungopen. I jumped out of the way, and the lanky blonde guy with glasses who waswalking out jumped as well. We locked eyes for a fleeting second, then he shothis gaze down to the ground and we both let out short, uncomfortable laughs.“Sorry, Chelsea,”he mumbled to the pavement. “I didn’t know you were there."

An Agent's Inbox #13

2011-10-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Kate Schafer Testerman,

The first day of school sucks. Jonathan Stevens expectedbecoming a social outcast, getting lost in the halls, and embarrassing himselfover and over in front of cute girls. But falling face-first into a giant holecaused by an earthquake? Not so much.

Waking in the underbelly of the earth, Jonathan discovers he’sbeen kidnapped by a pain-in-the-butt sorceress who insists he is an immortaland he's on the top of a very long hit list. But Jonathan isn't like any otherimmortal. He was created to save the sorceress' realm from the Master, anoverlord with the power to locate immortals strong enough to challenge himbefore they are old enough to know how.

The sorceress says he possesses the one power that willdestroy the Master, but neither her nor Jonathan know what it is or how totrigger it. When the sorceress is captured, Jonathan learns from her alliesthat the Master has discovered the means to control mortals as well--and heintends to test that power on Jonathan's parents. To destroy the most dangerousman in two realms, Jonathan will have to risk his life by triggering an unknownpower too early. And if he fails, his family--as well as every other mortal andimmortal in existence--will suffer for it.

The Privileged is a middle grade fantasy complete at 82,000 words.Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
C.M.C.

THE PRIVILEGED

School can only be defined one way to Jonathan Stevens: foreign.Walking up to the unfamiliar doors was not just nerve racking, it wascompletely horrifying. Each step felt like a boulder crashing down into hisstomach. By the time he got to the top of the staircase, he felt as if he couldcollapse from the weight.

He tried to suck in a deep breath to build his confidence,but could not find any air. How ridiculous it was to be afraid of something socommon and he knew he needed to get over it. After all, he would be facing thisbuilding for the next three years.

Finding the air again, Jonathan took a cautious step forwardand was instantly pulled into the traffic of high school. He was jostled arounduntil he found a small opening where he could melt into the flow. There weretoo many people to consider giving him a second glance and he couldn’t findanyone to focus on either, so instead he brought his gaze to the hallwayitself.

There had to be a sign, some indication of where the frontoffice was, but he found nothing like that. Colorful posters adorned the walls withsmiling faces and big words campaigning for student government. Pictures ofwinning debate teams and national champion dancers hung from the ceiling onlong banners. Fliers littered the floors advertising the upcoming play, theschool prom, and last minute order forms for graduation gowns. As if startingpublic school for the first time wasn’t intimidating enough, he had to bethrown into it in May.

An Agent's Inbox #12

2011-10-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

Seventeen-year-old Heiren Delaire should’ve killed thecaptain before he sprouted claws.

As a peasant raised in the wretched slums of Andumir, she’snever set much store in fairytales. But now a creature from stories, the demonArawn, has possessed the captain of the kingdom’s guard and slaughteredcountless innocents, including Heiren's father. With Andumir falling and thenobles’ swords and spears doing nothing to quell Arawn’s fiery wrath, Heirentakes it upon herself to find a solution.

If demons are real, maybe the sword Erhistaut is, too.Legend tells that the demons forged it to store their powers before thestar-born angels cast them to the sky. The sword is the only weapon that canexterminate the possessed captain before his unquenchable fire envelops theland in shadow.

Heiren just needs to find it.

THE DEMON SWORD is a 75,000-word fantasy novel for youngadults. I have included the first 250 words below. Thank you for your time andattention.

Sincerely,
S.D.

THE DEMON SWORD

In the dim lamplight of the cabin, the man’s fingers curledaround his dagger. He slammed its point into the edge of a piece of parchment,pinning it to the table.

In the shadows behind him, Heiren Delaire watched her fatherwith uncertainty. The cold of the night raised goosebumps on her skin. Sheshivered. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t answer.

She clutched her arm with trembling fingers and steppedforward, letting her green eyes trail over the black ink as it curved andflowered into lakes, rivers, and mountains. A map. The tiny dashes trailed fromher home in the Kadian Mountains northward to the walled city of Beniin, and farther.

A trail to a sword of miracles.

Of course. Her father would be obsessed with a thing oflegend. A sword that doesn’t even exist.“The map’s a fake, you know.” Heiren combed her tangled hair with callousedfingers, watching him. “I don’t understand why you bought it.”

Still he did not reply.

“You want to use the sword to bring Mother back, don’t you?”

He turned his head a little, and greasy black hair fell overhis eyes. He listened now, she knew, but refused to acknowledge her. Like hedid when he fell from his depression into one of his manic states. When hestopped listening to reason.

Heiren folded her arms.

"You're a fool if you think Erhistaut can bring backthe dead. The demons forged it; why would they make it useful for anythinggood?"

An Agent's Inbox #11

2011-10-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

I discovered kt literary through your blog, Daphne!. Youreeled me in with the shoes. However, it’s your explanations of what works in anovel (or query) and what doesn’t that I find so valuable.

Lily Josephine Carter can’t wait to meet her first fairy-inbroad daylight, with a small crowd nearby (just until they know each otherbetter). Lily and her best friend since Kindergarten spend every recess hidingpiles of shiny stones to lure fairies to the playground. Two weeks into thirdgrade, her best friend doesn’t believe in fairies anymore; she likes unicornsnow.

Lily makes a fairy trap so dazzling, it puts Barbie’s DreamHouse to shame. She’s positive that one peek at a real fairy will get her bestfriend back. After an unfortunate accident destroys her trap and knocks out herfirst loose tooth (finally), Lily can’t face another day of school without herbest friend.

Her older sister reluctantly offers to help her make a newtrap. With her baby tooth in hand, Lily knows exactly which fairy to trapfirst. Daisy’s plan only uses string and super glue. Except, tooth fairies aresmarter than that.

After a near success (or failure as Daisy calls it), Lilyloses her fairy finding partner again. Turns out she’ll need the help of thethird grade nose picker, who just might be more of a hero than a nuisance.

FAIRY FINDERS is an 11,250 word, early middle grade novel.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

A.O.

FAIRY FINDERS

Chapter 1: Lily Josephine Carter Hearts Fairies

Lily yanked Skylar behind their favorite oak tree on theplayground. The two girls kneeled behind the gnarled old trunk, knees touching.

Lily leaned in toward her best friend, “I found fairypictures in my mom’s closet yesterday,” she whispered.

Skylar nodded and twisted the hem of her skirt.

Lily grabbed her by the shoulders. “Not drawings, realpictures.”

Skylar gasped.

“The last section is taped shut and it says ‘beware,’” Lilysaid in a spooky voice.

“What was in it?” Skylar asked, breathless.

“I was hiding under the clothes with a flashlight. That’snot a good place for reading secret pages."

Skylar eased back and sighed.

“I was alone,” Lily repeated, “but I snuck a picture to showyou.”

She pulled out a grainy black and white photo from her backpocket. Skylar snatched it away and smoothed it across her lap. “Wow. The wingslook like spiderwebs,” Skylar said, tracing the shape of the wispy wings.

“I know,” Lily squealed. “Some look like dragonfly wings andsome have feathers like birds.” She pulled another piece of paper from herpocket.

This time Skylar squealed. “You brought me one, too!”

“Rose made you a copy.”

Skylar touched one of the web-like wings, accidentallysmudging the tip. Even the tiny nose and lips were drawn perfectly. “Wish Icould draw like this.”

Lily nodded. Rose was Lily’s four year old sister who drewbetter than an art teacher. Both girls kept a notebook of Rose’s fairydrawings.

An Agent's Inbox #10

2011-10-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Schafer Testerman,

Becoming part of thelittle girl's life was supposed to increase Emma's college options, not takethem all away.

Everything Emma Francis owns fits in a garbage bag. Don’t youdare pity her. She’s survived the foster care system and is finally eighteen, freeto make her own decisions. It’s about time.

The plan going forward is simple: graduate high school, go tocollege, get a job in marketing. Unfortunately, due to the foster-care-shuffle,Emma hasn’t stayed in one place long enough to put anything other than decentgrades on her college applications. Community service is a must.

Her friend suggests she volunteer at her church and it is thereshe meets Gigi, a blonde hair, blue eyed, opinionated little girl, who is morethan willing to be Emma’s charity case. What’s supposed to be an ice cream everycouple weeks, turns into an unexplained desire to make Gigi happy.

As Gigi wiggles her way under Emma’s hard shell, someone elsepokes through the cracks. Emma is far from a damsel in distress but when she’sattacked behind the diner, her knight in shining t-shirt comes to her rescue.She never expects it to be South High’s quarterback, known to her simply asBurger and Fries, an order he delivers with a charming smile every week. But there’smore to the boy than a strong appetite and a great throwing arm. Sam morphs fromfriend, to special friend to boyfriend so slowly Emma doesn’t even realize herguard is faulty.

Emma’s terrified of the soft, chocolaty center under her hardcandy coating but she can’t deny she loves him. Maybe a happy ending is in thecards after all.

Emma's life plan is in full swing until Gigi’s sorry excusefor a father kills himself in a drunk driving accident, leaving the little girlwith no one. Gigi is headed for hell, the foster system Emma lived through,unless someone steps in and saves her.

Emma must decide if she's willing to change everything she'sgot planned to save Gigi from the life she was forced to endure.

All She Needs is Love is Contemporary YA complete at 68,000words.

I am a twenty five year old, Chemical Engineer by degree whohas found a stronger calling as a fiction writer and singer in a classic rockband. The inspiration for All She Needs is Love comes from my experienceas a Big Sister in the Big Brothers, Big Sisters program. The premise startedwith a question. If my Lil’ Sister Payge had no family, would I alter my lifeand take her in as my own? The answer is a resounding yes.

I love a number of the works you represent includingStephanie Perkin's, Lola and the Boy NextDoor and Ransom Riggs', MissPeregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. I read about the KT LiteraryRetreat and think it's wonderful that you not only work on representing yourauthor's work but also make an effort to build a relationship with yourauthors.

Thank you for your time and consideration and I look forwardto hearing from you.

K.L.

ALL SHE NEEDS IS LOVE

“Happy birthday to me,” I mumble as I walk out the frontdoor holding a garbage bag with all my possessions. Every last one fits in thisbag. Pathetic, I know.

When you’re a foster kid, you do a lot of borrowing. Younever really own anything. So, I guess I’m lucky I even have something to putin my garbage bag.

I’ve been preparing for this day for a while though. Whenyou turn eighteen the state washes there hands of you. Jan was nice. She let mestay an extra day. Didn’t want to kick me out on my actual birthday.

I’ve been working since I was sixteen, saving every penny Ican. I’m not gonna end up like those other foster kids who take to the streetwhen they officially become an adult. I’ve got big plans: graduate high school,four year college, a job in marketing.

“Emma!” little Jimmy calls from the porch. I turn and lookat the tyke. I am gonna miss him, even if he did steal most of my socks.

“What’s up little man?”

“Where ya goin’?” he asks as he runs down the front steps.“I mean, can I come visit ya sometimes?”

I ruffle his hair and put on a smile. “Course you can littleman. I’m not goin’ far. You know the diner where I work?” He gives me a bignod. “Ms. Shepherd is letting me live in the apartment above it. You can visitme anytime you want.”

He wraps his little arms around my leg. I can’t help butcringe. I don’t like affection, makes me feel awkward.

An Agent's Inbox #9

2011-10-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

Greetings! I am seeking representation for my YAcontemporary novel, UGLY STICK.

Seventeen-year-old April Somerfield is a shy, self-loathingmisfit who would blend in with the wallpaper, if only the wallpaper were alittle less attractive. April's life is even more frustrating when she comparesherself to her gorgeous, confident mother Diane, and her cute, feisty bestfriend Ani. Nowhere is April’s ugly-duckling status more obvious, though, thanat Prescott High School, where she is surrounded byoverachievers like the practically perfect Vivienne.

When a project for school sends April on the hunt for hermother’s mysteriously missing high school yearbooks, she and Ani discover a bigfamily secret. It turns out that being touched “with an ugly stick” is asurprisingly literal occurrence in April’s family tree. A midwife’s vengefulcurse of ugliness has been transferred from mother to daughter for over twohundred years. However, nobody else in April’s family has had to live with thecurse in the age of digital photos and Facebook…so when she seizes anopportunity to get even with some cruel gossip by passing the curse on a littleearly, April must decide if becoming beautiful on the outside is worth givingup the truly beautiful person she would otherwise become.

UGLY STICK is complete at 50,000 words. I have included thefirst page below, and I would be delighted to share the manuscript with you. Ilook forward to a reply at your convenience. This is a simultaneous submission.Thank you for your consideration!

Best regards,
J.G.

UGLY STICK

“And now for everyone’s favorite part of Honors English…”Ms. Kearns intoned with a grin, “example reading!”

Judging by the apathetic classroom reaction, “favorite part”was a bit of a misnomer. Ms. Kearns was a brand-new teacher, fresh out ofcollege, and she had a remarkable way of pulling our class into engagingdiscussions of Shakespeare, Shelley, and even Dickens--my personal favorite. Butnobody really liked example reading, the Russian roulette of criticism,especially on a Friday afternoon.

My personal dislike of the practice was entirely selfish. Ihated having anyone but my best friend Ani or my parents read my stuff, eventhough if somebody asked me what I did best, I would probably, hesitantlyanswer, “Writing?"

Example readings were anonymous, but whenever the other twodozen students in my class looked over a work, they picked it to pieces. Iusually remained silent, jotting down notes. Invisibility was a trait I hadperfected in my first two years at Prescott High, and junior year would be nodifferent.

Ms. Kearns passed out print-outs of the example. “This wasone of the prompts from last week about different storytelling lenses--imaginingyou were writing the introduction to your memoir.”

My ribcage seized as I recognized the first few lines on thepage. She’d chosen mine. For Heaven’s sake, why?

I had known it would happen sooner or later--Ms. Kearnsalways gave me high grades on my essays and papers. However, I had never gottenup the nerve to tell her that having my own work critiqued would be theemotional equivalent of trimming my toenails with a paper shredder. I inchedlower in my seat, praying that my face wasn’t as red as it felt.

An Agent's Inbox #8

2011-10-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

As you represent strong authors such as Thomas E. Sniegoskiand Maureen Johnson, I hoped you might be interested in my YA book of fiction,MIRANDA DEPAYENS AND THE SPEAR OF DESTINY.

MAD. That’s what friends call sixteen-year-old MirandaDepayens. It may be Miranda’s initials, but lately she wonders if it’s not hermental status. The haunting vision that plagues her sanity now comes morefrequent and violent.

Never having met her biological father, Miranda lives with aneglectful mother and step-father, and longs for the day she graduates highschool. She has but two and half more years of hell to survive, and Miranda canstart living.

Within the blink of any eye, her plans are changed...

by the note...

by the ring...

by the Templars, and most of all...

by the Solomon Priest.

Raised an atheist, Miranda soon comes to question all shehas ever believed, when learning of her family’s legacy. Miranda takes anemotional, spiritual, and magical journey, as she finally lets down her guard,and allows herself to trust those around her.

Now, Miranda must risk losing the love and acceptance thatshe has found, in order to help the Templars and the Solomon Priest recover theSpear of Destiny from the evil demon, and send him back to hell, before hechanges the course of history.

MIRANDA DEPAYENS AND THE SPEAR OF DESTINY is book one of theSolomon Priest Series. The novel is complete at around 77,000 words, and I havebegun writing the second book of this series, as well as, compiling a book fromthe diary entries of the Solomon Priest's battles against evil.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
G.S.

MIRANDA DEPAYENS AND THE SPEAR OF DESTINY

The forest was ominously silent, but for the pounding of herrunning feet, and the occasional snap of a twig. Every so often, a thorn wouldcatch, and rip at her clothes or delicate skin. Her heart was beating so hardthat she expected, at any moment, her chest to burst. Now, with every breath,air stung her lungs, but she dare not stop, for fear of loosing this battle.She didn't hear the beast, but felt him--felt his presence like a sharp icicle scratchingand stabbing at her back. Right on her heels, he lingered. At any second of hischoosing, all he had to do was reach-out, grab her, and her young life would beextinguished. He toyed with her, but there remained a chance she couldout-smart him.

Terror and Adrenaline carried her on legs of an athlete.Sweat that moments ago ran down her forehead, now stung her eyes, andthreatened an escape. The woods stood dense, dark, and humid. If not for themoonlight that trickled in from between the trees, she would have beencompletely blind. A person could easily get lost in here, and never findcivilization, but finding her way out was not a concern. All concentration hadto be on looking for obstacles in her path, and staying alive. One slip and sheknew she would be dead.

Giving up was not in her nature.

An Agent's Inbox #7

2011-10-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Schafer Testerman,

At a school where Quantum Paradox 101 is a required courseand history field trips are literal, sixteen year-old time traveler Bree Bennisexcels…at screwing up.

After Bree botches a solo midterm to the 21st century byaccidentally taking a boy hostage (a teensy snafu), she stands to lose herscholarship. But when Bree sneaks back to talk the kid into keeping his yapshut, she doesn’t go back far enough. The boy, Finn, now three years older andhot as a solar flare, is convinced he’s in love with Bree, or rather, a futureversion of her that doesn’t think he’s a complete pain in the arse. To makematters worse, she inadvertently transports him to the 23rd century.

Once home, Bree discovers that a recent rash of accidents ather school are anything but accidental. Someone is attacking time travelers. AsBree and her temporal tagalong uncover seemingly unconnected clues--a brokenbracelet, a missing data file, the art heist of the millennium--that lead tothe person responsible, she alone has the knowledge to piece the puzzletogether. Knowledge only one other person has. Her future self.

But when those closest to her become the next victims, Breerealizes the attacker is willing to do anything to stop her. In the past,present, or future.

I'm a big fan of Carrie Harris's BAD TASTE IN BOYS andbelieve you might like my heroine's similar smart feistiness. Complete at 80Kwords, LOOP is a science fiction novel foryoung adults. I am a member of SCBWI and an active participant in our local chapter’scritique group. Thank you so much for your consideration.

Sincerely,
K.A.

LOOP

Hitting the ground is the hardest part. Nine times out often, it’s dirt or gravel. But all it takes is that one time on concrete, orworse, asphalt, to send even the most experienced Shifter into a panic.

My feet slammed into cobblestone. Muskets cracked and echoeddown the alley where I’d landed. Acrid gunpowder stung my nostrils, searing mythroat as I fought back a cough. My hair caught in the warm brick wall behindme, twanging and snapping as I lowered myself into a crouch. The gunfire grewlouder and louder, bouncing off both sides of the narrow passageway, so Icouldn’t tell which direction it was coming from.

Where was I? Valley Freakin’ Forge?

If so, my dang transporter had missed the target by wellover two centuries. Good grief. How hard was a 23rd to 21st Shift? Wyck musthave set a new personal record. He would pay for this when I got back.

If I got back.

Puffs of fresh gunsmoke clouded the few rays of sun in thedim alley. I slipped behind an empty barrel and pulled out my QuantCom. A Virginia address andinstructions popped up. “Bree Bennis, pre-Tricentinniel midterm. Deposit packagecontents on Muffy van Sloot’s grave with following message: ‘There’s no timelike the past.’”

So help me, Ithought, if this is for a dead cat, headswill roll.

An Agent's Inbox #6

2011-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman:

A humanlike girl empowered with a strange affinity toplants, arrives on earth to defend our garden against invasion. Nameless atfive, to learn English she deciphers Dr Seuss and christens herself, Sam I Am.At seven she devours the complete works of Shakespeare. At ten she develops astrategy to end world hunger and disease. When older she plans to attend highschool, desiring a Romeo to accompany her Juliet to California’sAncient Bristlecone Pine Forest, where hermatriarch the 4,768 year-old Methuselah tree will secrete a deflowering pheromone--soshe can mate.

But at thirteen, humans discover her landing pod and removeher cloned little ones. More humans, wearing green with Yertle the Turtleshells on their heads hunt for Sam. She escapes helped by Brooke a girl offourteen with leukemia. Sam starts to cure the rot circulating in Brooke’s redsap. Then stops. A message from the ship she calls Mother advances hertimetable, leaving her five days to attract a male pollinator and reachMethuselah. Now with soldiers and aliens closing in, Sam’s fiber is tornbetween: saving her saplings, her wilting friend, or Mother’s airborne deliveryplan for immunizing humans against the alien infestation before she turnseighteen-days-old and her spore sack explodes.

PLANTED (I CAN WATER MYSELF) is a 70,000-word young adultscience fiction. I was the founder and president of Strategy First, a worldwidepublisher of entertainment software for twenty years. Our franchise titles,Disciples, a fantasy, and Jagged Alliance, an adventure role-playing release,sold over one million copies worldwide respectively and were geared to a youngadult audience.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
D.M.

PLANTED (I CAN WATER MYSELF)

Thorns spiked from the tips of my twigs, as I scurried alongthe branch, prepared to drop onto the Humans to save my little ones, but Istopped, letting eye water fall to the earth instead of me. My palms flew tosilence the waste.

Mother said have patience, watch, learn and when it hurts,think about something else. “Stone had been known to move and trees to speak,”I whispered Macbeth. The Oak, sensing my stress, released a wave of calmingpheromones.

If he lived today, would William welcome us?

A Human covered in white from head to roots, plodded fromthe dull colored cocoon enveloping my landing pod. He carried a box. He carriedmy children. Children was their word. Think about something else. The firstmutilation I deciphered to learn their language in the dead forest namedlibrary. Its words helped when a female worker had asked my name.

“Sam I am,” I said.

She laughed. “Where’s your Mother, Sam?”

I pointed upward.

She touched my limb. “Oh, you poor dear.”

I almost forgot. Never reveal Mother orbited Earth.

No, thinking of the genocide called books did not help. Iimagined my tiny boxed buds, screaming words from Yertle the Turtle andGertrude McFuzz. “I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down hereat the bottom we, too, should have rights.”

Leaves crackled underneath. My stomata knotted. More humans,green like the forest, wearing turtle shells on their heads, prodded the busheswith stingers--hunting me.

An Agent's Inbox #5

2011-10-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman,

Whether Eri’s link to the creatures is a gift or a curseremains undecided. Either way, it will kill her.

Driven by a physical and emotional connection to the beastsplaguing the planet, Eri finds herself running without fear toward oncomingdeath. Knowing that whatever beckons from the darkness craves her flesh is notenough to stop her. The calling is too powerful. A Protector emerges from theshroud of night and beheads the oncoming beast a sword’s length away from Eri’sdemise--the secret guardians exist.

After another episode of the calling draws her into theforbidden, Eri finds that she is not the only one with the link; a boy her age,Finnley, seeks the beasts too. Their secret bond forges an unexpectedfriendship giving Eri a way to handle the building emotional turmoil. Overtime, Eri and Finnley realize they hold the innate qualifications to become oneof the mysterious Protectors watching over their village, but since Eri has theunfortunate turn of luck being born a girl, she is stuck with the ability tosave her people without permission to do so. Only men can be Protectors.

Eri must hide the inner chaos and follow a path she does notwant while the path that has chosen her repeatedly threatens her life.

Finnley receives the opportunity Eri desires--that ofbecoming a Protector. He vows to teach Eri everything he learns, eventuallybringing veteran Protector Grayson into the mix. Grayson’s involvement throwsEri’s life more out of whack when she develops another uncontrollable emotionalpull in a direction she should not explore.

Because you’ve represented XVI and Evermore, I thinkyou might be interested in my novel, MY PROTECTOR: THE CALLING, a 67,000 wordYA manuscript.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
H.R.

MY PROTECTOR: THE CALLING

Going to the river alone is forbidden: especially at thishour. Knowing this clear-cut rule of our people did not stop me from stepping offthe gravel path and walking deep into the vacant field. I no longer controlledmy body.

Anger thrummed inside me as I drifted closer to the water. Ifit was even anger that forced me on this perilous course. I had never feltanger in my fingers. Whatever this was, it spiked across my synapses, prickedmy nerve endings, and riveted my senses. Summoning and magnetic, I was pulledtoward the unknown.

I didn’t belong here. I knew better. I should run in theopposite direction, back to our village. I could not turn away. With each stepinto the darkness, the foreign emotion intensified, guiding me forward. Isurrendered to the aggression. I had no choice.

I heard the warning bell like everyone else. My people fledfor safety into the closest shelter possible. Not me.

A few more steps and I would see the river through the treesif the waning light consented. The coursing water rushed along mirroring my heightenedflow of adrenaline. The sensory overload amplified, the calling grew louder,becoming hypnotic. Driving me like a machine, steering me down a path I wouldnot otherwise take.

I should not be here.

The bell clanged again, this time with faster frequency.I froze. Not because I knew better or because I needed to sprint home likeeveryone else.

An Agent's Inbox #4

2011-10-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Kate Schafer Testerman,

Sixth-grader Abegale Anton-Shale has to take care ofeverything around the house, since her dad died and her mom is always busyworking, or with another boyfriend. Her brother, Jeremy suffers with asthmamore and more, leaving her alone and scared. Abegale finds the green medicinebook and magic cards her grandmother left behind before disappearing in the Andes Mountains,with clues to a plant that may help him. Abegale is reminded of her own healinggifts, and becomes determined to set out where Nam left off.

A relentless crow and woodland deer, guide Abegale back toher grandmother’s abandoned cottage in the woods, where she witnesses intruderstorturing the geese and ducks to produce foie gras. She hatches a plan to ridthe town of the new occupants. With the help of her best friend, Stephanie Ruizand her new neighbor, and “more than a friend” Daniel Sheng, they bring thetownship of Three Points together with a petition, before things get worse, andwreak havoc on the environment. Soon the mystery of Abegale’s grandmother isrevealed, and how she wasn’t that far away after all.

ABEGALE FORCE is an upper middle-grade mystery withsupernatural elements, complete at 80,000 words. It is the story of one girl’s journeyto speak out about the cruelty she witnesses and stop the environmental impacther town faces. She rediscovers who she is, in a place where the ordinary worldbecomes extraordinary.

In writing this manuscript, I drew on my studies inherbalism, nutrition, and The Tarot, as well as my work as an artist and my experienceas a parent of middle-graders.

I thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Best Regards,
K.L.H.

ABEGALE FORCE

I’ll never get to Maiden Villas before Stephanie gets back.I have to find out what Mrs. Egremony meant saying, “Your Grandmother Rose is far--butnear?”

I take a deep breath, and push on my pedals to make it upthe last of the hill to Ridge Road,racing like a firebird on my bicycle; I named Phoenix.

Mrs. Egremony is Stephanie’s new landlady. She seems nice, Iguess. But now she tells me, she knew my Grandmother Rose years ago--before shedisappeared--and before I was born.

Namvanished in the Andes Mountains three yearsago, searching for herbal remedies with the Quechua people. The police neverfound her; so I guess there’s always been hope. I’ve always had hope.

I turn right onto Ridge Road--a crow swoops in front of me, and squawks,piercing my eardrums; I swerve my bike, hit a rock and fall facedown, into theasphalt rubble.

A car is coming. I turn, lifting my head and see Mr.Miller--Mrs. Egremony’s henchman--in his rusted brown pickup truck. He pulls upnext to me and leans out his window.

“Are you alrightAbegale?”

“Yeah--I just scraped my leg.” I jump up, dusting the crumbsof blacktop off. I look over my bike for damage and get that feeling someone iswatching. When I turn around, there’s that crow again, just staring from thetree branch--I’m betting it’s the same one.

“Are you on your way to see Stephanie?” Mr. Miller asks.

An Agent's Inbox #3

2011-10-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman:

Thank you for taking the time to participate in thiscontest. Here’s my entry.

A broken life. A broken wing. A broken boy catching sounds.
But catching sounds, you never know what you might hear. Younever know who wants to be heard.

Kristy McMullen lives next door to a sound catcher, and whenhe’s not off catching sounds, he’s pumping them out like it’s the pulse of hisvery heart.
Sometimes she thinks he’s trying to replace some of what shehas to listen to.
Sometimes she thinks he’s trying to work out if she’s a safebet.

One thing she knows for sure, being still and quiet, youhear things--feel things too. That’s why the broken things come to her. That’swhy they know they can.

But when one of those broken things is a dead girl with amessage she needs to hear, she and the sound catcher join together to right thewrong in Barrick Falls.

Kristy never thought she’d have to become the bait to do it.

And she sure never thought she’d have to become dead tosucceed.

But she will fix this. She will.
She has to, or she’ll lose the one thing she needs tobelieve in most--not all things need to remain broken.

STATIC-THE SOUNDCATCHERS is a paranormal thriller-slash-magicalrealism work complete at 65,000 and leans strongly towards the upper end of theYA market. Comparitive titles based on their paranormal aspect would be, ‘TheBody Finder’ by Kimberly Derting,and ‘Imaginary Girls’ by Nova Ren Suma for its magical realism qualities.

I hope you will find this of interest, and thank you againfor your time.

Best,
L.M.

STATIC-THE SOUNDCATCHERS

The first one had a broken wing. The last broke all over.

I stood still, quiet, watching him flap circles in myshadow, and I kept repeating one thing over and over again. “I know what youfeel. I know.” Just saying something like that made him settle some. Made mesettle some too.

Still, I was careful how I bent down to him, real slow, sohe’d get used to my shadow twitching the same as his body was. I stayed fixedon his eyes, trying to tell him I wasn’t like that Cal down the street who usedblackbirds for target practice. I tried to tell him I knew what it was like tohave a broken wing, to feel stuck like you couldn’t move.

I tried to tell him I was an invitation-only kind of offer.

“So you wanna do this?”

He fell quiet, his bothersome flapping stilled, and he gaveme a good long look. Not just on the outside, but climbed right inside to findwhat he needed. I started wondering then, waiting as I was, about all thebroken things in the world and how they came to find me. Maybe, we’re magnets for what we are ourselves.

Maybe.

Didn’t explain about the things that went beyond broken. Theyfound me just the same.

The blackbird fluttered my attention back to him. Guess hefound what he needed, ‘cause he was hopping his answer over to me.

I smiled.

Invitation given.
Invitation received.

“Okay then. Let’s fix this.”

An Agent's Inbox #2

2011-10-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman:

I'm excited to query the agent of both Ransom Riggs andMaureen Johnson. Your list is a wonderful mix of contemporary, suspense andfantasy and I hope SAVING ANDROMEDA, an 85,000-word YA contemporary mysterybased on a true story, would be a fit.

On the day Emma Hudson graduates from high school, amysterious note leads to three shocking revelations: Emma was adopted. Herbiological father is internationally famous rocker, Michael Stryker. And herbirth mother is convicted killer Andromeda Bain, who has sent Emma a lifetime'sworth of letters from prison.

Emma ditches her summer job to meet her parents and trackdown her roots. As she travels from her home in southeast Alaskato California and Nova Scotia, Emma discovers a family treeloaded with unknown relatives, hidden relationships and simmering feuds.Andromeda's letters reveal her passionate romance with Michael and raisequestions about her murder confession nineteen years ago. Emma's hunt todiscover who Andromeda was really protecting clashes with her new family, who'dprefer to sweep these secrets under the braided kitchen rug. Finding the truthis as elusive as filling a jar with fog, and the real killer is watching Emma'severy move.

My family comes from Nova Scotia, where secrets shroud and family trees tangle.A second cousin told me the story of this murder, which occurred in 1960s Nova Scotia. Rumorsalong the shore hinted that the lights we saw at the cottage down the road werethe ghost of the murdered man. I hope SAVING ANDROMEDA reflects some of thisintrigue. For thirteen years, I was a journalist for papers in Minnesota, Washington,and the Anchorage Daily News. I'm now a teacher and co-host a news blogcovering my small Alaskan town.

The first 250 words are below. Thanks for reading,

M.W.

SAVING ANDROMEDA

I think I knew long before discovering the letters that myreal name wasn’t actually Emma Hudson.

There were the repeat dreams of answering to a differentname, of looking in a mirror and seeing someone else’s face. For years, I’ddreamt of drowning, struggling to breathe in a body that wasn’t mine, ofwandering through my house to find room after room hidden under floor boards orin closets that unfolded like paper dolls.

I just figured they were the normal dreams of a teenager. Ifyou’d asked me who I was in the weeks leading up to high school graduation, myanswer would’ve been a list: basketball player, high school senior, daughter ofJud and Claire, resident of Resurrection, Alaska and Sam’s girlfriend.

The problem was, only some of that was true.

The mystery note came in the mail the week of final exams,along with a pile of late college brochures and other junk I’d been gettingsince my junior year. Mom put it all on my desk but it wasn’t until graduationday that I had time to sort through it.

The envelope looked like the others with my name written inneat handwriting across the front. I opened the flap and a piece of foldedpaper slipped out.

Ask your mother aboutAndromeda. Open the green chest in the basement. It’s yours.

It wasn’t signed. There was no return address.

An Agent's Inbox #1

2011-10-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Testerman:

I was glad to read you’re looking for funny MG, and you’re afan of Terry Pratchett. I think middle grade readers with Pratchett’sappreciation of the ridiculous will enjoy my MG novel, THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD.

Stubby Hintertail thought life in his isolated mountainvillage couldn’t get any worse. The Captain of his Boot Camp already assignedhim to the lowly Bunglewad Squad because his corkscrew tail makes him a grade-Aklutz. And being squad mates with a monstrous cat who can’t stop eating, awhiskerless close-talker, and a hypochondriac who wraps herself in tree bark isbad enough. But now, Stubby’s mother rescues a peculiar kitten from the river,enrolls it into the Bunglewad Squad, and charges Stubby to watch over it like abrother.

The sadistic Captain Marks detests the bizarre kitten, andStubby for being its brother. He tries to punish them all with harsh drills,but grows irate when he can’t do a single thing to wipe away the new kitten’ssmile. The Captain doubles and redoubles his efforts to make them suffer, butthis has unexpected results on Stubby’s squad, due to a fact no one realizesabout Stubby’s new brother.

Can Stubby and the rest of THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD learn to befunctioning cats, with a little help from a dog?

THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD is a completed 41,000 word MG bookthat’s The Bad News Bears meets Warriors.

As for me, I’m a crossword puzzle constructor published inthe NY and LA Times.

Thank you for your time, and congrats on the blockbustersuccess of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children!

J.C.

THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD

A small gray cat teetered on a high branch with one pawcurled around a red crab apple. “Father, hurry!” he shouted. “This apple isburning my nose, and I’m losing my balance again!” A breeze kicked up and hedug his claws into the swaying oak.

“Just a moment, Stubby,” his father said from below. Hestood erect on his hind legs and patted down white fur exploding from his head.“Proceed to drop it.”

“Are you sure?” Stubby asked. “You won’t get hurt?” Stubbycracked an eye open, but quickly squeezed it shut as he caught a glimpse of theeerie Zwicksturm River in the distance.

“I don’t know--it may be even more painful than the graniterock,” his father replied. “But science waits for no cat! And please remember:as my apprentice-in-training, you must follow my every instruction.”

“Sorry, sir,” Stubby mumbled. All the other privates are right, he thought. I’m just a stupid, good-for-nothing bungler. He shuddered as hepictured the village sign which haunted his every moment:

THE STRONG SHALL LEAD
THE ADEQUATE SHALL WORK
THE FAILURES SHALL LEAVE

What if I fail atZwicksturm Boot Camp AND this science apprenticeship? I’d be exiled from ourvillage, into the wild! Who knows what crazy beasts live outside the GreatStone Schutzwall?

Now Accepting Entries!

2011-10-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: And that's a wrap! We've got our 20 entries! Look for those to go up first thing Wednesday morning (or later Wednesday morning, if you live on the East Coast)!

I'm now accepting entries for October’s round of "AnAgent's Inbox"! Here's a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must beCOMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of thegenres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,”please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT thatmeets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I willdisqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, October18, I may allow previous participants to enter (but to be honest, I’ll besurprised if we make it that far).

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript.You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'lldisqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EDT (OR 7:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entrywindow opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sentbefore the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a postnumber. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but itwon't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent, Kate Schafer Testerman* of kt literary,will select both the winners and the prizes. She might pick 20 winners, or shemight only pick one. She might offer full requests, or she might only ask tosee another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I'veencouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batchof queries. Essentially, she’ll be answering the question, "How much ofthe entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?"I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, youneed to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query andfirst page.

The Genres

YA fiction (all subgenres)
MG fiction (all subgenres)

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDSof your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, pleaseremember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

*I know this probably goes without saying, but you shouldprobably treat this round a little differently because you already know who TheAgent is. Specifically, if Ms. Testerman has already rejected your query, YOUPROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VE MADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOURQUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to say you can’t enter (mostly because Ihave no way to police it), but you--and she--are going to get a lot more out ofthis contest if you enter something The Agent hasn’t seen before.